Sensible Erection | Profile

Profile - eightysix

Member since Sunday, 3 November 2002
Last visited on Friday, 24 May 2013

eightysix has posted 30 entries, 1545 comments , has a karma score of 49 and has moderated other SE users +75 Good.

eightysix has this to say

Sensible Yakuza v 0.1

Now, the Sansibeiru Family is not a strictly a family. Not everybody in the family are related by blood, though each member is categorically very much alike. A typical member of the family owns or runs a business – Pachinko parlors, gambling dens, soaplands, love hotels, hostess clubs. You get the idea. Gambling and sex are always lucrative businesses, but the picture is much larger than that. Younger members cut their teeth on protection rackets and blackmail, and sometimes, when things aren't going so well, they cut their fingers. These business practices have given the family a less than sterling reputation, but the family always has society in mind. The Sansibeiru Family is a spiderweb of a network of businesses, built with the sweat and blood of innumerous members. And boy, when the Yakuza work, they work hard.

No one else could be as selfless, and as respectful of custom as a Yakuza. While foreign corporate behavior slowly seeps into the rigid infrastructure of modern day flourescent lit Japan, the Yakuza continues to observe the customs of a simpler period. Here they are, outcasts who put their lives on the line every single day to protect and preserve society as they know it. Does this great country know anyone more misunderstood than the Yakuza?

Sadly, the old ways are slowly slipping away. The world becomes just a little bit more unrecognizable each day. It used to go unnoticed, unless you've spent the last ten years in prison. And the world seems to be getting impatient. It has become a Western teenager, eager to leave the embrace of those who have brought it up, to metamorphose into an independent adult. You and I know that Japan is not going to make it without our help, so we help from the sidelines. Japan needs us, this is a fact both Japan and the Yakuza are aware of.

Now, there is a small problem in this family of ours. And we've seen this happen from time to time, when somebody would have a little thought in their head. 'Why don't we do this some other way?', they'd say. We would tell them no, but you'll always see in their expressions that they think that whatever ideas they've conjured overnight would trump hundreds of years of proven efficiency. So we let them try and invariably fail. Lose some money, lose a finger. It's part of the learning process. We tend not to worry about the small problems, since they always sort themselves out in the end.

There have been recent stirrings about a Brotherhood within the family with aspirations. They think they'll become the next big thing, disrupting our own operations to prove their point. They won't stop at anything, even killing members of our family until they've brought forth this revolution. When they number more than those of us respectful of the old ways, then our tradition will have been defeated. Well, fortunately, we aren't samurai – we are ignoble outcasts who can only have ignoble deaths. We probably won't have the courtesy to let them kill themselves once we find them.

Don't worry about those upstarts, though. We have a sawbones on call, a little miracle worker we keep busy with abortions, knife wound stitching and the like. We thought he was just an average surgeon banned from his practice on our payroll, but he turned out to be a little genius in his mastery of life and death. All I'm saying is if he wants to stick a syringe in you, make sure you know what's in it.

Now, they say the government is indistinguishable from yakuza – they enforce rules on society, force them to come under their protection and collect payment for doing so. The lines do get blurred from time to time, and just like we have our guys in government agencies, the government has their investigators in ours, probing into our deeds. After all, 'if you do not enter a tiger's den, you cannot catch its cub.' These come in two types; the morally chaste, and the corruptible. The morally chaste ones are the good investigators, they find out what people are doing, and how they tie into the organization and report back to their superiors. Calling them 'morally chaste' is, of course, sarcasm. They do as we do, and only a hypocrite thinks he can commit small crimes to avert a big one. The corruptible ones are even worse, but at least they are pragmatic. They will side with whoever fortune favors, as long as it ensures they get the best out of it. But these people play a delicate game. Nobody likes betrayal after all.

I have a feeling I'm forgetting something.

Oh yes, there's someone who's running around looking for members of the little idealist brotherhood we have. Remember how I said that that fratenity wouldn't stop at anything to get what they want? The story goes that they killed a little girl working in a soap land. As it turns out, this girl happens to have a few lovers, one of whom might have gone a little unhinged in the head department. All I'm saying is there might be an avenger out there who wants revenge.

It can be a tough business, but you'll go far if you stick with it. I suppose I've told you all you need to know. Now, finish your beer, and make us some money.

Rules
Mafia Game for 25

Yakuza – Not quite the good guys, the Yakuza are the uninformed majority this time, trying to root out the Brotherhood. Yakuza win when all members of the Brotherhood and the Serial Killer are dead. Yes, it's brutal, but it's neccessary.

Sawbones – Not licensed to practice medicine anymore, the Sawbones was quickly recruited by the mafia. A miracle worker, considering his perennial lack of proper tools, the Sawbones can choose to stay close to someone at night, patching them up if they get attacked. The Sawbones is also fiercely loyal to the Yakuza, and can spend his night, armed with scalpel, to perform a life-ending operation.

Investigator – There are two of these government slaves in the Yakuza, acting as undercover informants. One of them is loyal, while the other one.. well, let's just say his convictions aren't as firm. The loyal investigator wins with the Yakuza, when relative peace is restored to the Yakuza, but the corruptible investigator can choose which side he wants to win with. The corruptible investigator can only change his allegiance at night and once he finds a member of the Brotherhood, the Brotherhood can elect whether to bring him on board. The investigators each know that their moral counterpart exists.

Brotherhood – The brotherhood meet up in secret to discuss their plans to overthrow the yakuza hierachy. Does a hunger for power or a vendetta against some people in the family fuel them? It's hard to say for sure. They kill one Yakuza member every night.

Avenger – Someone sent this guy a message in spectacular yakuza fashion and it drove the Avenger a little bit insane. Now he kills one person indiscriminately every night, and he's not going to stop until he finds every last person in the Brotherhood. The Avenger wins when all members of the Brotherhood are dead. In this case, the enemy of your enemy is definitely not your friend.