Comments

Silk said @ 6:20pm GMT on 16th May [Score:2 Informative]
bo
illox said @ 9:05am GMT on 2nd Jan [Score:2 Insightful]
well this is frigging strange, 404, the end of time, the land of crap.
nothing...

oh well, if it ain't here then it probably wasn't worth seeing anyway.

guess your going to have to get your goetse or tranpron or autopsy photos what ever god awful crap you were looking for somewhere else, because there's a reason it doesn't exist here, and a reason you can't find it, you sick freak...
follywaggle said @ 3:23pm GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Insightful]
the reason is out there
Modano said @ 12:22am GMT on 29th Oct [Score:1 Insightful]
Mo' Drano wuz here.
sythe said @ 12:37pm GMT on 10th Oct [Score:1 Insightful]
FYI, so was everyone else.
n0ah said @ 7:20pm GMT on 23rd Apr
illox said @ 9:05am GMT on 2nd Jan [Score:2]
well this is frigging strange, 404, the end of time, the land of crap.
nothing...

oh well, if it ain't here then it probably wasn't worth seeing anyway.

guess your going to have to get your goetse or tranpron or autopsy photos what ever god awful crap you were looking for somewhere else, because there's a reason it doesn't exist here, and a reason you can't find it, you sick freak...
smada said @ 2:07am GMT on 24th Feb [Score:-1 Overrated]
smada said @ 2:07am GMT on 24th Feb [Score:-1 Overrated]

<a href= said @ 6:11pm GMT on 22nd Jul
Mwha
leezurd said @ 1:36pm GMT on 16th Feb
*POOF*

What the...

:(

*skitters off*
Sarahbear said @ 6:35am GMT on 14th Oct
TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBEEEEEERRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr
Vampire_X said @ 11:38am GMT on 25th Mar
salvation?
Vampire_X said @ 11:43am GMT on 25th Mar
restoration?
Vampire_X said @ 11:46am GMT on 25th Mar
last try
Vampire_X said @ 11:48am GMT on 25th Mar


how scary is it that these skills are supposed to earn me a career?
n nm said @ 3:54am GMT on 5th Jun
sdf
lmnop said @ 1:01am GMT on 29th Jul
foreach
Phaedrine said @ 2:53pm GMT on 8th Nov
フゥ~!
Phaedrine said @ 3:47pm GMT on 26th Sep
http://shygypsy.com/farm/p.cgi?state=baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeaaiaaabaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoniaaaaibaaaaaaaaaaaaaoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa&style=yxwrsuzqaqvavaqvscqyyiswxrczzserqqxzvxtncadyutafrqgvytvnargavybgyitbcyki&i=2&j=2&cmd=guess&guess=+
said @ 3:40pm GMT on 8th Jun [Score:5 Informative]
haha this is the lost page.....
maybe I should write an error..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
SORRY WE COULD NOT FIND THE PAGE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
De_Wr0ng said @ 3:24am GMT on 6th Aug
Start of test
De_Wr0ng said @ 6:26pm GMT on 6th Aug
--> Really the end of the test
f00m said @ 8:34am GMT on 20th Dec [Score:2]
w00t X-files music!
At124 said @ 10:22pm GMT on 15th Jul [Score:-4 Overrated]
zenviper said @ 1:35am GMT on 10th Dec [Score:-1 Insightful]
I saw his eyes on fire.
iamajohnson said @ 1:08am GMT on 23rd Jan
fuckin' awesome
gunthar said @ 2:56am GMT on 9th Feb [Score:-4]
godbless no script =)
leezurd said @ 5:07am GMT on 17th Apr [Score:-4]
:(
benjamander said @ 4:07pm GMT on 17th Feb
RoboRonnie said @ 8:21pm GMT on 20th Feb
Where... even ... am I?
RoboRonnie said @ 5:27am GMT on 18th Mar
LoL
Rojo^ said @ 10:38am GMT on 10th Jan [Score:-1 Overrated]
Rojo^ said @ 10:39am GMT on 10th Jan [Score:-1 Overrated]
f00m said @ 11:02pm GMT on 31st Jan [Score:-1]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SORRY, WE COULD NOT FIND THE PAGE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At124 said @ 10:21pm GMT on 15th Jul [Score:-2]
dagfari said @ 11:00am GMT on 2nd Feb [Score:1 Insightful]
I can't resist commenting...
zenviper said @ 11:26am GMT on 20th Mar [Score:1 Insightful]
Where am I?
crwk8 said @ 11:53pm GMT on 7th Jul
omg! WTF is this shit!
nuc said @ 6:22pm GMT on 24th Mar
teh awesomeness, moaroarlesses
ralfmaximus said @ 4:25pm GMT on 15th Jul
kruxfelt said @ 6:16pm GMT on 29th Aug
Inform me of your intentions!
mrcucumber said @ 11:10pm GMT on 16th Apr
Who said?
mrcucumber said @ 11:25pm GMT on 16th Apr
MY EYES!!!!!! MY EYES!!!!
Britney said @ 11:49pm GMT on 9th Jun [Score:1 Interesting]
I know I may be young, but I got feelings too.
smada said @ 3:08am GMT on 12th Jan
OMFFG Bri7n3y is Teh H4wT s3XXX0rZ
At124 said @ 5:59pm GMT on 1st Nov
Only the marque & blink tags should be allowed!
At124 said @ 6:01pm GMT on 1st Nov
Only the marquee & blink tag should be allowed!
f00m said @ 7:06pm GMT on 10th Apr
I have feelings in my pants.
Spunky_Monkey said @ 9:07am GMT on 15th Jun
What is this place you have led me to?
Crysallis said @ 1:36am GMT on 7th Jul
404 baybeh!
DirtyBirdy said @ 1:12am GMT on 10th Jul
wow, it's the secret hidden section of SE...
Chop-Logik said @ 3:24am GMT on 23rd Jul
YUO = FUX0rED UP/
EPT said @ 11:17pm GMT on 2nd Aug
Abandon all hope ye who enter here - here be dragons!
Jason Velocity said @ 11:36pm GMT on 2nd Aug
Now that is cool Supa Secret Hideout!
david_the_bumblebee said @ 1:25am GMT on 3rd Aug
WTFack?
smada said @ 2:08am GMT on 24th Feb



worthless fugarte













worthlessfugarte
















here older hosted by DiaryLand.com guestbook profile






2003-02-19 at 10:13 p.m.





Today was no good. I wish I knew how too say more.






2003-02-04 at 8:56 p.m.





today=

a new haircut

a new rug

michael

and I moved my guitar to my room.

hurrah.






2003-01-27 at 12:10 a.m.





it's supposed to look like me.

it

I suppose I'm a bit chunkier.






2003-01-19 at 2:28 a.m.





That's me! at fat camp! In the top left corner with my back turned! I'm the one with my hands on my hips not wrestling!

me again! standing up in the black mab shirt!

it looks like that guy is about to grab my ass. p.s. my sleeves are up because it was extra hot that day, not trying to look snazzy or anything. at it's peak, the temperature was about 97º.

I'm up in the top right corner. hurrah.

well those are all that I could fine.







previous or next


Rude Boy said @ 1:37am GMT on 4th Aug





Sunday, 4 August 2002






BoyGirlBang



quote [ This is the very first video I ever shot, and I wanted to start things out with a bang, so I used the biggest, fattest, loser I've ever met - Bob. Anyway, I took Bob to a local mall and we spent nearly an entire day looking for a chick willing to do him before we finally found Mariah in the parking lot. It ended up costing $600, but it was worth it! Enjoy the video! ]


posted by airkiwi @ 5:10am GMT | add to watchlist | 4 comments (2 new)


Hi-grade SE






New sexylosers!



Just thought I'd share. :)

posted by windex @ 3:03pm GMT | add to watchlist | 14 comments


Low quality SE
matt said @ 3:17am GMT on 4th Aug
I like it up the bum.
smada said @ 10:46pm GMT on 19th Feb
indeed
gallery404 said @ 12:34pm GMT on 27th Aug
Do you douche or use and enema first? Can you have an orgasm just from anal? Or is just more injoyable, much the way many women love the feelings, penetration, opening yourself, giving pleasure without and actual culmination of ejaculet?

Does your ass leak later, or get out of sorts?

Thanks in advance!
tristan said @ 4:28am GMT on 4th Aug
And I like giving it up the bum. Bend over, sexy.
kuskus said @ 12:01am GMT on 29th Dec
Both of you bend over
Robyn said @ 5:36am GMT on 4th Aug
I just like it period! Its just unfortunate I dont get it from Amul Muzz cause he is the sexiest beast evah!!!!!!

I Roxxoer teh L33ts!!!!
Fenny said @ 1:20am GMT on 11th Mar
whatever happened to Amul Muzz, he was teh cool?
[ploink] said @ 10:16am GMT on 23rd Aug
wow, what an interesting page

http://exploitationnow.com/
http://truemeaningoflife.com/
http://www.blindwino.com/driver.html
http://tang.keenspace.com/
http://sluggy.com/
http://gpf-comics.com/
http://www.explodingdog.com/
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/
http://yellow5.com/pokey/
http://isometric.spaceninja.com/
http://hammerspace.fojar.com/
http://hensel.lifepatterns.net/
Interficium said @ 6:41am GMT on 24th Aug [Score:-1 Troll]
Sluggy fucking sucks and always has.
[ploink] said @ 9:32am GMT on 24th Aug
Did I say you could speak?
Jag said @ 11:28pm GMT on 28th Aug
Sluggy is kinda losing its humor. For a while, it was funny... now, it's horrible. Meh, the best of us can fall
Jor said @ 7:04am GMT on 11th Sep
Just testing ;)

test

[url]http://www.cannedtunes.net/fusker/?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.babesandcars.com%2Fcc-content%2Fcontent%2Fcsbpics%2Fmatrix%2Fadashabd1024%2Fhigh%2FO-adashabdGG%5B001-133%5D.jpg&displaytype=images[/url]
Jor said @ 7:04am GMT on 11th Sep
Just testing ;)

test

[url]http://www.cannedtunes.net/fusker/?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.babesandcars.com%2Fcc-content%2Fcontent%2Fcsbpics%2Fmatrix%2Fadashabd1024%2Fhigh%2FO-adashabdGG%5B001-133%5D.jpg&displaytype=images[/url]
phishfood said @ 12:54pm GMT on 12th Sep
FUCK Y'ALL I'M PHISHPHOOD AND YOU CAN EAT MA BALL'Z
friedbeer said @ 1:15pm GMT on 28th Sep
Hello to the fine gentlemen & ladies of SE.

*burp*
co.pilot said @ 2:05am GMT on 1st Nov
what the hell is this? some sort of sensible erection easter egg?
BergZ said @ 5:28pm GMT on 10th Jan
Golgatha, SE style.
Spunky_Monkey said @ 4:35am GMT on 10th Nov [Score:1 Insightful]
I think THIS is where we should hide the pr0n links
von_sanchez said @ 1:40am GMT on 11th Aug
Why not in 8008135?
Jamouse said @ 1:27am GMT on 11th Nov
Egads
little hell said @ 6:36am GMT on 13th Nov
all those dead babies......jesus glass blowing christ buggering a dolphin!
Trigger said @ 11:23am GMT on 13th Nov
MENTION NO FETII IN THIS MOST SACRED OF PLACES.
p_headless_g said @ 10:00pm GMT on 27th Apr
Fetus. Fetus, fetus, fucking fetus. Fetus fetus bo betus, banana fana fo fetus, me mi mo metus... FETUS!!!
See? That's what you get. Mention no fetii indeed... How, may I ask??!?!

Fetus...
Robyn said @ 12:13am GMT on 23rd Dec
Merry Christmas.

Deeez nuuutz.
Evan said @ 11:46pm GMT on 25th Dec
lol look what i stumpled onto..
rebbel said @ 12:24pm GMT on 2nd Jan
yummy yummy, nice chickies!!
follywaggle said @ 11:30pm GMT on 11th Jan
And yet as of now it only has a +1 he he.
Hummus! said @ 12:09am GMT on 15th Jan [Score:1 Insightful]
HUMMUS! LOVE YOU ALL!!!



what this anyway!?
Trigger said @ 9:07am GMT on 6th May
COME BACK TO US HUMMUS!!!!
nyq said @ 9:11am GMT on 22nd Jan
dear me.
EPT said @ 7:18pm GMT on 25th Jan
My god, that's a lot of mods. Where's my +/- 0 Confused?
friedbeer said @ 2:17am GMT on 26th Jan
Belladonna gives great head. :P
awsmm said @ 2:05am GMT on 17th Feb
Please let me out, Matt, I'll check the adult box next time!!!!!!!
Andrew said @ 1:48pm GMT on 1st Mar
Where... am I? o_o
Chop-Logik said @ 6:05pm GMT on 1st Mar

3000th comment!
Chop-Logik said @ 6:06pm GMT on 1st Mar
Thanks to smada for making all the links pink. wonderful.
smada said @ 5:10pm GMT on 27th Jul
i think it's really cute.
p_headless_g said @ 4:12pm GMT on 27th Apr
I knew I shouldn't have eaten that bag of gravy I found in the parking lot...
It's like... through... the looking glass... man...
*bleeds away into the night sky*
tomble said @ 8:20am GMT on 1st May
What is this place?
MEEJA HOR said @ 11:34am GMT on 28th Jul [Score:1 Funny]
This is 'the fourth place', Playstation got the third one
sensibleb said @ 12:59pm GMT on 17th May
Bonehead hax0r nuked the SE front page, so I stumbled in here by accident. I feel so L337. Here is a broken image link:

Chop-Logik said @ 1:13pm GMT on 17th May
thanks :)
/me regrets looking at the code :D
sensibleb said @ 1:46pm GMT on 17th May
/me knew you would. ;-D
sensibleb said @ 1:00pm GMT on 17th May
Bonehead hax0r nuked the SE front page, so I stumbled in here by accident. I feel so L337. Here is a broken image link:

sensibleb said @ 1:42pm GMT on 17th May [Score:1 Funny]
This was not a double-post. It's just an artifact created by the symmetry of this interdimensional nether-page.
Raoul Duke said @ 5:02pm GMT on 7th Jun [Score:4 Insightful]
We were just outside of SE, on the edge of the web, when the drugs began to take hold.

I remember saying something like, "I feel a bit lightheaded, I think I fucked up the site." All of a sudden, the screen was filled with the ravings and babblings of porn addicts.

Eh, fuck it.
:)
Raoul Duke said @ 5:02pm GMT on 7th Jun [Score:1 Funny]
We were just outside of SE, on the edge of the web, when the drugs began to take hold.

I remember saying something like, "I feel a bit lightheaded, I think I fucked up the site." All of a sudden, the screen was filled with the ravings and babblings of porn addicts.

Eh, fuck it.
:)
Raoul Duke said @ 5:09pm GMT on 7th Jun
2003, a double post on the internet.

I recall one afternoon on SE, there I was - mother of God, there I I am /\/\ - I was a natural web addict, just clicking on whatever came by...
Raoul Duke said @ 5:15pm GMT on 7th Jun
Apologies to the Good Doctor.
donnie said @ 11:42pm GMT on 18th Jun
dooooeeeesss annnnyyyoooonnneee waaannnnnnnnttt soooommmeee SSSSSSSS EEEEEEE? Iiiiii gggggoooootttaaaaallll theeeeeee mmmmaaakkkkings riiiiggghhht heeeeeereee. Alllllll iiiiii neeeeddddddiiiizzza plllllaaaacccceeee tooo ffffffaaaappppp......
sensibleb said @ 8:04pm GMT on 22nd Jun
FFFFFAAAAAPPPPP-FFFffAAAaaPPPpp-FFfffAAaaaPPppp-
FffffAaaaaPpppp-ffffaaaapppp-fffaaappp-ffaapp-fap-fap-fap...
(echoes off into the inky distance)
grinick said @ 6:53am GMT on 28th Dec
IGNORE THE EFFECTS

OF THIS



TERRIBLE DRUG
PERL_ZEALOT said @ 4:32am GMT on 14th Jun
I am still awesome.
Chop-Logik said @ 5:12am GMT on 14th Jun
OMRGM U SUX
Chop-Logik said @ 5:13am GMT on 14th Jun
bfgbgb
housewares said @ 5:24am GMT on 14th Jun
where's the pron?
housewares said @ 5:25am GMT on 14th Jun [Score:1 Interesting]
?
housewares said @ 5:26am GMT on 14th Jun
The Library of Babel
housewares said @ 5:26am GMT on 14th Jun
"groovy"
graham said @ 4:18am GMT on 16th Jun
wtf
colinxp said @ 5:21pm GMT on 24th Jun
i am a cyberspace cowboy.
account said @ 12:37am GMT on 25th Jun
What the fuck indeed.
Pink and purple-you are now turning gay.
stmpynode said @ 12:19am GMT on 2nd Jul
how straaange. i will have to leave my mark. [X]
insanemonkey said @ 10:04pm GMT on 6th Jul
well well well...wasn't expecting this....pink...hmmm...how odd
Chop-Logik said @ 5:35pm GMT on 7th Jul
you have smada to thank for that.
mykel said @ 3:52pm GMT on 14th Jul
Heh.. I found this on my own. I AM SO SMRT!! This is why you never have your post IDs sorted chronologically ;)
felix said @ 11:45pm GMT on 21st Jul
ooh, behind the curtain
Crysallis said @ 11:57pm GMT on 21st Jul
Close that door!
Crysallis said @ 5:50pm GMT on 22nd Jul
Another_One said @ 1:17am GMT on 22nd Jul
Banished by Crysallis
<a href= said @ 6:12pm GMT on 22nd Jul
@#%&^
vahid said @ 4:44pm GMT on 27th Jul
oh how cute..............
phishfood said @ 5:05pm GMT on 27th Jul
POOOOOOOOO
gunthar said @ 5:29pm GMT on 27th Jul
I fjrrred my pants.
MEEJA HOR said @ 6:02pm GMT on 27th Jul
all this pink is making me feel rather camp
mzxfan said @ 6:11pm GMT on 27th Jul
so this is what is in the end of wormholes...
racerx said @ 6:24pm GMT on 27th Jul
What the fuck is wrong with SE?
De_Wr0ng said @ 10:04pm GMT on 27th Jul
WTF?
sensibleb said @ 11:19pm GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Informative]
Ok, there was this one time, when I was six years old, that I was sitting in front of the TV watching Deputy Dawg and eating peanut butter and jelly, that a plane crashed outside my house, only it wasn't a plane, it was a school bus, but it fell out of the sky, which for some reason was pink instead of blue, and anyway, this school bus fell out of the sky, and I ran outside to see if anyone was hurt, and the bus driver was Gino Vanelli, that guy who had those songs in the 80's about wild horses and black cars, and I asked him if school buses looked better in the shade, but he just kind of burbled "bllt-blb-ughh-blbb", because his face must have hit the steering wheel when he hit the ground, and most of his teeth were gone, well not gone really, a few of them were still stuck in the steering wheel and one or two were on the green plastic seat, which looked kind of brownish under the pink sky, and I thought maybe I should call an ambulance, but there was no one else on the bus but Gino, and I didn't care for him much anyway, so I went back inside and finished my sandwich.
sensibleb said @ 11:23pm GMT on 27th Jul
Oh, and I like the number fifteen.
LeavemeAlone said @ 11:28pm GMT on 27th Jul
Wow, this is really fucked up. I hope I get back to reality.
mewse said @ 12:37am GMT on 28th Jul
oh my god wtf is going on, why are all the links pink, who posted the topic, wheres my sandwich
colinxp said @ 1:58am GMT on 28th Jul
ahhh, i was hoping id be back here someday.
arteitle said @ 9:21am GMT on 28th Jul [Score:3 Funny]
You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... the Twilight Zone.
jornin said @ 11:16am GMT on 28th Jul
Is SE ever going to work properly again?
MEEJA HOR said @ 11:32am GMT on 28th Jul [Score:2 Funny]
In some ways i hope it doesn't.
Every blog needs a gay pink backdoor to enhance it's mass appeal
sensibleb said @ 4:18am GMT on 30th Jul [Score:1 Interesting]
Tee hee... you said gay pink backdoor.
Trigger said @ 7:25pm GMT on 12th Aug
Tee hee... you said gay pink backdoor
quaint said @ 7:24pm GMT on 22nd Oct
Astonishing..... In light of all these people saying "Gay pink backdoor", you too have managed to say "Gay pink Backdoor"!.

Something seems amiss
leezurd said @ 11:52am GMT on 28th Jul
Woops!
Wrong door, sorry.
De_Wr0ng said @ 4:43pm GMT on 9th Aug


End of test
f00m@nB@r said @ 3:42pm GMT on 12th Aug
-->
De_Wr0ng said @ 4:39pm GMT on 9th Aug
This still be errie.
De_Wr0ng said @ 4:41pm GMT on 9th Aug
--> Double heh
De_Wr0ng said @ 4:43pm GMT on 9th Aug
-->
skrewlooze said @ 12:59am GMT on 26th Aug
bizarro world.
whatfor said @ 4:33am GMT on 26th Aug
Here is where all of your pink flowing goodness dwells intimately with your main brain. Or, not.....
Rammek said @ 11:13am GMT on 26th Aug
*wants to be part of the action*
*hangs around*

Oh well, that was fun. Bye.
De_Wr0ng said @ 11:31am GMT on 26th Aug
What you all doing in my play room. Wahhhhhhhh .... Mommy......
EPT said @ 10:17pm GMT on 26th Aug
Damn, there's another secret post somwhere, but I can't remember where...
Neo Kojiro said @ 2:03pm GMT on 30th Aug
Well, to quote Chop-Logik: "OMG OMGWTF!"
graham said @ 4:51pm GMT on 20th Sep
omg....the links are pink like the inside of my anus...
insensate said @ 12:02am GMT on 22nd Feb
Thanks for sharing.
verycleanteeth said @ 4:26pm GMT on 21st Sep
why is it pink?

BTW, I wonder if people instinctively hit their brakes when they careen off cliffs
teh voice of teh intarweb said @ 12:46pm GMT on 22nd Sep
THIS IS TEH VOICE OF TEH INTARWEB
Mr. Langosta said @ 2:31am GMT on 30th Sep
Found this on accident. 9/30/03
rick_fagnolia said @ 4:11am GMT on 13th Oct
I=teh scared of the secret page
graham said @ 5:02pm GMT on 7th Nov [Score:1 Insightful]
I just tried to squeeze out a fart, and sent out a little poo.
little poo said @ 7:56pm GMT on 16th May
And...Boy are my arms TIRED !
v21 said @ 2:00pm GMT on 24th Nov
I don't think this is a good idea... I am nowhere near a long time member (just over as year) and i go through the archives when i am bored. I think, especially with the idea of sorting posts by over all + mods as suggested at the top of this post and matt's last post, that disallowing mods on old posts wouldn't be the best idea. Comments could have the timestamp tests, but entries like the dirty joke contest a while ago would be unfavorably affected.
ballinyourmouth said @ 7:22am GMT on 28th Nov
I am full of awesome
blindnerd said @ 11:17pm GMT on 4th Dec
Testing test testies
blindnerd said @ 11:18pm GMT on 4th Dec
Testing test testies
nip said @ 2:34am GMT on 9th Dec
There is no erection.
nip said @ 2:38am GMT on 9th Dec
Should have taken the blue pill. Neo??? I BELIEVE!!!
Chicken Nuts said @ 3:06am GMT on 9th Dec
Holy Fux...
p_headless_g said @ 4:16am GMT on 9th Dec
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p_headless_g said @ 4:19am GMT on 9th Dec [Score:-1 Overrated]
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arteitle said @ 4:46am GMT on 9th Dec
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graham said @ 6:37am GMT on 14th Dec
WHERE IS MY HANDY PICTUAR!?!?!
Vampire_X said @ 8:52am GMT on 14th Dec
+watchlist

http://www.wickeddownloads.com/tazboard/indexy.html
kafir said @ 5:03pm GMT on 14th Dec
this is bizarre.
and the music.....
Vampire_X said @ 5:07pm GMT on 14th Dec
yeah...
Vampire_X said @ 5:08pm GMT on 14th Dec
also, someone has made all the text purple...
graham said @ 8:51pm GMT on 14th Dec
Chop-Logik said @ 3:06pm on 1st Mar - moderate/reply
Thanks to smada for making all the links pink. wonderful.

smada said @ 1:10pm on 27th Jul - moderate/reply
i think it's really cute.
graham said @ 8:51pm GMT on 14th Dec
Chop-Logik said @ 3:06pm on 1st Mar - moderate/reply
Thanks to smada for making all the links pink. wonderful.
smada said @ 1:10pm on 27th Jul - moderate/reply
i think it's really cute.
graham said @ 8:51pm GMT on 14th Dec
Chop-Logik said @ 3:06pm on 1st Mar - moderate/reply
Thanks to smada for making all the links pink. wonderful.
smada said @ 1:10pm on 27th Jul - moderate/reply
i think it's really cute.
graham said @ 8:52pm GMT on 14th Dec
Chop-Logik said @ 3:06pm on 1st Mar - moderate/reply
Thanks to smada for making all the links pink. wonderful.
smada said @ 1:10pm on 27th Jul - moderate/reply
i think it's really cute.
Vampire_X said @ 3:11am GMT on 15th Dec
i suppose you where the one who made the background black too?
Vampire_X said @ 3:12am GMT on 15th Dec
actualy, scrach that "too"
De_Wr0ng said @ 11:03am GMT on 20th Dec
Black?
Todomanna said @ 6:23pm GMT on 18th Dec
Weeeeeeeeeeee!
Todomanna said @ 7:48pm GMT on 18th Dec
Did I mention "Weeeeeeeeeeee!"?
nip said @ 7:39pm GMT on 18th Dec
......I'm madly in love with teh ch0rp!
Chop-Logik said @ 4:45pm GMT on 3rd Oct

I GOT IT ALL ON TAPE
Shutup said @ 5:14am GMT on 20th Dec
This page owned mozilla. Which begs the question, where am I?
Baxter_UK said @ 7:34am GMT on 20th Dec
Fuck, you've gone completely sideways, man. It'll blow you straight through the wall, stone dead in ten seconds.
grinick said @ 6:58am GMT on 28th Dec
Ignore the effects of this....terrible drug
f00m said @ 8:33am GMT on 20th Dec
lmao X-files music
letoofdune said @ 12:48pm GMT on 20th Dec
Holy shit. I'm at the end of the web. SE is t3h p0wnd!
sensibleb said @ 12:58pm GMT on 20th Dec
(When I think of Marck, I touch myself)
letoofdune said @ 1:08pm GMT on 20th Dec
you too?
germanjulian said @ 6:34pm GMT on 28th Dec
?????????????? wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Chris Woods said @ 7:48pm GMT on 28th Dec
Huh. The page at the end of the world.

And I can't resist the urge to comment.
f00m said @ 12:07am GMT on 29th Dec
but how do i soment?
utah said @ 10:55am GMT on 29th Dec
I hope I haven't brained my damage...
Rouge_Element said @ 2:05pm GMT on 29th Dec
OMG!
graham said @ 5:05pm GMT on 29th Dec
THIS POST IS NULL VOID DELEETEEED
penisinface said @ 6:52am GMT on 30th Dec






this space intentionaly left blank
Vampire_X said @ 4:57am GMT on 5th Jan

JibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabbervvJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabber
Vampire_X said @ 5:03am GMT on 5th Jan

JibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabbervvJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabber
JOECAM said @ 6:45pm GMT on 5th Jan
WTF
larger2day said @ 6:50pm GMT on 5th Jan
Hey hey!!
larger2day said @ 6:51pm GMT on 5th Jan
OMG the x files theme !!!!
Mr. Langosta said @ 3:57am GMT on 10th Jan [Score:-1]
'THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM'
by The Marquis de Sade
Translated by Austryn Wainhouse and Richard Seaver


INTRODUCTION
The extensive wars wherewith Louis XIV was burdened during his reign,
while draining the State's treasury and exhausting the substance of the
people, none the less contained the secret that led to the prosperity of a
swarm of those bloodsuckers who are always on the watch for public
calamities, which, instead of appeasing, they promote or invent so as,
precisely, to be able to profit from them the more advantageously. The end
of this so very sublime reign was perhaps one of the periods in the history
of the French Empire when one saw the emergence of the greatest number of
these mysterious fortunes whose origins are as obscure as the lust and
debauchery that accompany them. It was toward the close of this period, and
not long before the Regent sought, by means of the famous tribunal which
goes under the name of the Chambre de Justice, to flush this multitude of
traffickers, that four of them conceived the idea for the singular revels
whereof we are going to give an account. One must not suppose that it was
exclusively the low-born and vulgar sort which did this swindling;
gentlemen of the highest note led the pack. The Duc de Blangis and his
brother the Bishop of X***, each of whom had thuswise amassed immense
fortunes, are in themselves solid proof that, like the others, the nobility
neglected no opportunities to take this road to wealth. These two
illustrious figures, through their pleasures and business closely
associated with the celebrated Durcet and the President de Curval, were the
first to hit upon the debauch we propose to chronicle, and having
communicated the scheme to their two friends, all four agreed to assume the
major roles in these unusual orgies.
For above six years these four libertines, kindred through their
wealth and tastes, had thought to strengthen their ties by means of
alliances in which debauchery had by far a heavier part than any of the
other motives that ordinarily serve as a basis for such bonds. What they
arranged was as follows: the Duc de Blangis, thrice a widower and sire of
two daughters one wife had given him, having noticed that the President de
Curval appeared interested in marrying the elder of these girls, despite
the familiarities he knew perfectly well her father had indulged in with
her, the Duc, I say, suddenly conceived the idea of a triple alliance.
"You want Julie for your wife," said he to Curval, "I give her to you
unhesitatingly and put but one condition to the match: that you'll not be
jealous when, although your wife, she continues to show me the same
complaisance she always has in the past; what is more, I'd have you lend
your voice to mine in persuading our good Durcet to give me his daughter
Constance, for whom, I must confess, I have developed roughly the same
feelings you have formed for Julie."
"But," said Curval, "you are surely aware that Durcet, just as
libertine as you..."
"I know all that's to be known," the Duc rejoined. "In this age, and
with our manner of thinking, is one halted by such things? do you think I
seek a wife in order to have a mistress? I want a wife that my whims may be
served, I want her to veil, to cover an infinite number of little secret
debauches the cloak of marriage wonderfully conceals. In a word, I want her
for the reasons you want my daughter - do you fancy I am ignorant of your
object and desires? We libertines wed women to hold slaves: as wives they
are rendered more submissive than mistresse, and you know the value we set
upon despotism in the joys we pursue."
It was at this point Durcet entered. His two friends related their
conversation and, delighted by an overture which promptly induced him to
avow the sentiments he too had conceived for Adelaide, the President's,
Durcet accepted the Duc as his son-in-law, provided he might become
Curval's. The three marriages were speedily concluded, the dowries were
immense, the wedding contracts identical.
No less culpable than his two colleagues, the President had admitted
to Durcet, who betrayed no displeasure upon learning it, that he maintained
a little clandestine commerce with his own daughter; the three fathers,
each wishing not only to preserve his rights, but noticing here the
possibility of extending them, commonly agreed that the three young ladies,
bound to their husbands by goods and homes only, would not in body belong
more to one than to any of them, and the severest punishments were
prescribed for her who should take it into her head not to comply with any
of the conditions whereunto she was subject.
They were on the eve of realizing their plan when the Bishop of X***,
already closebound through pleasure shared with his brother's two friends,
proposed contributing a fourth element to the alliance should the other
three gentlemen consent to his participation in the affair. This element,
the Duc's second daughter and hence the Bishop's niece, was already more
thoroughly his property than was generally imagined. He had effected
connections with his sister-in-law and the two brothers knew beyond all
shadow of doubt that the existence of this maiden, who was called Aline,
was far more accurately to be ascribed to the Bishop than to the Duc; the
former who, from the time she left the cradle, had taken the girl into his
keeping, had not, as one may well suppose, stood idle as the years brought
her charms to flower. And so, upon this head, he was his colleagues' equal,
and the article he offered to put on the market was in an equal degree
damaged or degraded; but as Aline's attractions and tender youth outshone
even those of her three companions, she was unhesitatingly made a part of
the bargain. As had the other three, the Bishop yielded her up, but
retained the rights to her use; and so each of our four characters thus
found himself husband to four wives. Thus there resulted an arrangement
which, for the reader's convenience, we shall recapitulate:
The Duc, Julie's father, became the husband of Constance, Durcet's
daughter;
Durcet, Constance's father, became the husband of Adelaide, the
President's daughter;
The President, Adelaide's father, became the husband of Julie, the
Duc's elder daughter;
And the Bishop, Aline's uncle and father, became the husband of the
other three females by ceding this same Aline to his friends, the while
retaining the same rights over her.
It was at a superb estate of the Duc, situated in the Bourbonnais,
that these happy matches were made, and I leave to the reader to fancy how
they were consummated and in what orgies; obliged as we are to describe
others, we shall forego the pleasure of picturing these.
Upon their return to Paris, our four friends' association became only
the firmer; and as our next task is to make the reader familiar with them,
before proceeding to individual and more searching developments, a few
details of their lubricious arrangements will serve, it seems to me, to
shed a preliminary light upon the character of these debauchees.
The society had created a common fund, which each of its members took
his turn administering for six months; the sums, allocated for nothing but
expenses in the interests of pleasure, were vast. Their excessive wealth
put the most unusual things within their reach, and the reader ought not be
surprised to hear that two million were annually disbursed to obtain good
cheer and lust's satisfaction.
Four accomplished procuresses to recruit women, and a similar number
of pimps to scout out men, had the sole duty to range both the capital and
the provinces and bring back everything, in the one gender and in the
other, that could best satisfy their sensuality's demands. Four supper
parties were held regularly every week in four different country houses
located at four extremities of Paris. At the first of these gatherings, the
one exclusively given over to the pleasures of sodomy, only men were
present; there would always be at hand sixteen young men, ranging in age
from twenty to thirty, whose immense faculties permitted our four heroes,
in feminine guise, to taste the most agreeable delights. The youths were
selected solely upon the basis of the size of their member, and it almost
became necessary that this superb limb be of such magnificence that it
could never have penetrated any woman; this was an essential clause, and as
naught was spared by way of expense, only very rarely would it fail to be
fulfilled. But simultaneously to sample every pleasure, to these sixteen
husbands was joined the same quantity of boys, much younger, whose purpose
was to assume the office of women. These lads were from twelve to eighteen
years old, and to be chosen for service each had to possess a freshness, a
face, graces, charms, an air, an innocence, a candor which are far beyond
what our brush could possibly paint. No woman was admitted to these
masculine orgies, in the course of which everything of the lewdest invented
in Sodom and Gomorrah was executed.
At the second supper were girls of superior class who, upon these
occasions forced to give up their proud ostentation and the customary
insolence of their bearing, were constrained, in return for their hire, to
abandon themselves to the most irregular caprices, and often even to the
outrages our libertines were pleased to inflict upon them. Twelve of these
girls would appear, and as Paris could not have furnished a fresh supply of
them as often as would have been necessary, these evenings were inters-
persed with others at which were admitted, only in the same number as the
well-bred ladies, women ranging from procuresses up through the class of
officers' wives. There are above four or five thousand in Paris who belong
to one or the other of the two latter classes and whom need or lust obliges
to attend soirees of this kind; one has but to have good agents to find
them, and our libertines, who were splendidly represented, would frequently
come across miraculous specimens. But it was in vain one was honest or a
decent woman, one had to submit everything: our Lordships' libertinage, of
a variety that never brooks limits, would overwhelm with horrors and
infamies whatever, whether by Nature or social convention, ought to have
been exempt from such ordeals. Once one was there, one had to be ready for
anything, and as our four villains had every taste that accompanies the
lowest, most crapulous debauch, this fundamental acquiescence to their
desires was not by any means a matter of inconsequence.
The guests at the third supper were the vilest, foulest creatures that
can possibly be met with. To him who has some acquaintance with
debauchery's extravagances, this refinement will appear wholly
understandable; 'tis most voluptuous to wallow, so to speak, in filth with
persons of this category; these exercises offer the completest abandon, the
most monstrous intemperance, the most total abasement, and these pleasures,
compared with those tasted the evening before, or with the distinguished
individuals in whose company we have tasted them, have a way of lending a
sharp spice to earlier activities. At these third suppers, debauch being
more thorough, nothing was omitted that might render it complex and
piquant. A hundred whores would appear in the course of six hours, and only
too often something less than the full hundred would leave the games. But
there is nothing to be gained by hurrying our story or by broaching
subjects which can only receive adequate treatment in the sequel.
As for the fourth supper, it was reserved for young maids; only those
between the ages of seven and fifteen were permitted. Their condition in
life was of no importance, what counted was their looks: they had to be
charming; as for their virginity, authentic evidence was required. Oh,
incredible refinement of libertinage! It was not, assuredly, that they
wished to pluck all those roses, and how indeed could they have done so?
for those untouched flowers were always a score in number, and of our four
libertines only two were capable of proceeding to the act, one of the
remaining two, the financier, being absolutely incapable of an erection,
and the Bishop being absolutely unable to take his pleasure save in a
fashion which, yes, I agree, may dishonor a virgin but which, however,
always leaves her perfectly intact. No matter; the twenty maiden-heads had
to be there, and those which were not impaired by our quartet of masters
became, before their eyes, the prey of certain of their valets just as
depraved as they, whom they kept constantly at beck and call for more than
one reason.
Apart from these four supper parties there was another, a secret and
private one held every Friday, involving many fewer persons but surely
costing a great deal more. The participants were restricted to four young
and high-born damsels who, by means of strategy and money, had been
abducted from their parents' homes. Our libertines' wives nearly always had
a share in this debauch, and their extreme submissiveness, their docile
attentions, their services made it more of a success each time. As for the
genial atmosphere at these suppers, it goes without saying that even
greater profusion than delicacy reigned there; not one of these meals cost
less than ten thousand francs, and neighboring countries as well as all
France were ransacked so that what was of the rarest and most exquisite
might be assembled together. Fine and abundant wines and liqueurs were
there, and even during the winter they had fruits of every season; in a
word, one may be certain that the table of the world's greatest monarch was
not dressed with as much luxury nor served with equal magnificence.
But now let us retrace our steps and do our best to portray one by one
each of our four heroes - to describe each not in terms of the beautiful,
not in a manner that would seduce or captivate the reader, but simply with
the brush strokes of Nature which, despite all her disorder, is often
sublime, indeed even when she is at her most depraved. For - and why not
say so in passing - if crime lacks the kind of delicacy one finds in
virtue, is not the former always more sublime, does it not unfailingly have
a character of grandeur and sublimity which surpasses, and will always make
it preferable to, the monotonous and lackluster charms of virtue? Will you
protest the greater usefulness of this or of that, is it for us to scan
Nature's laws, ours to determine whether, vice being just as necessary to
Nature as is virtue, she perhaps does not implant in us, in equal quantity,
the penchant for one or the other, depending upon her respective needs? But
let us proceed.
The Duc de Blangis, at eighteen the master of an already colossal
fortune which his later speculations much increased, experienced all the
difficulties which descend like a cloud of locusts upon a rich and
influental young man who need not deny himself anything; it almost always
happens in such cases that the extent of one's vices, and one stints
oneself that much less the more one has the means to procure oneself
everything. Had the Duc received a few elementary qualities from Nature,
they might possibly have counter-balanced the dangers which beset him in
his position, but this curious mother, who sometimes seems to collaborate
with chance in order that the latter may favor every vice she gives to
those certain beings of whom she expects attentions very different from
those virtue supposes, and this because she has just as much need of the
one as of the other, Nature, I say, in destining Blangis for immense
wealth, had meticulously endowed him with every impulse, every inspiration
required for its abuse. Together with a tenebrous and very evil mind, she
had accorded him a heart of flint and an utterly criminal soul, and these
were accompanied by the disorders in tastes and irregularity of whim whence
were born the dreadful libertinage to which the Duc was in no common
measure addicted. Born treacherous, harsh, imperious, barbaric, selfish as
lavish in the pursuit of pleasure as miserly when it were a question of
useful spending, a liar, a gourmand, a drunk, a dastard, a sodomite, fond
of incest, given to murdering, to arson, to theft, no, not a single virtue
compensated that host of vices. Why, what am I saying! not only did he
never so much as dream of a single virtue, he beheld them all with horror,
and he was frequently heard to say that to be truly happy in this world a
man ought not merely fling himself into every vice, but should never permit
himself one virtue, and that it was not simply a matter of always doing
evil, but also and above all of never doing good.
"Oh, there are plenty of people," the Duc used to observe, "who never
misbehave save when passion spurs them to ill; later, the fire gone out of
them, their now calm spirit peacefully returns to the path of virtue and,
thus passing their life going from strife to error and from error to
remorse, they end their days in such a way there is no telling just what
roles they have enacted on earth. Such persons," he would continue, "must
surely be miserable: forever drifting, continually undecided, their entire
life is spent detesting in the morning what they did the evening before.
Certain to repent of the pleasures they taste, they take their delight in
quaking, in such sort they become at once virtuous in crime and criminal in
virtue. However,"our hero would add, "my more solid character is a stranger
to these contradictions; I do my choosing without hesitation, and as I am
always sure to find pleasure in the choice I make, never does regret arise
to dull its charm. Firm in my principles because those I formed are sound
and were formed very early, I always act in accordance with them; they have
made me understand the emptiness and nullity of virtue; I hate virtue, and
never will I be seen resorting to it. They have persuaded me that through
vice alone is man capable of experiencing this moral and physical vibration
which is the source of the most delicious voluptuousness; so I give myself
over to vice. I was still very young when I learned to hold religion's
fantasies in contempt, being perfectly convinced that the existence of a
creator is a revolting absurdity in which not even children continue to
believe. I have no need to thwart my inclinations in order to flatter some
god; these instincts were given me by Nature, and it would be to irritate
her were I to resist them; if she gave me bad ones, that is because they
were necessary to her designs. I am in her hands but a machine which she
runs as she likes, and not one of my crimes does not serve her: the more
she urges me to commit them, the more of them she needs; I should be a fool
to disobey her. Thus, nothing but the law stands in my way, but I defy the
law, my gold and my prestige keep me well beyond reach of those vulgar
instruments of repression which should be employed only upon the common
sort." If one were to raise the objection that, nevertheless, all men
possess ideas of the just and the unjust which can only be the product of
Nature, since these notions are found in every people and even amongst the
uncivilized, the Duc would reply affirmatively, saying that yes, those
ideas have never been anything if not relative, that the stronger has
always considered exceedingly just what the weaker regarded as flagrantly
unjust, and that it takes no more than the mere reversal of their positions
for each to be able to change his way of thinking too; whence the Duc would
conclude that nothing is really just but what makes for pleasure, and what
is unjust is the cause of pain; that in taking a hundred louis from a man's
pocket, he was doing something very just for himself, although the victim
of the robbery might have to regard the action with another eye; that all
these notions therefore being very arbitrary, a fool he who would allow
himself to become their thrall. It was by means of arguments in this kind
the Duc used to justify his trans-gressions, and as he was a man of
greatest possible wit, his arguments had a decisive ring. And so, modeling
his conduct upon his philosophy, the Duc had, from his most tender youth,
abandoned himself unrestrainedly to the most shameful extravagances, and to
the most extraordinary ones. His father, having died young and, as I
indicated, left him in control of a huge fortune, had however stipulated in
his will that the young man's mother should, while she lived, be allowed to
enjoy a large share of this legacy. Such a condition was not in displeasing
Blangis: poison appearing to be the only way to avoid having to subscribe
to this article, the knave straightway decided to make use of it. But this
was the period when he was only making his first steps in a vicious career;
not daring to act himself, he brought one of his sisters, with whom he was
carrying on a criminal intrigue, to take charge of the execution, assuring
her that if she were to succeed, he would see to it that she would be the
beneficiary of that part of the fortune whereof death would deprive their
mother. However, the young lady was horrified by this proposal, and the
Duc, observing that this ill-confided secret was perhaps going to betray
him, decided on the spot to extend his plans to include the sister he had
hoped to have for an accomplice; he conducted both women to one of his
properties whence the two unfortunate ones never returned. Nothing quite
encourages as does one's first unpunished crime. This hurdle once cleared,
an open field seemed to beckon to the Duc. Immediately any person
whomsoever showed opposition to his desires, poison was employed forthwith.
From necessary murders he soon passed to those of pure pleasure; he was
captivated by that regrettable folly which causes us to find delight in the
sufferings of others; he noticed that a violent commotion inflicted upon
any kind of an adversary is answered by a vibrant thrill in our own nervous
system; the effect of this vibration, arousing the animal spirits which
flow within these nerves' con-cavities, obliges them to exert pressure on
the erector nerves and to produce in accordance with this perturbation what
is termed a lubricious sensation. Consequently, he set about committing
thefts and murders in the name of debauchery and libertinage, just as
someone else would be content, in order to inflame these same passions, to
chase a whore or two. At the age of twenty-three, he and three of his
companions in vice, whom he had indoctrinated with his philosophy, made up
a party whose aim was to go out and stop a public coach on the highway, to
rape the men among the travelers along with the women, to assassinate them
afterward, to make off with their victims' money (the conspirators
certainly had no need of this), and to be back that same night, all three
of them, at the Opera Ball in order to have a sound alibi. This crime took
place, ah, yes: two charming maids were violated and massacred in their
mother's arms; to this was joined an endless list of other horrors, and no
one dared suspect the Duc. Weary of the delightful wife his father had
bestowed upon him before dying, the young Blangis wasted no time uniting
her shade to his mother's, to his sister's, and to those of all his other
victims. Why all this? to be able to marry a girl, wealthy, to be sure, but
publicly dishonored and whom he knew full well was her brother's mistress.
The person in question was the mother of Aline, one of the figures in our
novel we mentioned above. This second wife, soon sacrificed like the first,
gave way to a third, who followed hard on the heels of the second. It was
rumored abroad that the Duc's huge construction was responsible for the
undoing of all his wives, and as this gigantic tale corresponded in every
point to its gigantic inspiration, the Duc let the opinion take root and
veil the truth. That dreadful colossus did indeed make one think of
Hercules or a centaur: Blangis stood five foot eleven inches tall, had
limbs of great strength and energy, powerful sinews, elastic nerves, in
addition to that a proud and masculine visage, great dark eyes, handsome
black eyelashes, an aquiline nose, fine teeth, a quality of health and
exuberance, broad shoulders, a heavy chest but a well-proportioned figure
withal, splendid hips, superb buttocks, the handsomest leg in the world, an
iron temperament, the strength of a horse, the member of a veritable mule,
wondrously hirsute, blessed with the ability to eject its sperm any number
of times within a given day and at will, even at the age of fifty, which
was his age at the time, a virtually constant erection in this member whose
dimensions were an exact eight inches for circumference and twelve for
length over-all, and there you have the portrait of the Duc de Blangis,
drawn as accurately as if you'd wielded the pencil yourself. But if this
masterpiece of Nature was violent in its desires, what was it like, Great
God! when crowned by drunken voluptuousness? 'Twas a man no longer, 'twas a
raging tiger. Woe unto him who happened then to be serving its passions;
frightful cries, atrocious blasphemies sprang from the Duc's swollen
breast, flames seemed to dart from his eyes, he foamed at the mouth, he
whinnied like a stallion, you'd have taken him for the very god of lust.
Whatever then was his manner of having his pleasure, his hands necessarily
strayed, roamed continually, and he had been more than once seen to
strangle woman to death at the instant of his perfidious discharge. His
presence of mind once restored, his frenzy was immediately replaced by the
most complete indifference to the infamies wherewith he had just indulged
himself, and of this indifference, of this kind of apathy, further sparks
of lechery would be born almost at once.
In his youth, the Duc had been known to discharge as often as eighteen
times a day, and that without appearing one jot more fatigued after the
final than after the initial ejaculation. Seven or eight crises within the
same interval still held no terrors for him, his half a century of years
notwithstanding. For roughly twenty-five years he had accustomed himself to
passive sodomy, and he withstood its assaults with the identical vigor
characterized his manner of delivering them actively when, the very next
moment, it pleased him to exchange roles. He had once wagered he could
sustain fifty-five attacks in a day, and so he had. Furnished, as we have
pointed out, with prodigious strength, he needed only one hand to violate a
girl, and he had proved it upon several occasions. One day he boasted he
could squeeze the life out of a horse with his legs; he mounted the beast,
it collapsed at the instant he had predicted. His prowess at the table
outshone, if that is possible, what he demonstrated upon the bed. There's
no imagining what had come to be the quantity of the food he consumed. He
regularly ate three meals a day, and they were all three exceedingly
prolonged and exceedingly copious, and it was as nothing to him to toss
down his usual ten bottles of Burgundy; he had drunk up to thirty, and
needed but to be challenged and he would set out for the mark of fifty; but
his intoxication taking on the tinge of his passions, and liqueurs or wines
having heated his brain, he would wax furious, and they would be obliged to
tie him down. And despite all that, would you believe it? a steadfast child
might have hurled this giant into a panic; true indeed it is that the
spirit often poorly corresponds with the fleshy sheath enveloping it: as
soon as Blangis discovered he could no longer use his treachery or his
deceit to make away with his enemy, he would become timid and cowardly, and
the mere thought of even the mildest combat, but fought on equal terms,
would have sent him fleeing to the ends of the earth. He had nevertheless,
in keeping with custom, been in one or two campaigns, but had acquitted
himself so disgracefully he had retired from the service at once.
Justifying his turpitude with equal amounts of cleverness and effrontery,
he loudly proclaimed that his poltroonery being nothing other than the
desire to preserve himself, it were perfectly impossible for anyone in his
right senses to condemn it for a fault.
Keep in mind the identical moral traits; next, adapt them to an entity
from the physical point of view infinitely inferior to the one we just
described; there you have the portrait of the Bishop of X***, the Duc de
Blangis' brother. The same black soul, the same penchant for crime, the
same contempt for religion, the same atheism, the same deception and
cunning, a yet more supple and adroit mind, however, and more art in
guiding his victims to their doom, but a slender figure, not heavy, no, a
little thin body, wavering health, very delicate nerves, a greater
fastidiousness in the pursuit of pleasure, mediocre prowess, a most
ordinary member, even small, but deft, profoundly skilled in management,
each time yielding so little that his incessantly inflamed imagination
would render him capable of tasting delight quite as frequently as his
brother; his sensations were of a remarkable acuteness, he would experience
an irritation so prodigious he would often fall into a deep swoon upon
discharging, and he almost always temporarily lost consciousness when doing
so.
He was forty-five, had delicate features, rather attractive eyes but a
foul mouth and ugly teeth, a hairless pallid body, a small but well-shaped
ass, and a prick five inches around and six in length. An idolater of
active and passive sodomy, but eminently of the latter, he spent his life
having himself buggered, and this pleasure, which never requires much
expense of energy, was best suited to the modesty of his means. We will
speak of his other tastes in good time. With what regards those of the
table, he carried them nearly as far as the Duc, but went about the matter
with somewhat more sensuality. Monseigneur, no less a criminal than his
elder brother, possessed characteristics which had doubtless permitted him
to match the celebrated feats of the hero we painted a moment ago; we will
content ourselves with citing one of them, 'twill be enough to make the
reader see of what such a man may be capable, and what he was prepared and
disposed to do, having done the following:
One of his friends, a man powerful and rich, had formerly had an
intrigue with a young noblewoman who had borne him two children, a girl and
a boy. He had, however, never been able to wed her, and the maiden had
become another's wife. The unlucky girl's lover died while still young, but
the owner howbeit of a tremendous fortune; having no kin to provide for, it
occurred to him to bequeath all he had to the two ill-fated children his
affair had produced.
On his deathbed, he made the Bishop privy to his intentions and
entrusted him with these two immense endowments: he divided the sum, put
them in two purses, and gave them to the Bishop, confiding the two orphans'
education to this man of God and enlisting him to pass on to each what was
to be his when they attained their majority. At the same time he enjoyed
the prelate to invest his wards' funds, so that in the meantime they would
double in size. He also affirmed that it was his design to leave his
offsprings' mother in eternal ignorance of what he was doing for them, and
he absolutely insisted that none of this should ever be mentioned to her.
These arrangements concluded, the dying man closed his eyes, and
Monseigneur found himself master of about a million in banknotes, and of
two children. The scoundrel was not long deliberating his next step: the
dying man had spoken to no one but him, the mother was to know nothing, the
children were only four or five years old. He circulated the intelligence
that his friend, upon expiring, had left his fortune to the poor; the
rascal acquired it the same day. But to ruin those wretched children did
not suffice; furnished with authority by their father, the Bishop - who
never committed one crime without instantly conceiving another - had the
children removed from the remote pension in which they were being brought
up, and placed them under the roof of certain people in his hire, from the
outset having resolved soon to make them serve his perfidious lust. He
waited until they were thirteen; the little boy was the first to arrive at
that age: the Bishop put him to use, bent him to all his debauches, and as
he was extremely pretty, sported with him for a week. But the little girl
fared less well: she reached the prescribed age, but was very ugly, a fact
which had no mitigating effect upon the good Bishop's lubricious fury. His
desires appeased, he feared lest these children, left alive, would someday
discover something of the secret of their interests. Therefore, he
conducted them to an estate belonging to his brother and, sure of
recapturing, by means of a new crime, the sparks of lechery enjoyment had
just caused him to lose, he immolated both of them to his ferocious
passions, and accompanied their death with episodes so piquant and so cruel
that his voluptuousness was reborn in the midst of the torments wherewith
he beset them. The thing is, unhappily, only too well known: there is no
libertine at least a little steeped in vice who is not aware of the great
sway murder exerts over the senses, and how voluptuously it determines a
discharge. And that is a general truth whereof it were well the reader be
early advised before undertaking the perusal of a work which will surely
attempt an ample development of this system.
Henceforth at ease in the face of whatever might transpire,
Monseigneur returned to Paris to enjoy the fruit of his misdeeds, and
without the least qualms about having counteracted the intentions of a man
who, in his present situation, was in no state to derive either pain or
pleasure therefrom.
The President de Curval was a pillar of society; almost sixty years of
age, and worn by debauchery to a singular degree, he offered the eye not
much more than a skeleton. He was tall, he was dry, thin, had two blue
lusterless eyes, a livid and unwholesome mouth, a prominent chin, a long
nose. Hairy as a satyr, flat-backed, with slack, drooping buttocks that
rather resembled a pair of dirty rags flapping upon his upper thighs; the
skin of those buttocks was, thanks to whipstrokes, so deadened and
toughened that you could seize up a handful and knead it without his
feeling a thing. In the center of it all there was displayed - no need to
spread those cheeks - an immense orifice whose enormous diameter, odor, and
color bore a closer resemblance to the depths of a well-freighted privy
than to an asshole; and, crowning touch to these allurements, there was
numbered among this sodomizing pig's little idiosyncrasies that of always
leaving this particular part of himself in such a state of uncleanliness
that one was at all times able to observe there a rim or pad a good two
inches thick. Below a belly as wrinkled as it was livid and gummy, one
perceived, within a forest of hairs, a tool which, in its erectile
condition, might have been about eight inches long and seven around; but
this condition had come to be the most rare and to procure it a furious
sequence of things was the necessary preliminary. Nevertheless, the event
occurred at least two or three times each week, and upon these occasions
the President would glide into every hole to be found, indiscriminately,
although that of a young lad's behind was infinitely the most precious to
him. The head of the President's device was now at all times exposed, for
he had had himself circumcised, a ceremony which largely facilitates
enjoyment and to which all pleasure-loving persons ought to submit. But one
of the purposes of the same operation is to keep this privity cleaner;
nothing of the sort in Curval's case: this part of him was just as filthy
as the other: this uncapped head, naturally quite thick to begin with, was
thus made at least an inch ampler in circumference. Similarly untidy about
all the rest of his person, the President, who furthermore had tastes at
the very least as nasty as his appearance, had become a figure whose rather
malodorous vicinity might not have succeeded in pleasing everyone. However,
his colleagues were not at all of the sort to be scandalized by such
trifles, and they simply avoided discussing the matter with him. Few
mortals had been as free in their behavior or as debauches as the
President; but, entirely jaded, absolutely besotted, all that remained to
him was the depravation and lewd profligacy of libertinage. Above three
hours of excess, and of the most outrageous excess, were needed before one
could hope to inspire a voluptous reaction in him. As for his emission,
although in Curval the phenomenon was far more frequent than erection, and
could be observed once every day, it was, all the same, so difficult to
obtain, or it never occurred save as an aftermath to things so strange and
often so cruel or so unclean, that the agents of his pleasure not
uncommonly renounced the struggle, fainting by the wayside, the which would
give birth in him to a kind of lubricious anger and this, through its
effects, would now and again triumph where his efforts had failed. Curval
was to such a point mired down in the morass of vice and libertinage that
it had become virtually impossible for him to think or speak of anything
else. He unendingly had the most appalling expressions in his mouth, just
as he had the vilest designs in his heart, and these with surpassing energy
he mingled with blasphemies and imprecations supplied him by his true
horror, a sentiment he shared with his companions, for everything that
smacked of religion. This disorder of mind, yet further augmented by the
almost continual intoxication in which he was fond of keeping himself, had
during the past few years given him an air of imbecility and prostration
which, he would declare, made for his most cherished delight.
Born as great a gourmand as a drunk, he alone was fit to keep abreast
of the Duc, and in the course of this tale we will behold him to perform
wonders which will no doubt astonish the most veteran eaters.
It had been ten years since Curval had ceased to discharge his
judicial duties; it was not simply that he was no longer fit to carry them
out, but I even believe that while he had been, he may have been asked to
leave these matters alone for the rest of his life.
Curval had led a very libertine life, every sort of perversion was
familiar to him, and those who knew him personally had the strong suspicion
he owed his vast fortune to nothing other than two or three murders.
However that may be, it is, in the light of the following story, highly
probable that this variety of extravagance had the power to stir him
deeply, and it is this adventure, which attracted some unfortunate
publicity, that was responsible for his exclusion from the Court. We are
going to relate the episode in order to give the reader an idea of his
character.
There dwelled in the neighborhood of Curval's town house a miserable
street porter who, the father of a charming little girl, was ridiculous
enough to be a person of sensibility. Twenty messages of every kind had
already arrived containing proposals relating to the poor fellow's
daughter; he and his wife had remained unshaken despite this barrage aimed
at their corruption, and Curval, the source of these embassies, only
irritated by the growing number of refusals they had evoked, knew not what
tack to take in order to get his hands upon the girl and to subject her to
his libidinous caprices, until it struck to him that by simply having the
father broken he would lead the daughter to his bed. The thing was as
nicely conceived as executed. Two or three bullies in the President's pay
intervened in the suit, and before the month was out, the wretched porter
was enmeshed in an imaginary crime which seemed to have been committed at
his door and which got him speedily lodged in one of the Conciergerie's
dungeons. The President, as one would expect, soon took charge of the case,
and, having no desire to permit it to drag on, arranged in the space of
three days, thanks to his knavery and his gold, to have the unlucky porter
condemned to be broken on the wheel, without the culprit ever having
committed any crime but that of wishing to preserve his honor and safeguard
his daughter's.
Meanwhile, the solicitations were renewed. The mother was brought in,
it was explained to her that she alone had it in her power to save her
husband, that if she were to satisfy the President, what could be clearer
than that he would thereupon snatch her husband from the dreadful fate
awaiting him. Further hesitation was impossible; the woman made inquiries;
Curval knew perfectly well to whom she addressed herself, the counsels were
his creatures, and they gave her unambiguous replies: she ought not waste a
moment. The poor woman herself brought her daughter weeping to her judge's
feet; the latter could not have been more liberal with his promises, nor
have been less eager to keep his word. Not only did he fear lest, were he
to deal honorably and spare the husband, the man might go and raise an
uproar upon discovering the price that had been paid to save his life, but
the scoundrel even found a further delight, a yet keener one, in arranging
to have himself given what he wished without being obliged to make any
return.
This thought led to others; numerous criminal possibilities entered
his head, and their effect was to increase his perfidious lubricity. And
this is how he set about the matter so as to put the maximum of infamy and
piquancy into the scene:
His mansion stood facing a spot where criminals are sometimes executed
in Paris, and as this particular offense had been committed in that quarter
of the city, he won assurance the punishment would be meted out on this
particular square. The wretch's wife and daughter arrived at the
President's home at the appointed hour; all windows overlooking the square
were well shuttered, so that, from the apartments where he amused himself
with his victims, nothing at all could be seen of what was going on
outside. Apprised of the exact minute of the execution, the rascal selected
it for the deflowering of the little girl who was held in her mother's
arms, and everything was so happily arranged that Curval discharged into
the child's ass the moment her father expired. Instantly he'd completed his
business, "Come have a look," quoth he, opening a window looking upon the
square, "come see how well I've kept my bargain," and one of his two
princesses saw her father, the other her husband, delivering up his soul to
the headsman's steel.
Both collapsed in a faint, but Curval had provided for everything:
this swoon was their agony, they'd both been poisoned, and nevermore opened
their eyes. Notwithstanding the precautions he had taken to swathe the
whole of this exploit in the most profound mystery, something did indeed
transpire: nothing was known of the women's death, but there existed a
lively suspicion he had been untruthful in connection with the husband's
case. His motive was half-known, and his eventual retirement from the bench
was the outcome. As of this moment, no longer having to maintain
appearances, Curval flung himself into a new ocean of errors and crimes. He
sent everywhere for victims to sacrifice to the perversity of his tastes.
Through an atrocious refinement of cruelty, but one, however, very easily
understood, the downtrodden classes were those upon which he most enjoyed
hurling the effects of his raging perfidy. He had several minions who were
abroad night and day, scouring attics and hovels, tracking down whatever of
the most destitute misery might be able to provide, and under the pretext
of dispensing aid, either he envenomed his catch - to give poison was one
of his most delectable pastimes - or he lured it to his house and slew it
upon the altar of his perverse preferences. Men, women, children: anything
was fuel to his rage, and at its bidding he performed excesses which would
have got his head between block and blade a thousand times over were it not
for the silver he distributed and the esteem he enjoyed, factors whereby he
was a thousand times protected. One may well imagine such a being had no
more religion than his two confreres; he without doubt detested it as
sovereignly as they, but in years past had done more to wither it in
others, for, in the days when his mind had been sound, it had also been
clever, and he had put it to good use writing against religion; he was the
author of a several works whose influence had been prodigious, and these
successes, always present in his memory, still constituted one of his
dearest delights.
The more we multiply the objects of our enjoyments...(the portrait of
Durcet)
(a) ...the years of a sickly childhood.
Durcet is fifty-three; he is small, short, broad, thickset; an
agreeable, hearty face; a very white skin; his entire body, and principally
his hips and buttocks, absolutely like a woman's; his ass is cool and
fresh, chubby, firm, and dimpled, but excessively agape, owing to the habit
of sodomy; his prick is extraordinarily small, 'tis scarcely two inches
around, no more than four inches long; it has entirely ceased to stiffen;
his discharges are rare and uneasy, far from abundant and always preceded
by spasms which hurl him into a kind of furor which, in turn, conducts him
to crime; he has a chest like a woman's, a sweet, pleasant voice and, when
in society, the best-bred manners, although his mind is without question as
depraved as his colleagues'; a schoolmate of the Duc, they still sport
together every day, and one of Durcet's loftiest pleasures is to have his
anus tickled by the Duc's enormous member.
And such, dear reader, are the four villains in whose company I am
going to have you pass a few months. I have done my best to describe them;
if, as I have wished, I have made you familiar with even their most secret
depths, nothing in the tale of their various follies will astonish you. I
have not been able to enter into minute detail with what regards their
tastes - to have done so now would have been to impair the value and to
harm the main scheme of this work. But as we move progressively along, you
will have but to keep an attentive eye upon our heroes, and you'll have no
trouble discerning their characteristic peccadillos and the particular type
of voluptuous mania which best suits each of them. Roughly all we can say
at the present time is that they were generally susceptible of an
enthusiasm for sodomy, that the four of them had themselves buggered
regularly, and that they all four worshiped behinds.
The Duc, however, relative to the immensity of his weapon and,
doubtless, more through cruelty than from taste, still fucked cunts with
the greatest pleasure.
So also did the President, but less frequently.
As for the Bishop, such was his supreme loathing for them the mere
sight of one might have kept him limp for six months. He had never in all
his life fucked but one, that belonging to his sister-in-law, and expressly
to beget a child wherewith some day to procure himself the pleasures of
incest; we have seen how well he succeeded.
As regards Durcet, he certainly idolized the ass with as much fervor
as the Bishop, but his enjoyment of it was more accessory; his favorite
attacks were directed toward a third sanctuary - this mystery will be
unveiled in the sequel. But on with the portraits essential to the
intelligence of this work, and let us now give our reader an idea of these
worthy husbands' four wives.
What a contrast! Constance, the Duc's wife and the daughter of Durcet,
was a tall woman, slender, lovely as a picture, and modeled as if the
Graces had taken pleasure in embellishing her, but the elegance of her
figure in no way detracted from her freshness, she was not for that the
less plumpy fleshed, and the most delicious forms graced by a skin fairer
than the lily, often induced one to suppose that, no, it had been Love
itself who had undertaken her formation. Her face was a trifle long, her
features wonderfully noble, more majesty than gentleness was in her look,
more grandeur than subtlety. Her eyes were large, black, and full of fire;
her mouth extremely small and ornamented by the finest teeth imaginable,
she had a narrow, supple tongue, of the loveliest pink, and her breath was
sweeter still than the scent of a rose. She was full-breasted, her bosom
was buxom, fair as alabaster and as firm. Her back was turned in an
extraordinary way, its lines sweeping deliciously down to the most
artistically and the most precisely cleft ass Nature has produced in a long
time. Nothing could have been more perfectly round, not very large, but
firm, white, dimpled; and when it was opened, what used to peep out but the
cleanest, most winsome, most delicate hole. A nuance of tenderest pink had
shaded this ass, charming asylum of lubricity's sweetest pleasures, but,
great God! it was not for long to preserve so many charms! Four or five
attacks, and the Duc had spoiled all those graces, how quickly had they
gone, and soon after her marriage Constance was become no more than the
image of a beautiful lily wherefrom the tempest has of late stripped the
petals away. Two round and perfectly molded thighs supported another
temple, in all likehood less delicious, but, to inclined to worship there,
offering so many allurements it would be in vain were my pen to strive to
describe them. Constance was almost a virgin when the Duc married her, and
her father, the only man who had known her, had, as they say, left that
side of her perfectly intact. The most beautiful black hair - falling in
natural curls to below her shoulders and, when one wished it thus, reaching
down to the pretty fur, of the same color, which shaded that voluptuous
little cunt - made for a further adornment I might have been guilty of
omitting, and lent this angelic creature, aged about twenty-two, all the
charms Nature is able to lavish upon a woman. To all these amenities
Constance joined a fair and agreeable wit, a spirit somewhat more elevated
than it ought to have been, considering the melancholy situation fate had
awarded her, for thereby she was enabled to sense all its horrors and,
doubtless, she would have been happier if furnished with less delicate
perceptions.
Durcet, who had raised her more as if she were a courtesan than his
daughter, and who had been much more concerned to give her talents than
manners, had all the same never been able totally to destroy the principles
of rectitude and of virtue it seemed Nature had been pleased to engrave in
her heart. She had no formal religion, no one had ever mentioned such a
thing to her, the exercise of a belief was not to be tolerated in her
father's household, but all that had not blotted out this modesty, this
natural humility which has nothing to do with theological chimeras, and
which, when it dwells in an upright, decent, and sensitive soul, is very
difficult to obliterate. Never had she stepped out of her father's house,
and the scoundrel had forced her, beginning at the age of twelve, to serve
his crapulous pleasures. She found a world of difference in those the Duc
imbided with her, her body was noticeably altered by those formidable
dimensions, and the day after the Duc had despoiled her of her maidenhead,
sodomistically speaking, she had fallen dangerously ill. They believed her
rectum had been irreparably damaged; but her youth, her health, and some
salutary local remedies soon restored the use of that forbidden avenue to
the Duc, and the luckless Constance, forced to accustom herself to this
daily torture, and it was but one amongst others, entirely recovered and
became adjusted to everything.
Adelaide, Durcet's wife and the daughter of the President, had a
beauty which was perhaps superior to Constance's, but of an entirely
different sort. She was twenty, small and slender, of an extremely slight
and delicate build, of classic loveliness, had the finest blond hair to be
seen. An interesting air, a look of sensibility distributed everywhere
about her, and above all in her features, gave her the quality of a heroine
in a romance. Her exceptionally large eyes were blue, they expressed at
once tenderness and decency; two long but narrow and remarkably drawn
eyebrows adorned a forehead not very high but of such noble charm one might
have thought this were modesty's very temple. Her nose, thin, a little
pinched at the top, descended to assume a semi-aquiline contour; her lips
inclined toward the thin, were of a bright, ripe red; a little large, her
mouth was the unique flaw in this celestial physiognomy, but when it
opened, there shone thirty-two pearls Nature seemed to have sown amidst
roses. Her neck was a shade long, attached in a singular way, through what
one judged a natural habit, her head was ever so faintly bent toward her
right shoulder, especially when she was listening; but with what grace did
not this interesting attitude endow her! Her breasts were small, very
round, very firm, well-elevated, but there was barely enough there to fill
the hand. They were like two little apples a frolicking Cupid had fetched
hither from his mother's garden. Her chest was a bit narrow, it was also a
very delicate chest, her belly was satin smooth, a little blond mound not
much garnished with hair served as peristyle to the temple in which Venus
seemed to call out for an homage. This temple was narrow to such a point
you could not insert a finger therein without eliciting a cry from
Adelaide; nevertheless, two lustrums had revolved since the time when,
thanks to the President, the poor child had ceased to be a virgin, either
in that place or in the delicious part it remains for us to sketch. Oh,
what were the attractions this second sanctuary possessed, what a flow in
the line of her back, how magnificently were those buttocks cut, what
whiteness there, and what dazzling rose blush! But all on all, it was on
the small side. Delicate in all her lines, she was rather the sketch than
the model of beauty, it seemed as though Nature had only wished to indicate
in Adelaide what she had so majestically articulated in Constance. Peer
into that appetizing behind, and lo! a rosebud would offer itself to your
gaze, and it was in all its bloom and in the most tender pink Nature wished
you to behold it; but narrow? tiny? it had only been at the price of
infinite labors the President had navigated through those straits, and he
had only renewed these assaults successfully two or three times.
Durcet, less exacting, gave her little affliction in this point, but,
since becoming his wife, in exchange for how many other cruel
complaisances, with what a quantity of other perilous submissions had she
not been obliged to purchase this little kindness? And, furthermore, turned
over to the four libertines, as by their mutual consent she was, how many
other cruel ordeals had she not to undergo, both of the species Durcet
spared her, and of every other.
Adelaide had the mind her face suggested, that is to say, an extremely
romantic mind, solitary places were the ones she preferred, and once there,
she would shed involuntary tears - tears to which we do not pay sufficient
heed - tears apparently torn from Nature by foreboding. She was recently
bereft of a friend, a girl she idolized, and this frightful loss constantly
haunted her imagination. As she was thoroughly acquainted with her father,
as she knew to what extents he carried his wild behavior, she was persuaded
her young friend had fallen prey to the President's villainies, for he had
never managed to induce the missing person to accord him certain
privileges. The thing was not unlikely. Adelaide imagined the same would
someday befall her; nor was that improbable. The President, in her regard,
had not paid the same attention to the problem of religion Durcet had in
the interests of Constance, no, he had allowed all that nonsense to be
born, to be fomented, supposing that his writings and his discourses would
easily destroy it. He was mistaken: religion is the nourishment upon which
a soul such as Adelaide's feeds. In vain the President had preached, in
vain he had made her read books, the young lady had remained a believer,
and all these extravagances, which she did not share, which she hated, of
which she was the victim, fell far short of disabusing her about illusions
which continued to make for her life's happiness. She would go and hide
herself to pray to God, she'd perform Christian duties on the sly, and was
unfailingly and very severely punished, either by her father or her
husband, when surprised in the act by the one or the other.
Adelaide patiently endured it all, fully convinced Heaven would
someday reward her. Her character was as gentle as her spirit, and her
benevolence, one of the virtues for which her father most detested her,
went to the point of extreme. Curval, whom that vile class of the poverty-
stricken irritated, sought only to humiliate it, to further depress it, or
to wring victims from it; his generous daughter, on the other hand, would
have foregone her own necessities to procure them for the poor, and she had
often been espied stealing off to take to the needy sums which were
intended for her pleasures. Durcet and the President finally succeeded in
scolding and pounding good manners into her, and in ridding her of this
corrupt practice by withholding absolutely all means whereby she could
resume it. Adelaide, having nothing left but her tears to bestow upon the
poor, went none the less to sprinkle them upon their woes, and her
powerless howbeit staunchly sensitive spirit was incapable of ceasing to be
virtuous. One day she learned that some poor woman was to come to
prostitute her daughter to the President because extreme need bade her do
so; the enchanted old rake was already preparing himself for the kind of
pleasure-taking he liked best. Adelaide had one of her dresses sold and
immediately got the money put it in the mother's hands; by means of this
small assistance and some sort of a sermon, she diverted the woman from the
she was about to commit. Hearing of what she had done, the President
proceeded to such violences with her - his daughter was not yet married at
the time - that she was a fortnight abed; but all that was to no avail:
nothing could put a stop to this gentle soul's tender impulses.
Julie, the President's wife, the Duc's elder daughter, would have
eclipsed the two preceding women were it not for something which many
behold as a capital defect, but which had perhaps in itself aroused
Curval's passion for her, so true it is that the effects of passion are
unpredictable, nay, inconceivable, and that their disorder, the outcome of
disgust and satiety, can only be matched by their irregular flights. Julie
was tall, well made although quite fat and fleshy, had the most lovely
brown eyes in the world, a charming nose, striking and gracious features,
the most beautiful chestnut brown hair, a fair body of the most appetizing
fullness, an ass which might easily have served as model to the one
Praxiteles sculpted, her cunt was hot, strait, and yielded as agreeable a
sensation as such a locale ever may; her legs were handsome, her feet
charming, but she had the worst-decked mouth, the foulest teeth, and was by
habit so dirty in every other part of her body, and principally at the two
temples of lubricity, that no other being, let me repeat it, no other being
but the President, himself subject to the same shortcomings and
unquestionably fond of them, nay, no one else, despite her allurements,
could have put up with Julie. Curval, however, was mad about her; his most
divine pleasures were gathered upon that stinking mouth, to kiss it plunged
him into delirium, and as for her natural uncleanliness, far from rebuking
her for it, to the contrary he encouraged her in it, and had finally got
her accustomed to a perfect divorce from water. To these faults Julie added
a few others, but they were surely less disagreeable: she was a vast eater,
she had a leaning toward drunkenness, little virtue, and I believe that had
she dared try it, whoredom would have held little by way of terror for her.
Brought up by the Duc in a total abandon of principles and manners, she
adopted a whore's philosophy, and she was probably an apt student of all
its tenets; but, through yet another very curious effect of libertinage, it
often happens that a woman who shares our faults pleases us a great deal
less in our pleasures than one who is full of naught but virtues: the first
resembles us, we scandalize her not; the other is terrified, and there is
one very certain charm more.
Despite his proportions, the Duc had sported with his daughter, but he
had had to wait until she was fifteen, and even so had not been able to
prevent Julie from being considerably damaged by the adventure, indeed, so
much so that, eager to marry her off, he had been forced to put a term to
pleasure-taking of this variety and to be content with delights less
dangerous for her, but at least as fatiguing. Julie gained little by
gaining the President, whose prick, as we know, was exceedingly thick and,
furthermore, however much she was dirty from neglect of herself, she could
not in any wise keep up with a filthiness in debauch such as the one that
distinguished the President, her beloved spouse.
Aline, Julie's younger sister and really the daughter of the Bishop,
possessed habits and defects and a character very unlike her sister's.
She was the most youthful of the four, she had just become eighteen;
she had a fetching, exuberantly healthy, and almost pert little
countenance; a little turned-up nose; brown eyes full of expression and
vivacity; a delicious mouth; a most shapely though somewhat tall figure,
well-fleshed; the skin a bit dark but soft and fine; ass rather on the
ample side but well-molded, a pair of the most voluptuous buttocks that
ever a libertine eye may behold, the love mound brown-haired and pretty,
the cunt a trifle low or, as they say, à l'anglaise, but as tight as one
might wish, and when she was presented to the assembly she was thoroughly a
maid. And she still was at the time the party we are to chronicle got under
way, and we shall see in what manner her maidenhead was annihilated. As for
the first fruits of her ass, the Bishop had been peacefully plucking them
every day for the past eight years, but without, however, arousing in his
dear daughter much of a taste for these exercises: she, despite her
mischievous and randy air, only cooperated out of obedience and had never
hinted that she shared the slightest pleasure in the infamies whose daily
victim she was. The Bishop had left her in the most profound ignorance,
scarcely did she know how to read or write, and she had absolutely no idea
of religion's existence; her mind was natural, it was that of a child, she
would give droll replies, she liked to play, she loved her sister a great
deal, detested the Bishop out of all measure, and feared the Duc as she
dreaded fire. On the wedding day, when she discovered herself naked and
surrounded by the four men, she wept, and moreover did all that was asked
of her, actin
nip said @ 2:36am GMT on 11th Jan
succinct.
Mr. Langosta said @ 3:39pm GMT on 13th Jan [Score:-1 Overrated]
g without pleasure as without ill-temper. She was sober, very
clean, and having no other fault but that of laziness, nonchalance reigned
in all her movements and doings and everywhere about her person, despite
the liveliness announced by her bright eyes. She abhorred the President
almost as much as she hated her uncle, and Durcet, who treated her with no
excess of consideration, nevertheless seemed to be the only one for whom
she appeared to have no repugnance.
These were the eight principal characters in whose company we are
going to enable you to live, good reader. It is now time to divulge the
object of singular pleasures that were proposed.
It is commonly accepted amongst authentic libertines that the
sensations communicated by the organs of hearing are the most flattering
and those impressions are the liveliest; as a consequence, our four
villains, who were of a mind to have voluptuousness implant itself in the
very core of their beings as deeply and as overwhelmingly as ever it could
penetrate, had, to this end, devised something quite clever indeed.
It was this: after having immured themselves within everything that
was best able to satisfy the senses through lust, after having established
this situation, the plan was to have described to them, in the greatest
detail and in due order, every one of debauchery's extravagances, all its
divagations, all its ramifications, all its contingencies, all of what is
termed in libertine language its passions. There is simply no conceiving
the degree to which man varies them when his imagination grows inflamed;
excessive may be the differences between men that is created by all their
other manias, by all their other tastes, but in this case it is even more
so, and he who should succeed in isolating and categorizing and detailing
these follies would perhaps perform one of the most splendid labors which
might be undertaken in the study of manners, and perhaps one of the most
interesting. It would thus be a question of finding some individuals
capable of providing an account of all these excesses, then of analyzing
them, of extending them, of itemizing them, of graduating them, and of
running a story through it all, to provide coherence and amusement. Such
was the decision adopted. After innumerable inquiries and investigations,
they located four women who had attained their prime - that was necessary,
experience was the fundamental thing here - four women, I say, who, having
spent their lives in the most furious debauchery, had reached the state
where they could provide an exact account of all these matters; and, as
care had been taken to select four endowed with a certain eloquence and a
fitting turn of mind, after much discussion, recording, and arranging, all
four were ready to insert, each into the adventures of her life, all the
most extraordinary vagaries of debauch, and to do so in such an order and
at such a pace that the first, for example, would work into the tale of her
life's activities the one hundred and fifty simple passions and the least
esoteric or most ordinary deviations; the second, within the same
framework, an equal number of more unusual passions involving one or more
men with one or several women; the third was also to introduce into her
narration one hundred and fifty of the most criminal whimsies and those
which most outrage the laws of both Nature and religion; and as all these
excesses lead to murder and as these murders committed through libertinage
are infinitely various and are just as numerous as the occasions upon which
the libertine's inflamed imagination adopts different tortures, the fourth
was to adorn the events of her life with a meticulous report upon one
hundred and fifty assorted examples of them. In the meantime, our
libertines, surrounded, as at the outset I indicated, by their wives and
also by other objects in every kind, were to pay close heed, were to be
mentally heated, and were to end by extinguishing, by means of either their
wives or those various objects, the conflagration the storytellers were to
have lit. There is surely nothing more voluptuous in this project than the
luxurious manner whereby it was carried out, and they are both this manner
and these several recitations which are to compose this work; wherewith,
having said this much, I advise the overmodest to lay my book aside at once
if he would not be scandalized, for 'tis already clear there's not much of
the chaste in our plan, and we dare hold ourselves answerable in advance
that there'll be still less in its execution. Insomuch as the four
actresses we have been speaking of play a most essential role in these
memoirs, we believe, even were we to have to beg the reader's forgiveness
therefor, we should still feel obliged to describe them; they will narrate,
they will act: such being the case, is it possible that they remain
unknown? Banish all expectation of beauties portrayed, although there were
doubtless in the plans provisions for employing these four creatures
physically as well as morally; be that as it may, neither their charms nor
their years were the deciding factors, but rather their minds and their
experience only that counted, and with what regards the latter, our friends
could not possibly have made better choices.
Madame Duclos was she to whom they entrusted the relating of the one
hundred and fifty simple passions; the woman who went by this name was
forty-eight years of age, still in fairly good condition and preserving the
vestiges of beauty; she had very handsome eyes, an exceedingly fair skin,
and one of the most splendid and plumpest asses that could ever favor your
gaze; a mouth both clean and fresh, superb breasts, and pretty brown hair,
a heavy figure but a noble one, and all the looks and tone of a brilliant
whore. She had spent her life, as shall be observed, in places and under
circumstances where indeed she had been obliged to study what she is going
to relate, and to see her was to realize she must have gone to the task
with wit and verve, with ease and interest.
Madame Champville was a tall woman about fifty, slender, well made,
having the most voluptuous quality in her look and bearing; a faithful
devotee of Sappho, she had that kind of expression even in her slightest
movements, in her simplest gestures, in her least words. She had ruined
herself for the sake of keeping girls and, had it not been for this
predilection to which she generally sacrified everything she was able to
earn abroad, she might have been comfortably well to do. For a long time
she had been in public service, and during recent years had been making her
way as an outfitter in her turn, but had confined herself to a limited
practice, her clients being reliable rakehells of a certain age; never did
she receive young men, and this prudent conduct was lucrative and did
something to improve her affairs. She had been blond, but a more venerable
tint, and that of wisdom, was beginning to color her hair; her eyes were
still exceedingly attractive, blue, and they contained a most agreeable
expressiveness. Her mouth was lovely, still fresh, missing no teeth as yet,
she was flat-chested but had a belly which was good, but had never aroused
envy, her mound was rather prominent, and her clitoris protruded three
inches when well warmed; tickle this part of her and one was certain to see
her fly into an ecstasy in no time, and especially if the service was
rendered by a female. Her ass was very flabby and worn from use, entirely
soft, wrinkled, withered, and so toughened by the libidinous customs she in
recounting her history will explain to us, that one could do everything one
wished without her feeling anything there. One strange and assuredly very
rare thing, above all in Paris: she was as much a maid on this side as a
girl emerging from a convent, and perhaps, had it not been for the accursed
part she put to use with people who cared for nothing but the extraordinary
and whom, consequently, that side pleased, perhaps, I say, had it not been
for that part, this singular virginity might have perished with her.
Madame Martaine, a portly matron of fifty-two, very well preserved and
very healthy and blessed with the biggest and most beautiful rump one could
wish for, boasted the precise opposite by way of adventure. She had devoted
her life to sodomitical debauch, and was so well familiarized therewith she
tasted absolutely no joy save therefrom. A natural deformity (she had also
been blessed with an obstruction) having prevented her from knowing any
other, she had given herself over to this kind of pleasure, led to it both
by her inability to do anything else and by early habit, in consideration
of which she clung fast to this lubricity wherein 'twas declared she was
yet delicious, ready to brave come what might, dreading nothing. The most
monstrous engines were as naught to her, in fact such were the ones she
preferred, and the sequel to these papers will perhaps reveal her still
giving valorious fight beneath the standards of Sodom, as the most intrepid
of buggresses. Her features were gracious enough, but signs of languor and
of decline were beginning to mar her attractions, and but for the plumpness
sustaining her yet, she might have been thought timeworn and frayed.
As for Madame Desgranges, she was vice and lust personified; tall,
thin, fifty-six, ghostly pale and emaciated, dead dull eyes, dead lips, she
offered an image of crime about to perish for lack of strength. She had
once upon a time been brunette, there were some who even maintained she'd
had a beautiful body; not long thereafter it had become a mere skeleton
capable of inspiring nothing but disgust. Her ass, withered, worn, marked,
torn, more resembled marbled paper than human skin, and its hole was so
gaping, sprung, and rugose that the bulkiest machines could, without her
knowing a thing, penetrate it dry. By way of crowning graces, this generous
Cytherean athlete, wounded in several combats, was missing one nipple and
three fingers. She limped, and was without six teeth and an eye. We may
perhaps learn by what order of attacks she had been so mistreated; but one
thing is certain: nothing she had suffered had induced her to mend her
ways, and if her body was the picture of ugliness, her was the depository
of all the most unheard of vices and crimes: an arsonist, a parricade, a
sodomite, a tribade, a murderess, a poisoner, guilty of incest, of rape, of
theft, of abortions, and of sacrileges, one might truthfully affirm that
there is not a single crime in the world this villain had not committed
herself, or had others commit for her. Her present calling was procuring;
she was one of society's most heavily titled furnishers, and as to much
experience she joined a more or less agreeable prattle, she had been chosen
to fill the role of fourth storyteller, that is to say, the one in whose
story the greatest number of infamies and horrors were to be combined. Who
better than a creature who had performed them all could have played this
part?
These women once found, and found in every article to be such as was
desired, the friends turned their attentions to accessories. They had from
the outset planned to surround themselves with a large number of lust-
inspiring objects of either sex, but when it was brought to their attention
that the only setting in which this lubricious roister could conveniently
be held was that same château in Switzerland belonging to Durcet, the one
in which he had dispatched little Elvire, when, I say, it was remarked that
this château of only moderate size would not be able to lodge so great a
throng of inhabitants, and that, what was more, it might well prove unwise
or dangerous to bring along such a host, the list of subjects was trimmed
to thirty-two in all, the storytellers included: to wit: four of that
class, eight young girls, eight young boys, eight men endowed with
monstrous members, for the delights of passive sodomy, and four female
servants. But thoroughness went into the recruiting of all that; a year was
devoted to these details, an enormous amount of money too, and these are
the measures they employed to obtain the most delicious specimens of all
France could offer in the way of eight little girls: sixteen intelligent
procuresses, each accompanied by two lieutenants, were sent into the
sixteen major provinces of France, while a seventeeth was occupied with the
same work in Paris only. Each of these outfitters was given a rendezvous at
one of the Duc's estates on the outskirts of Paris, and all of them were to
appear there, during the same week, exactly ten months after the date of
their departure - this was the period they were given for searching. Each
was to bring back nine subjects, which came to a total of one hundred and
fifty-three girls, from which one hundred and fifty-three a choice of only
eight was to be made.
The procuresses were instructed to emphasize high birth, virtuousness,
and the most delicious visage possible; they were to conduct their
researches so as to draw material chiefly from eminent families, and were
not to hand over any girl without being able to prove that she had been
forcibly abducted from either a convent housing pensionnaires of quality,
or from the home of a family, and that a family of distinction. Whatever
was not superior to the class of bourgeoisie, and what from these upper
classes was not both very virtuous and wholly virgin and impeccably
beautiful, would be refused without mercy; spies were posted to survey
these women's proceedings and to supply the society with exhaustive and
prompt reports of what they were doing.
For each suitable subject found, they were paid thirty thousand
francs, the agents assuming all expenses. The costs were incredible. With
respect to age, it was fixed at from twelve to fifteen; anything above or
between was pitilessly rejected. At the same time, under identical
circumstances, with the same means, at the same expense, seventeen ages of
sodomy likewise scoured the capital and the provinces in search of little
boys, and their rendezvous was set for a month after the selection of the
girls. As for the young men whom we propose henceforth to designate as
fuckers, the size of the member was the sole criterion: nothing under ten
or eleven inches long by seven or eight around was acceptable. Eight men
labored throughout the kingdom to supply this demand, and their rendezvous
was scheduled to fall a month after the little boys'. While the story of
how these selections were made and received is not our foremost concern, it
might not be inappropriate at this point to insert a word on the subject in
order to bring out yet a little more of our four heroes' genius; it seems
to me that nothing which serves to enlarge the reader's understanding of
these figures and to shed light upon a party as extraordinary as the one we
are going to describe, can be judged irrelevant.
The time for the assembling of the little girls having arrived,
everyone converged upon the Duc's estate. Some few procuresses having been
unable to fill their quota of nine, some others having lost their charges
en route, either by illness or flight, only one hundred and thirty of them
were present at the rendezvous, but what charms, great God! never, I
believe, have so many charms been seen gathered together in one place.
Thirteen days were given over to this examination, and each day ten of them
were inspected. The four friends gathered in a circle, and in its middle
was placed the little girl, dressed as she had been seized; the procuress
responsible for her capture recited her history. If something of the
conditions of high birth or virtue were wanting, the inquiry went no
deeper, the child was forthwith rejected, without appeal, and sent on her
way, and the purveyor lost all that she had spent in connection with her.
Next, having provided all the vital particulars, the procuress was asked to
retire, and the child was interrogated in order to determine whether what
had just been alleged were true. If all seemed well, the procuress was
called in again, and she lifted the girl's skirts from behind, so as to
expose her buttocks to the group; this was the first thing it wished to
examine. The slightest defect in this part was grounds for immediate
rejection; if on the contrary naught were amiss here, she was ordered to
strip, or was stripped, and, naked, she passed and passed again, five or
six times over, from one of our libertines to the other, she was turned
about, she was turned the other way, she was fingered, she was handled,
they sniffed, they spread, they peeped, they examined the state of the
goods, was it new, was it used, but did all this coolly and without
permitting the senses' illusion to upset any aspect of the examination.
This done, the child was led away, and beside her name inscribed upon a
ballot, the examiners wrote passed or failed and signed their names; these
ballots were then dropped into a box, the voters refraining from
communicating their opinions to one another; all the girls examined, the
box was opened: in order to be accepted, a girl had to have our four
friend's names in her favor. The absence of one name was enough to exclude
her instantly and, in every instance, inexorably, as I have said: the
unsuitable ones were kicked directly out, set at large, alone and without a
guide, save when, as happened with perhaps a dozen, our liberines frolicked
with them after the choices had been made and before turning them over to
their procuresses.
This round resulted in the exclusion of fifty candidates, the other
eighty were gone over afresh, but with much greater exactitude and
severity; the least defect warranted instantaneous dismissal. One, lovely
as the day, was weeded out because one of her teeth grew a shade higher
from the gum than the rest; more than twenty others were refused because
they were daughters of nothing better than bourgeois. Thirty were
eliminated during this second round, hence only fifty were left. The
friends resolved not to continue to the third round until having first
being relieved of some fuck through these fifty aspirants' own ministry,
this in order that the senses' perfect calm could insure saner and sounder
choice. Each of the quartet encompassed himself by a team of twelve or
thirteen children; members of each team adopted varying attitudes, teams
were shifted, everything was brought off with such dexterity, there was, in
a word, so much lubricity in the doing that sperm flow, temperatures
subsided, and another thirty disappeared from the race. Twenty remained;
that was still a dozen too many. Further expedients to procure calm were
resorted to, every means wherefrom one would suppose disgust could be born
was employed, but the twenty still remained, and how might one have
subtracted from a number of creatures so wonderfully celestial you would
have declared they were the very work of a divinity? Equal in beauty,
something else had to discovered which could at least award eight of them
some kind of superiority over the twelve others, and what the President
then proposed was worthy indeed of all the disorder of his mind. That made
no difference; the suggestion was accepted: it had to do with finding out
which of them would best do something the chosen eight would be often
called upon to do. Four days sufficed amply to decide this question, and at
last twelve were given their leave, but not blankly as in the case of the
others; they provided a week's complete and exhaustive amusement, then were
put into the keeping of the procuresses who soon made a pretty penny from
the prostitution of creatures as distinguished as these. As for the
successful eight, they were installed in a convent to keep until the day of
departure, and in order to reserve until the designated period the pleasure
of enjoying them, the four colleagues did not touch them before then.
I'll not be so foolhardy as to attempt to describe these beauties:
they were all of them superior in an equal degree: my brush strokes would
necessarily be monotonous; I shall be content to give their names and to
affirm that upon my word it is perfectly impossible to obtain an idea of
such an assemblage of graces, of attractions, of perfections, and that had
Nature wished to give Man an idea of what her greatest and wisest art can
create, she would not have presented him with other models.
The first was named Augustine: she was fifteen, the daughter of a
Languedoc baron, and had been kidnaped from a convent in Montpellier.
The second was named Fanny: she was the daughter of a counselor to the
parliament of Brittany and had been abducted from her father's own château.
The third was named Zelmire: she was fifteen years old, she was the
Comte de Terville's daughter, and he idolized her. He had taken her hunting
with him on one of his estates in Beauce and, having left her alone in the
forest for a moment, she had been pounced upon at once. She was only a
child and, with a dowry of four hundred thousand francs, was the following
year to have married a very great lord. It was she who most wept and
grieved at the horror of her fate.
The fourth was named Sophie: she was fourteen and was the daughter of
a rather well-to-do gentleman who lived on his estate in Berry. She had
been seized while on a walk with her mother, who, seeking to defend her,
was flung into a river, where she expired before her daughter's eyes.
The fifth was named Colombe: she was from Paris, the child of a
counselor to Parliament; she was thirteen and had been kidnaped while
returning in the evening to her convent with a governess, after leaving a
children's ball. The governess had been stabbed to death.
The sixth was named Hebe: she was just twelve, the daughter of a
cavalry captain, a nobleman who lived in Orleans. The youngster had been
enticed and carried away from the convent where she was being brought up;
two nuns had been bought. You could not hope to find anything more
seductive or sweeter.
The seventh was named Rosette: she was thirteen and was the child of
the Lieutenant-General of Chalon-sur-Saône. Her father had just died, she
was with her mother in the countryside near the city, and was captured
within sight of her relatives by agents disguised as thieves.
The last was named Mimi or Michette: she was twelve, she was the
daughter of the Marquis de Senanges and had been kidnaped on her father's
estate in the Bourbonnais while on a carriage drive which she had been
allowed to take with two or three women from the château. The women were
murdered. It will be remarked that the preparations for these revels cost
much money and many crimes; to such people, treasure means exceedingly
little, and as for crime, one was then living in an age when it was not by
any means probed and punished the way it is nowadays. Hence everything
succeeded, and so prettily that, the inquests amounting to virtually
nothing at all, our libertines were never troubled by consequences.
The time drew nigh for the examination of the little boys. Easier to
obtain, their number was greater. The pimps produced one hundred and fifty
of them, and it will surely be no exaggeration if I affirm that they at
least equaled the little girls, as much in their innocence, and their
elevated rank. Thirty thousand francs were paid for each of them, the same
sum given for the girls, but the entrepreneurs risked nothing, because this
game being more delicate and far more to the taste of our epicures, it had
been decided that no one would be put in danger of losing his expenses,
that while the lads with whom it was impossible to come to terms would be
rejected, as they would be put to some use they would also be paid for.
Their examination was conducted like that of the girls, ten were
verified each day, but with the very wise precaution which had been a
little too much neglected with the girls, with the precaution, I say, of
always preceding the examination by a discharge arranged with the aid of
the ten who were under present scrutiny. The others were half of a mind to
bar the President from the ceremony, they were wary of the depravation of
his tastes; they had feared, in the selection of the girls, being made the
dupes of his accursed predilection for infamy and degradation: he promised
to keep himself in check, and if he kept his word, it is unlikely he did so
without difficulty, for when once a damaged or diseased imagination becomes
accustomed to these species of outrages against good taste and Nature,
outrages which so deliciously flatter it, it is no easy matter to restore
such a person to the path of righteousness: it seems as if the desire to
satisfy his longing displaces reason in his judgements. Scorning what is
truly beautiful, no longer cherishing but what is frightful, desire's
pronouncements correspond to its criteria, and the return to truer
sentiments would appear to him to be a wrong done those principles whence
he should be most sorry to stray. One hundred hopefuls were found
unanimously approved when the initial seances were over, and these
decisions had to be five times reconsidered in order to arrive at the small
group alone to be accepted. Thrice in succession fifty survived the
balloting, and then, to reduce that number to the stipulated eight, the
jurors were compelled to resort to unusual measures in order somehow to
lessen the appeal of idols still glamorous despite everything they had been
able to do to them. The idea occurred to them to dress the boys as girls:
twenty-five were eliminated by this trick which, lending to a sex they
worshiped the garb of one to which they had become indifferent, depreciated
their value and ruined almost all the illusion. But nothing could alter the
voting on the twenty-five that were left. 'Twas all in vain, in vain they
spattered their fuck about, in vain they wrote their names upon the ballots
at the same moment they discharged, in vain they put to use the expedient
adopted with the little girls, the twenty-five proved irreducible every
time, and at last they agreed to have them draw lots. Here are the names
they gave the lucky ones who remained, their age, their birth, and a word
or two about their adventures; their portraits? I cry off: Cupid's own
features were surely no more delicate, and the models Albani sought from
which to choose traits for his divine angels must certainly have been
inferior by far.
Zelamir was thirteen years old: he was the only son of a gentleman out
of Poitou who had been bringing him up with the greatest care. Escorted by
a single domestic, he had been sent to Poitiers to visit a kinsman; our
rogues ambushed them, slew the domestic, and made off with the child.
Cupidon was the same age: he had been a pupil in a school at La
Flèche, and was the son of a gentleman dwelling in the vicinity of that
town. A trap was laid for the boy, he was kidnaped while on an outing the
students used to take on Sundays. He was the prettiest pupil in the entire
collège.
Narcisse was twelve; he was a Knight of Malta. He had been abducted in
Rouen, where his father filled an honorable post compatible with his
nobility; the boy was en route to the Collège de Louis-le-Grand at Paris,
he was waylaid and seized while on the road.
Zephyr, the most delicious of the eight, it being supposed that their
excessive beauty might allow the possibility of a choice, was from Paris;
he was pursuing his studies there, in a famous pension. His father, a
ranking officer, did all in his power to get his son back, and failed;
money had seduced the headmaster of the school, who delivered seven
specimens, of whom six were refused. Zephyr had set the Duc's head to
spinning, and the latter protested that were it to have cost a million to
bugger the boy he would have paid it in cash on the spot. He reserved to
himself the lad's initiation, and it was generally granted him. O tender
and delicate child, what disproportion and what a dreadful fate were in
store for you!
Celadon was the son of a magistrate of Nancy; he was captured at
Luneville, whither he had gone to visit his aunt. He had just attained his
fourteenth year. In this case a girl was used to bait the trap. Celadon and
she were introduced, the little wench drew him into the snare by feigning
love for him; he was negligently chaperoned, the stroke was successful.
Adonis was fifteen; he was ravished at Plessis, where he was enrolled
in school. He was the son of a judge of the assize courts who raised a
great hue and cry, but all to no avail, the capture had been so nicely
planned no one knew a thing about it. Curval, who had been mad about the
child for two years, had made his acquaintance at his father's house, and
it was he who had supplied the means and information necessary to debauch
him. The others were greatly surprised to find such sensible good taste in
a head so depraved as Curval's, and he, most proud, profited from the event
to show his colleagues that, as was plainly to be seen, he still could
boast a sometimes fine palate. The child recognized him and fell to
weeping, but the President consoled him with the assurance it would be to
him would befall the deflowering, and while uttering these comforting
words, he wobbled his enormous engine against those frail little buttocks.
Curval asked the assembly for the boy; his request was unopposed.
Hyacinthe was fourteen years old; he was the son of a retired officer
living in a small city in Champagne. He adored hunting and was taken while
afield, his father having been so imprudent as to allow him to set out
alone.
Giton was twelve; he was kidnaped at Versailles from amidst of the
page boys at the King's stables. He was the son of a man of consequence
from the Nivernais, who not six months prior had brought him to Versailles.
He was very simply abducted while walking alone on the avenue de Saint-
Cloud. He became the Bishop's passion, and to the Bishop was the prize
decreed.
Those, thus, were the masculine deities our libertines prepared for
their lubricity; we will see in due time and place the use to which they
were put. One hundred and forty-two subjects remained, but whereas there
had been much trifling over the eight, there was none with this game: not
one of the defeated candidates was dismissed until he had served some
purpose.
Our libertines spent a month with them at the Duc's château. As they
were on the eve of setting forth, as all the practical arrangements were
completed, the company had little else to do but amuse itself until the day
of departure. When at last they were thoroughly fed up with their sport,
they fell upon a pleasant means for disposing of what had provided it: that
was to sell the boys to a Turkish pirate, a scheme whereby no trace of them
would be left and a part of the costs would be recovered. They were sent in
small groups to a place near Monaco, the Turk came to get them and lead
them off into slavery, doubtless a dreadful fate, but one whereby, none the
less, our four villains were hugely entertained.
And now came the moment of choosing the fuckers. Those of this class
who failed to meet the standards were the cause of no embarrasment; being
mature and reasonable men, it was enough to pay them for their trouble,
their traveling expenses, and send them home. The eight experts who had
contracted to furnish the fuckers had, furthermore, many fewer obstacles to
surmount, since the specifications were by and large concrete and the
conditions made no difference at all. Thus it was fifty came to the
rendezvous; from amongst the twenty biggest, the eight youngest and most
attractive were singled out, and since in the sequel mention will almost
never be made save of the four biggest of the eight, I shall restrict
myself to naming these.
Hercule, with a body hewn in the image of the god whose name he had
been given, was twenty-six years of age and was endowed with a member eight
and one-quarter inches around by thirteen long. Nothing more beautiful nor
more majestic has ever been seen; this tool was almost always upright, and
with only eight discharges, so tests revealed, it could fill a pint measure
to the brim. Hercule was also very gentle, very sweet, and had an
interesting countenance.
Antinoüs, so named because, like Hadrian's favourite, he had, together
with the world's prettiest prick, its most voluptuous ass, and that
exceedingly rare. Antinoüs wielded a device measuring eight inches in
circumference and twelve in length. He was thirty and had a face worthy of
his other features.
Bum-Cleaver lugged a club so amusingly shaped it was nearly impossible
for him to perform an embuggery without splitting the ass, whence came the
name he bore. The head of his prick resembled the heart of an ox, it was
eight and three-eights inches around; behind it, the shaft measured only
eight, but was crooked and had such a curve it neatly tore the anus when
penetrating it, and this quality, very precious to libertines as jaded as
ours, had made him singularly sought after.
Invictus, so named because, no matter what he did, his erection was
perpetual, was furnished with an engine eleven inches long and seven and
fifteen-sixteenths inches around. Greater ones, who had difficulty
stiffening, had been turned away to make room for him who, regardless of
the quantity of discharges he produced in a day, rose heavenward at the
slightest touch.
The other four were of about the same dimensions and the same shape.
The forty-two rejected candidates provided a fortnight's entertainment and,
after the friends had put them through their paces and worn them to the
bone, they were well rewarded and bidden adieu.
Nothing now remained but the choice of the four ladies-in-waiting, and
this final stage was without doubt the most picturesque. The President was
not the only one whose tastes were depraved; his three friends, and
especially Durcet, were indeed a little tainted by his accursed, crapulous,
and debauched mania which causes one to find a greater, more piquant
attraction in an old, disgusting, and filthy object than in what Nature has
fashioned most divinely. Explaining this fancy would probably be difficult,
but it exists in many people; Nature's disorder carries with it a kind of
sting which operates upon the high-keyed sort with perhaps as much and even
more force than do her most regular beauties; it has been proven, moreover,
that when one's prick is aloft, it is horror, villainy, the appalling, that
pleases; well, where are they more emphatically present than in a vitiated
object? If 'tis the filthy thing which pleases in the lubricious act, then
certainly the more filthy the thing, the more it should please, and it is
surely much filthier in the corrupted than in the intact and perfect
object.
No, as to that there's no doubt. Furthermore, beauty belongs to the
sphere of the simple, the ordinary, whilst ugliness is something
extraordinary, and there is no question but that every ardent imagination
prefers in lubricity the extraordinary to the commonplace. Beauty, health
never strike one save in a simple way; ugliness, degradation deal a far
stouter blow, the commotion they create is much stronger, the resultant
agitation must hence be more lively; in the light of all this, there should
be no cause for astonishment in the fact that an immense crowd of people
prefer to take their pleasure with an aged, ugly, and even stinking crone
and will refuse a fresh and pretty girl, no more reason to be astonished by
that, I say, than at a man who for his promenades prefers the mountains'
arid and rugged terrain to the monotonous pathways of the plains. All these
matters depend upon our tastes in this connection than it is in our power
to alter the form of our bodies.
Be that as it may, such, as I have said, was the dominating taste of
the President and, to tell the truth, the taste which came near to
predominating in his three confreres, for when it came to choosing female
servants, their views were identical, and we are about to see from this
choice that its making bespoke the constitutional disorder and depraviation
to which we have just alluded.
The most painstaking search was initiated in Paris; the four creatures
needed were finally located; however loathsome may be their portraits, the
reader will none the less permit me to draw them: that I do so is essential
to that aspect of manners the elucidation of which is one of the principal
aims of this work.
Marie was the name of the first one; she had been servant of a
notorious brigand quite recently put to death on the wheel, whipping and
branding had been her penalty. She was fifty-eight years old, had almost no
hair left, her nose stood askew, her eyes were dull and rheumy, her mouth
large and filled with her thirty-two teeth, yes, they were all there, but
all were yellow as sulphur; she was tall, raw-boned, having whelped
fourteen children, all fourteen of whom, said she, she'd strangled from
fear they'd turn out ne'er-do-wells. Her belly rippled like the waves of
the sea, and one of her buttocks was devoured by an abscess.
The second was known as Louison; she was sixty, stunted, hunchbacked,
blind in one eye, and lame, but she had a fine ass for her age and her skin
was still in fairly good repair. She was as wicked as the devil and forever
ready to commit any horror and every extravagance one could possibly demand
of her.
Therèse was sixty-two; she was tall, thin, looked like a skeleton, not
a hair was left on her head, not a tooth in her mouth, and from this
opening in her body she exhaled an odor capable of flooring any bystander.
Her ass was peppered with wounds, and her buttocks were so prodigiously
slack one could have furled the skin around a walking stick; the hole in
this splendid ass resembled the crater of a volcano what for width, and for
aroma the pit of a privy; in all her life, Therèse declared, she had never
once wiped her ass, whence we have proof positive that the shit of her
infancy yet clung there. As for her vagina, it was the receptacle of
everything ungodly, of every horror, a veritable sepulcher whose fetidity
was enough to make you faint away. She had one twisted arm and limped in
one leg.
The fourth was called Fanchon; six times she had been hanged in
effigy, and not a crime exists in this world she had not committed. She was
sixty-nine, she was flat-nosed, short, and heavy; she squinted, had almost
no forehead, had nothing but two old teeth in her stinking maw, and they
were ready to fall out, an erysipelas blazed all over her ass and
hemorrhoids the size of your fist hung from her anus, a frightful chancre
consumed her vagina, and one of her thighs had been entirely burned. She
was dead drunk three-quarters of the year, and in that condition, her
stomach being very weak, she vomited over everything. Despite the batch fo
hemorrhoids adorning it, her asshole was naturally so large that all
unawares she blew driblets and farts and often more besides. Apart from
acting as servants in the luxurious recreation palace the four friends had
in mind, these women were also to lend a hand at all the convocations and
render all the lubricious services and ministrations that might be required
of them.
As soon as all these matters had been decided and the summer having
already begun, they turned their thoughts to the transporting of the
various objects which were, during the four months' sojourn on Durcet's
estate, to render its inhabitation comfortable and agreeable. A vast store
of furniture and mirrors, of viands and wines and liqueurs of all kinds
were ordered borne thither, workmen were sent there, and little by little
the numerous subjects were conducted to the château where Durcet, who had
gone ahead, received, lodged, and established them as they arrived.
But the moment has come to give the reader a description of the
renowned temple appointed for so many luxurious sacrifices throughout the
projected four-month season. He will observe with what great care they had
chosen a remote and isolated retreat, as if silence, distance, and
stillness were libertinage's potent vehicles, and as if everything which
through these qualities instills a religious terror in the senses had
necessarily and evidently to bestow additional charm upon lust. We are
going to picture this retreat not as once it was, but in the state of
embellishment and yet more perfect solitude that resulted from our four
friends' efforts.
To reach the place one had first to get to Basel; at that city you
crossed the Rhine, beyond which the road became steadily narrower until you
had to abandon your carriage. Soon afterward you entered the Black Forest,
you plunged about fifteen leagues into it, ascended a difficult, tortuous
road that, without a guide, would be absolutely impracticable. By and by
you caught sight of a sinister and mean hamlet of charcoal burners and
gamekeepers; there began the territory Durcet owned, and the hamlet was
his; as this little village's population was composed almost entirely of
thieves or smugglers, Durcet easily befriended it, and his first order to
the inhabitants was expressly to enjoin them under no circumstances to
allow anyone whomsoever to pass on toward the château after the 1st of
November, the date by which the entire society was to be assembled in it.
He distributed weapons to his faithful vassals, granted them certain
privileges they had been long soliciting, and the barrier was lowered. That
done, and the gates tightly sealed, one will see by the following
description how difficult of access was Silling, the name Durcet's châteu
bore.
Having passed the village, you begin to scale a mountain almost as
high as the Saint-Bernard and infinitely more difficult to ascend, for the
only way to reach the summit is by foot; not that the route is forbidden to
pack mules, but such are the precipices which everywhere border the one so
very narrow path that must be followed, that you run the greatest danger if
you ride; six of the mules used to transport supplies and food perished,
taking with them two laborers who had though to mount astride them. Five
full hours are required to reach the top of the mountain, and there you
come upon another extraordinary feature which, owing to the precautions
that had been taken, became a new barrier so insurmountable that none but
birds might have overcome it: the topographical accident we refer to is a
crevice above sixty yards wide which splits the crest into northern and
southern parts, with the result that, after having climbed up the mountain,
it is impossible, without great skill, to go back down it. Durcet had
united these two parts, between which a precipice fell to the depth of a
thousand feet and more, by a fine wooden bridge which was destroyed
immediately the last of the crew had arrived, and from this moment on, all
possibility of communicating with the Château of Silling ceased. For, cross
the bridge and you come down into a little plain about four acres in area;
the plain is surrounded on all sides by sheer crags rising to the clouds,
crags which envelop the plain within a faultless screen. The passage known
as the bridge path is hence the only one by which you may descend into or
communicate with the little plain; the bridge removed or destroyed, there
is not on this earth a single being, of no matter what species you may
imagine, capable of gaining this small plot of level land.
And it is in the center of this flat space so well surrounded, so
solidly protected, that one finds Durcet's château. Yet another wall,
thirty feet high, girds it; beyond the wall a moat filled with water and
exceedingly deep defends a last tall and winding enclosure; a low and
strait postern finally leads into the great inner court around which all
the living quarters are built, and they are very capacious, very well
furnished thanks to the arrangements latterly concluded; one discovers a
long gallery on the first floor. I would have it remarked that the
description I am about to give of the apartments corresponds not to what in
former times they may have been, but to the manner in which they had just
been rearranged and distributed in accordance with our libertines' common
conception. From the gallery you moved into a very attractive dining hall
provided with buffets shaped like towers which, communicating with the
kitchen, made it possible to serve the company its food hot, promptly, and
without the help of any waiters. From this dining hall, hung in tapestries,
warmed by heating devices, furnished with ottomans, with excellent
armchairs, and with everything which could make it both comfortable and
pleasing to the eye, you passed into a large living room or salon, simple,
plain, but exceedingly warm and equipped with the very best furniture;
adjacent to this room was an assembly chamber intended for the
storytellers' narrations. This was, so to speak, the lists for the
projected jousts, the seat of the lubricious conclaves, and as it had been
decorated accordingly, it merits something by way of a special description.
Its shape was semicircular; set into the curving wall were four niches
whose surfaces were faced with large mirrors, and each was provided with an
excellent ottoman; these four recesses were so constructed that each faced
the center of the circle; the diameter was formed by a throne, raised four
feet above the floor and with its back to the flat wall, and it was
intended for the storyteller; in this position she was not only well before
the four niches intended for her auditors, but, the circle being small, was
close enough to them to insure their hearing every word she said, for she
was placed like an actor in a theater, and the audience in their niches
found themselves situated as if observing a spectacle in an amphitheater.
Steps led down from the throne, upon them were to sit the objects of
debauchery brought in to soothe any sensory irritation provoked by the
recitals; these several tiers, like the throne, were upholstered in black
velvet edged with gold fringe, and the niches were furnished with similar
and likewise enriched material, but in color dark blue. At the back of each
niche was a little door leading into an adjoining closet which was to be
used at times when, having summoned the desired subject from the steps, one
preferred not to execute before everyone the delight for whose execution
one had summoned that subject. These closets were provided with couches and
with all the other furnishing required for every kind of impurity. On
either side of the central throne an isolated column rose to the ceiling;
these two columns were designed to support the subject in whom some
misconduct might merit correction. All the instruments necessary to meting
it out hung from hooks attached to the columns, and this imposing sight
served to maintain the subordination so indispensable to parties of this
nature, a subordination whence is born almost all the charm of the
voluptuousness in persecutors' souls.
One could walk from this semicircular room directly to a chamber which
formed the end of this part of the living quarters. This chamber was a kind
of boudoir, it was soundproof and secluded, but very warm within, very dark
during the day, and its purpose was for private interviews and secluded
contests, or for certain other secret delights which will be unveiled in
the sequel. To reach the other wing, one had to retrace one's footsteps,
and once in the gallery, at the end of which an exceedingly handsome chapel
was visible, one entered the opposite wing which completed the circuit of
the inner courtyard. You discovered a splendid antechamber adjoined by four
superb apartments, each having a boudoir and wash cabinets; splendid
Turkish beds canopied in three-colored damask with matching furniture
adorned these suites whose boudoirs offered everything and more of the most
sensual that lubricity might fancy. These four units, exceptionally well-
heated and comfortable, were intended for the four colleagues, who were
perfectly lodged therein. In that the protocols stipulated that their wives
were to occupy the same quarters, no separate space was set aside for them.
Upstairs, the second story contained about the same number of
apartments, but they were otherwise divided; you first came upon, to one
side, a vast room bordered by eight niches, each having a little bed -
these were the girls' quarters, and beside them were two small chambers for
the old women who were to have charge of them. Further along, a pair of
pretty rooms had been set aside for two of the storytellers. Now turning
about and going in the other direction, you found a similar eight-niched
room for the little boys; by it were two rooms for the duennas appointed to
supervise them; and beyond these were two more rooms, also alike, for the
two storytellers. Eight cheerful rooms, as fine as anything you have yet
seen, formed the eight fuckers' quarter, although these individuals were
destined to do very little sleeping in their own beds. Below, on the ground
floor, were the kitchens and, near them, six small chambers for the six
persons to whom the preparation of food had been confided; amongst them
were three cooks renowned for their art; they were all females, women
having been preferred for a pleasure outing like this one, and I believe
the decision was just. The cooks were assisted by three robust young
scullery maids, but none of the kitchen staff was to appear at the revels,
that was not its purpose, and if the rules imposed in this connection were
violated, 'tis merely because libertinage stops at nothing, and the true
way of extending and multiplying one's desires is to attempt to impose
checks upon them. One of these three underlings was to look after the
numerous livestock which had been fetched to the château - with the
exception of the four aged ladies who were meant for household duties,
there were no domestics save for these three cooks and their seconds. But
depravity, cruelty, disgust, infamy, all those passions anticipated or
experienced, had erected another locality whereof it is a matter of urgency
that we give the sketch, for the laws essential to the proper unfolding of
our tale demand that we depict it with thoroughness now.
A fatal stone there was which, cunningly made, could be raised from
below the step of the altar in the little Christian temple we discerned
from the gallery; beneath that stone one beheld a spiral stairway, very
narrow and very steep, whose three hundred steps could convey you down into
the bowels of the earth, to a kind of vaulted dungeon, closed by triple
doors of iron, and in which was displayed everything the cruelest art and
the most refined barbarity could invent of the most atrocious, as much for
gripping one with terror as for proceeding to horrors. And there below,
what tranquillity! to what degree might not the villain be reassured who
brought his victim there! What had he to fear? He was out of France, in a
safe province, in the depths of an uninhabitable forest, within this forest
in a redoubt which, owing to the measures he had taken, only the birds of
the air could approach, and he was in the depth of the earth's entrails.
Woe, a hundred times woe to the unlucky creature who in the midst of such
abandonment were to find himself at the mercy of a villain lawless and
without religion, whom crime amused, and whose only interest lay in his
passions, who heeded naught, had nothing to obey but the imperious decrees
of his perfidious lusts. I know not what will transpire in that nether
place, but this I may say without doing our tale a disservice, that when a
description of the dungeon was given the Duc, he reacted by discharging
three times in succession.
Everything being ready at last, everything perfectly disposed, the
subjects installed, the Duc, the Bishop, Curval, and their wives, with the
four second-ranking fuckers in their train, set off (Durcet and his wife,
together with all the rest, having arrived beforehand, as we have
previously noted), and not without infinite difficulty, finally reached the
château on the evening of the 29th of October. Immediately they crossed it,
Durcet had the bridge cut. But that was not all: having inspected the
place, the Duc decided that, since all the provisions were within the
fortress, and since therefore they had no need to leave it, it were
necessary, in order to forestall external attack, which was little dreaded,
and escapes from within, the possibilities of which were less unlikely, it
were necessary, I say, to have walled shut all the gates, all the passages
whereby the château might be penetrated, and absolutely to enclose
themselves inside their retreat as within a besieged citadel, without
leaving the least entrance to an enemy, the least egress to a deserter. The
recommendation was put into effect, they barricaded themselves to such an
extent there was no longer any trace left of where the exits had been; and
then they settled down comfortably inside.
After the provisions we have just cited had been taken, the two days
still remaining before the 1st of November were devoted to resting the
subjects, that they might make a fresh appearance at the scenes of
debauchery soon to begin, and during this interval the four friends labored
over a code of laws which, as soon as it was brought to perfection and
signed, was promulgated to those concerned. Before advancing to the matter,
it is essential that these articles of government be made known to the
reader who, after the exact description we have given him of everything,
will now have no more to do than follow the story, lightly and
voluptuously, his mind impeded by nothing, his memory embarrassed by no
unexpected intrusions.
STATUTES
The company shall rise every day at ten o'clock in the morning, at
which time the four fuckers who have not been in duty during the night
shall come to pay the friends a visit and shall each bring a little boy;
they shall pass from one bedchamber to another, successively. They shall
perform as bidden by the friends' likings and desires, but during the
preliminaries the little boys shall serve only as a tempting prospect, for
it has been decided and planned that the eight maidenheads of the little
girls' cunts shall remain intact until the month of December, and their
asses shall likewise remain in bond, as shall the asses of the eight little
boys, until the month of January, at which times the respective seals shall
be broken, and this in order to allow voluptuousness to become irritated by
the augmentation of a desire incessantly inflamed and never satisfied, a
state which must necessarily lead to that certain lascivious fury the
friends shall strive to provoke, considering it one of lubricity's most
highly delectable situations.
At eleven o'clock, the friends shall repair to the quarters appointed
for the little girls. In that place will be served breakfast consisting of
chocolate, or of roasts cooked in Spanish wine, or of other appropriate
restoratives. This breakfast shall be served by the eight little girls,
naked, aided by the two elders, Marie and Louison, assigned to the seraglio
of girls, the other two elders being assigned to that of the boys. If,
during this breakfast, the friends are moved to commit impudicities with
the little girls, before or after, the latter shall lend themselves
thereunto with the resignation prescribed to them, and wherein they shall
not be found wanting without severe punishment being the consequence. But
it is agreed that at this hour there shall be undertaken no secret or
private exercises, and that if a moment's wantonizing be desired, it shall
be conducted openly and before the public present at the morning meal.
These little girls shall adopt the general custom of kneeling at all
times whenever they see or meet a friend, and they shall remain thus until
told to stand; they, the wives, and the elders shall alone be subject to
these regulations, wherefrom the others are dispensed, but everyone shall
be bound never to address the friends save as my Lord.
Before leaving the girls' apartments, that one of the friends who is
invested with the month's stewardship (it being intended that for the space
of a month one friend shall be in general supervision of everything, each
friend acceding to the office in his turn and in the following order:
Durcet during November, the Bishop during December, the President during
January, the Duc during February), he, then, who is the month's presiding
officer, before leaving the girls' quarters, shall inspect them all, to
determine whether they are in the state wherein they have been instructed
to maintain themselves, whereof the elders shall be each morning apprised
and which will be determined by the need that exists for them to keep in
such and such a state.
As it is strictly forbidden to relieve oneself anywhere save in the
chapel, which has been outfitted and intended for this purpose, and
forbidden to go there without individial and special permission, the which
shall be often refused, and for good reason, the month's presiding officer
shall scrupulously examine, immediately after breakfast, all the girls'
water closets, and in the case of a contravention discovered in the one
above-designated place or in the other, the delinquent shall be condemned
to suffer the penalty of death.
The friends shall move from there into the little boys' apartments in
order to perform the same inspections and similarly to pronounce capital
punishment against offenders. The four little boys who have not been that
morning with the friends, shall now receive them when they enter their
chamber and shall untrouser themselves before them, the other four shall
remain standing in attention, awaiting the orders which are given them.
Messieurs may or may not indulge in lewd byplay with the four they have not
until now seen during the day, but whatever they do shall be done publicly;
no intimate commerce shall be held at this hour.
At one o'clock, those of the girls or the boys, of mature and of young
years, who have obtained permission to satisfy urgent needs, that is to
say, the heavier sort, and this permission shall never be put most
sparingly accorded, and at the most to a third of the subjects, those, we
repeat, shall betake themselves to the chapel where everything has been
artistically arranged for the voluptuous delights falling under this head.
In this place they will find the four friends who shall wait for them until
two o'clock and never any longer, and who shall distribute and adjust them
as they judge proper to the delights of this order which they may be moved
to taste.
From two to three the first two tables shall be served: they shall
dine simultaneously, one in the girls' large apartment, the other in that
of the young boys: the three kitchen servants shall serve these two tables.
At the first shall sit the eight little girls and the four elders; at the
second the four wives, the eight little boys, and the four storytellers.
During their meal, Messieurs will be pleased to gather in the living room
where they will chat together until three o'clock. Just before this hour,
the eight fuckers shall make their appearance here, as well clothed and as
well adorned as it is in their power to be.
At three shall be served the masters' dinner, and the honor to be
present there shall be enjoyed by none but the eight fuckers; this meal
shall be served by the four wives, entirely naked, aided by the four
elders, clad as sorceresses; to the latter shall fall the task of bringing
the plates from the towers into which the servants, on the other side,
shall have put them, and the plates shall be handed to wives, who shall
deposit them on the table. The eight fuckers, in the course of the dinner,
will be at liberty to handle and touch the unclothed bodies of the wives in
whatever manner and to whatever extent they please, without the said wives
being permitted to refuse or defend themselves; the fuckers will even be
able to go to the point of employing insults and of thickening their sticks
by apostrophizing them with all the invectives they may see fit to
pronounce.
The friends shall rise from the table at five, at which time these
Messieurs only (the fuckers shall retire until the hour of general
assembly), these Messieurs only, I say, shall pass into the salon, where
two little boys and two little girls, who shall be changed daily, shall, in
a state of nudity, serve them coffee and liqueur; nor shall it be at this
point in the day's activities Messieurs shall permit themselves diversions
which might enervate them; conversation shall be limited to simple jesting.
EPT said @ 11:54am GMT on 23rd Jan
Do you have anything by Bathory?
Chop-Logik said @ 9:00pm GMT on 27th Feb
don't encourage him...
Fenny said @ 2:03am GMT on 28th Feb
yea, what dribblenose said...
Mr. Langosta said @ 3:58am GMT on 10th Jan
test
Rojo^ said @ 10:40am GMT on 10th Jan
I like pussy.
sherlock said @ 5:32am GMT on 11th Jan
Waaaaaaaaaaah???
whatfor said @ 7:52am GMT on 11th Jan
Damn! I wish I could think of something random to say...
max_damage78 said @ 9:14am GMT on 11th Jan
I was spankin my monkey, then it bit me.

FUCKING MONKEY!!!
Dna01 said @ 6:55pm GMT on 13th Jan
good god this is a huge non-post...

no, there's no sick-me sign... it's my Insanity of the FEET!!
Dna01 said @ 6:56pm GMT on 13th Jan
good god this is a huge non-post...

no, there's no kick-me sign... it's my Insanity of the FEET!!
vlimp said @ 1:41am GMT on 14th Jan
oh my...
Chop-Logik said @ 9:12pm GMT on 14th Jan [Score:1 Insightful]
I should mention that whenever someone comments on this entry, matt gets an email about it. Act accordingly ;)
Neo Kojiro said @ 2:39am GMT on 17th Mar
I like swords.
Trigger said @ 9:49am GMT on 11th May
I like teh Shineys
Mr. Langosta said @ 5:15am GMT on 16th Jan
I'm Henry the Eighth I am!
Henry the Eight I am I am!

(everybody sing)
Vampire_X said @ 6:09am GMT on 25th Mar
...no
f00m said @ 6:29am GMT on 17th Jan
PENIS
sensibleb said @ 7:43am GMT on 17th Jan
I'm awed by it's wee-ness.
f00m said @ 2:35am GMT on 18th Jan
HI MATT :)
f00m said @ 2:36am GMT on 18th Jan
testing
letoofdune said @ 1:01am GMT on 20th Jan
letoofdune said @ 1:01am GMT on 20th Jan
letoofdune said @ 1:01am GMT on 20th Jan
palomer said @ 11:06pm GMT on 30th Jan

www.eh.com
Chop-Logik said @ 12:39am GMT on 1st Feb
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S0RRY, WE C0ULD N0T FIND T3H PR0N j00 R L00Kz0rING FORS ^__^ KEKEKEKEKE


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Chop-Logik said @ 12:39am GMT on 1st Feb
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


S0RRY, WE C0ULD N0T FIND T3H PR0N j00 R L00Kz0rING FORS ^__^ KEKEKEKEKE


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sensibleb said @ 12:57am GMT on 1st Feb
Dude. Sleep. Seriously.
Chop-Logik said @ 10:49pm GMT on 1st Feb
NEVAR
Thathurt said @ 1:40pm GMT on 7th Feb
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOLEEEEEEEEEE DOG SHIT
Nick said @ 11:27am GMT on 14th Feb
Why?
fhufi said @ 12:46pm GMT on 19th Feb
fhufi said @ 12:50pm GMT on 19th Feb
[img]http://www.danasoft.com/ssig.jpg[/img]
Vampire_X said @ 4:57am GMT on 20th Apr
mwahahahaahah!! puny msgboard code user!
fuct4lyfe said @ 2:03pm GMT on 23rd Feb
I finally found it.
ebuvor said @ 7:52pm GMT on 23rd Feb
there's an entire novella in here...
Ifrit said @ 8:55pm GMT on 23rd Feb
Holy shit! I don't know what this page is all about, but if I found it, it must mean I'm soon to be a ChoSEn one! OMG! I'm going to go celebrate with lots of booze and sex! OMG! Holy shit this is cool!

Yeah....
tomecat said @ 12:59am GMT on 24th Feb
Ah man. Mess with me when I'm fucked up.
Through the looking glass.
felix said @ 12:00pm GMT on 27th Feb
...
letoofdune said @ 1:55pm GMT on 27th Feb
I agree.
Sean said @ 4:17pm GMT on 1st Dec
Testing something; figured I might as well do it in this thread...
LordFeldo said @ 5:37pm GMT on 3rd Mar
I just came.
racerx said @ 2:19am GMT on 8th Mar
The whole thing, I think, is sick.
testing said @ 2:08pm GMT on 8th Mar
testing
Mr. Langosta said @ 2:27am GMT on 9th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
Page 1 of 1189


Genesis 1

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 The earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirit of God was moving over the face of the waters. 3 And God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. 4 And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day. 6 And God said, "Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters." 7 And God made the firmament and separated the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament. And it was so. 8 And God called the firmament Heaven. And there was evening and there was morning, a second day. 9 And God said, "Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear." And it was so. 10 God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good. 11 And God said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, upon the earth." And it was so. 12 The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening and there was morning, a third day. 14 And God said, "Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to separate the day from the night; and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the firmament of the heavens to give light upon the earth." And it was so. 16 And God made the two great lights, the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night; he made the stars also. 17 And God set them in the firmament of the heavens to give light upon the earth, 18 to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening and there was morning, a fourth day. 20 And God said, "Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the firmament of the heavens." 21 So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22 And God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth." 23 And there was evening and there was morning, a fifth day. 24 And God said, "Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds: cattle and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds." And it was so. 25 And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the cattle according to their kinds, and everything that creeps upon the ground according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth." 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28 And God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth." 29 And God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for food. 30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food." And it was so. 31 And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day.

Mr. Langosta said @ 2:32am GMT on 9th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
Page 2 of 1189


Genesis 2

1 Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. 2 And on the seventh day God finished his work which he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had done. 3 So God blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, because on it God rested from all his work which he had done in creation. 4 These are the generations of the heavens and the earth when they were created. In the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens, 5 when no plant of the field was yet in the earth and no herb of the field had yet sprung up--for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was no man to till the ground; 6 but a mist went up from the earth and watered the whole face of the ground-- 7 then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. 8 And the LORD God planted a garden in Eden, in the east; and there he put the man whom he had formed. 9 And out of the ground the LORD God made to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food, the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 10 A river flowed out of Eden to water the garden, and there it divided and became four rivers. 11 The name of the first is Pishon; it is the one which flows around the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold; 12 and the gold of that land is good; bdellium and onyx stone are there. 13 The name of the second river is Gihon; it is the one which flows around the whole land of Cush. 14 And the name of the third river is Tigris, which flows east of Assyria. And the fourth river is the Euphrates. 15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to till it and keep it. 16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, "You may freely eat of every tree of the garden; 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall die." 18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." 19 So out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; 22 and the rib which the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." 24 Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.

Mr. Langosta said @ 2:33am GMT on 9th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
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Genesis 3

1 Now the serpent was more subtle than any other wild creature that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God say, 'You shall not eat of any tree of the garden'?" 2 And the woman said to the serpent, "We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.'" 4 But the serpent said to the woman, "You will not die. 5 For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." 6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons. 8 And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" 10 And he said, "I heard the sound of thee in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself." 11 He said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?" 12 The man said, "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate." 13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this that you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent beguiled me, and I ate." 14 The LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this, cursed are you above all cattle, and above all wild animals; upon your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life. 15 I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel." 16 To the woman he said, "I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." 17 And to Adam he said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, 'You shall not eat of it,' cursed is the ground because of you; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life; 18 thorns and thistles it shall bring forth to you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. 19 In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; you are dust, and to dust you shall return." 20 The man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living. 21 And the LORD God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins, and clothed them. 22 Then the LORD God said, "Behold, the man has become like one of us, knowing good and evil; and now, lest he put forth his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever" -- 23 therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from which he was taken. 24 He drove out the man; and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to guard the way to the tree of life.

Mr. Langosta said @ 2:34am GMT on 9th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
Page 4 of 1189


Genesis 4

1 Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, "I have gotten a man with the help of the LORD." 2 And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a tiller of the ground. 3 In the course of time Cain brought to the LORD an offering of the fruit of the ground, 4 and Abel brought of the firstlings of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, 5 but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. 6 The LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is couching at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it." 8 Cain said to Abel his brother, "Let us go out to the field." And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him. 9 Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" He said, "I do not know; am I my brother's keeper?" 10 And the LORD said, "What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood is crying to me from the ground. 11 And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. 12 When you till the ground, it shall no longer yield to you its strength; you shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth." 13 Cain said to the LORD, "My punishment is greater than I can bear. 14 Behold, thou hast driven me this day away from the ground; and from thy face I shall be hidden; and I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will slay me." 15 Then the LORD said to him, "Not so! If any one slays Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold." And the LORD put a mark on Cain, lest any who came upon him should kill him. 16 Then Cain went away from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, east of Eden. 17 Cain knew his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch; and he built a city, and called the name of the city after the name of his son, Enoch. 18 To Enoch was born Irad; and Irad was the father of Me-hu'ja-el, and Me-hu'ja-el the father of Me-thu'sha-el, and Me-thu'sha-el the father of Lamech. 19 And Lamech took two wives; the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah. 20 Adah bore Jabal; he was the father of those who dwell in tents and have cattle. 21 His brother's name was Jubal; he was the father of all those who play the lyre and pipe. 22 Zillah bore Tubal-cain; he was the forger of all instruments of bronze and iron. The sister of Tubal-cain was Na'amah. 23 Lamech said to his wives: "Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; you wives of Lamech, hearken to what I say: I have slain a man for wounding me, a young man for striking me. 24 If Cain is avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy-sevenfold." 25 And Adam knew his wife again, and she bore a son and called his name Seth, for she said, "God has appointed for me another child instead of Abel, for Cain slew him." 26 To Seth also a son was born, and he called his name Enosh. At that time men began to call upon the name of the LORD.

Mr. Langosta said @ 2:35am GMT on 9th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
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Genesis 5

1 This is the book of the generations of Adam. When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. 2 Male and female he created them, and he blessed them and named them Man when they were created. 3 When Adam had lived a hundred and thirty years, he became the father of a son in his own likeness, after his image, and named him Seth. 4 The days of Adam after he became the father of Seth were eight hundred years; and he had other sons and daughters. 5 Thus all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years; and he died. 6 When Seth had lived a hundred and five years, he became the father of Enosh. 7 Seth lived after the birth of Enosh eight hundred and seven years, and had other sons and daughters. 8 Thus all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years; and he died. 9 When Enosh had lived ninety years, he became the father of Kenan. 10 Enosh lived after the birth of Kenan eight hundred and fifteen years, and had other sons and daughters. 11 Thus all the days of Enosh were nine hundred and five years; and he died. 12 When Kenan had lived seventy years, he became the father of Ma-hal'alel. 13 Kenan lived after the birth of Ma-hal'alel eight hundred and forty years, and had other sons and daughters. 14 Thus all the days of Kenan were nine hundred and ten years; and he died. 15 When Ma-hal'alel had lived sixty-five years, he became the father of Jared. 16 Ma-hal'alel lived after the birth of Jared eight hundred and thirty years, and had other sons and daughters. 17 Thus all the days of Ma-hal'alel were eight hundred and ninety-five years; and he died. 18 When Jared had lived a hundred and sixty-two years he became the father of Enoch. 19 Jared lived after the birth of Enoch eight hundred years, and had other sons and daughters. 20 Thus all the days of Jared were nine hundred and sixty-two years; and he died. 21 When Enoch had lived sixty-five years, he became the father of Methu'selah. 22 Enoch walked with God after the birth of Methu'selah three hundred years, and had other sons and daughters. 23 Thus all the days of Enoch were three hundred and sixty-five years. 24 Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him. 25 When Methu'selah had lived a hundred and eighty-seven years, he became the father of Lamech. 26 Methu'selah lived after the birth of Lamech seven hundred and eighty-two years, and had other sons and daughters. 27 Thus all the days of Methu'selah were nine hundred and sixty-nine years; and he died. 28 When Lamech had lived a hundred and eighty-two years, he became the father of a son, 29 and called his name Noah, saying, "Out of the ground which the LORD has cursed this one shall bring us relief from our work and from the toil of our hands." 30 Lamech lived after the birth of Noah five hundred and ninety-five years, and had other sons and daughters. 31 Thus all the days of Lamech were seven hundred and seventy-seven years; and he died. 32 After Noah was five hundred years old, Noah became the father of Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
Mr. Langosta said @ 2:44pm GMT on 9th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
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Genesis 6

1 When men began to multiply on the face of the ground, and daughters were born to them, 2 the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were fair; and they took to wife such of them as they chose. 3 Then the LORD said, "My spirit shall not abide in man for ever, for he is flesh, but his days shall be a hundred and twenty years." 4 The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men, and they bore children to them. These were the mighty men that were of old, the men of renown. 5 The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And the LORD was sorry that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. 7 So the LORD said, "I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the ground, man and beast and creeping things and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them." 8 But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD. 9 These are the generations of Noah. Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his generation; Noah walked with God. 10 And Noah had three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth. 11 Now the earth was corrupt in God's sight, and the earth was filled with violence. 12 And God saw the earth, and behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted their way upon the earth. 13 And God said to Noah, "I have determined to make an end of all flesh; for the earth is filled with violence through them; behold, I will destroy them with the earth. 14 Make yourself an ark of gopher wood; make rooms in the ark, and cover it inside and out with pitch. 15 This is how you are to make it: the length of the ark three hundred cubits, its breadth fifty cubits, and its height thirty cubits. 16 Make a roof for the ark, and finish it to a cubit above; and set the door of the ark in its side; make it with lower, second, and third decks. 17 For behold, I will bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh in which is the breath of life from under heaven; everything that is on the earth shall die. 18 But I will establish my covenant with you; and you shall come into the ark, you, your sons, your wife, and your sons' wives with you. 19 And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every sort into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female. 20 Of the birds according to their kinds, and of the animals according to their kinds, of every creeping thing of the ground according to its kind, two of every sort shall come in to you, to keep them alive. 21 Also take with you every sort of food that is eaten, and store it up; and it shall serve as food for you and for them." 22 Noah did this; he did all that God commanded him.

Mr. Langosta said @ 2:44pm GMT on 9th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
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Genesis 7

1 Then the LORD said to Noah, "Go into the ark, you and all your household, for I have seen that you are righteous before me in this generation. 2 Take with you seven pairs of all clean animals, the male and his mate; and a pair of the animals that are not clean, the male and his mate; 3 and seven pairs of the birds of the air also, male and female, to keep their kind alive upon the face of all the earth. 4 For in seven days I will send rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living thing that I have made I will blot out from the face of the ground." 5 And Noah did all that the LORD had commanded him. 6 Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters came upon the earth. 7 And Noah and his sons and his wife and his sons' wives with him went into the ark, to escape the waters of the flood. 8 Of clean animals, and of animals that are not clean, and of birds, and of everything that creeps on the ground, 9 two and two, male and female, went into the ark with Noah, as God had commanded Noah. 10 And after seven days the waters of the flood came upon the earth. 11 In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, on the seventeenth day of the month, on that day all the fountains of the great deep burst forth, and the windows of the heavens were opened. 12 And rain fell upon the earth forty days and forty nights. 13 On the very same day Noah and his sons, Shem and Ham and Japheth, and Noah's wife and the three wives of his sons with them entered the ark, 14 they and every beast according to its kind, and all the cattle according to their kinds, and every creeping thing that creeps on the earth according to its kind, and every bird according to its kind, every bird of every sort. 15 They went into the ark with Noah, two and two of all flesh in which there was the breath of life. 16 And they that entered, male and female of all flesh, went in as God had commanded him; and the LORD shut him in. 17 The flood continued forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bore up the ark, and it rose high above the earth. 18 The waters prevailed and increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark floated on the face of the waters. 19 And the waters prevailed so mightily upon the earth that all the high mountains under the whole heaven were covered; 20 the waters prevailed above the mountains, covering them fifteen cubits deep. 21 And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, birds, cattle, beasts, all swarming creatures that swarm upon the earth, and every man; 22 everything on the dry land in whose nostrils was the breath of life died. 23 He blotted out every living thing that was upon the face of the ground, man and animals and creeping things and birds of the air; they were blotted out from the earth. Only Noah was left, and those that were with him in the ark. 24 And the waters prevailed upon the earth a hundred and fifty days.
Mr. Langosta said @ 2:45pm GMT on 9th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
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Genesis 8

1 But God remembered Noah and all the beasts and all the cattle that were with him in the ark. And God made a wind blow over the earth, and the waters subsided; 2 the fountains of the deep and the windows of the heavens were closed, the rain from the heavens was restrained, 3 and the waters receded from the earth continually. At the end of a hundred and fifty days the waters had abated; 4 and in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, the ark came to rest upon the mountains of Ar'arat. 5 And the waters continued to abate until the tenth month; in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, the tops of the mountains were seen. 6 At the end of forty days Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made, 7 and sent forth a raven; and it went to and fro until the waters were dried up from the earth. 8 Then he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters had subsided from the face of the ground; 9 but the dove found no place to set her foot, and she returned to him to the ark, for the waters were still on the face of the whole earth. So he put forth his hand and took her and brought her into the ark with him. 10 He waited another seven days, and again he sent forth the dove out of the ark; 11 and the dove came back to him in the evening, and lo, in her mouth a freshly plucked olive leaf; so Noah knew that the waters had subsided from the earth. 12 Then he waited another seven days, and sent forth the dove; and she did not return to him any more. 13 In the six hundred and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried from off the earth; and Noah removed the covering of the ark, and looked, and behold, the face of the ground was dry. 14 In the second month, on the twenty-seventh day of the month, the earth was dry. 15 Then God said to Noah, 16 "Go forth from the ark, you and your wife, and your sons and your sons' wives with you. 17 Bring forth with you every living thing that is with you of all flesh--birds and animals and every creeping thing that creeps on the earth--that they may breed abundantly on the earth, and be fruitful and multiply upon the earth." 18 So Noah went forth, and his sons and his wife and his sons' wives with him. 19 And every beast, every creeping thing, and every bird, everything that moves upon the earth, went forth by families out of the ark. 20 Then Noah built an altar to the LORD, and took of every clean animal and of every clean bird, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. 21 And when the LORD smelled the pleasing odor, the LORD said in his heart, "I will never again curse the ground because of man, for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I ever again destroy every living creature as I have done. 22 While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease."

Mr. Langosta said @ 2:46pm GMT on 9th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
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Genesis 9

1 And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth. 2 The fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every bird of the air, upon everything that creeps on the ground and all the fish of the sea; into your hand they are delivered. 3 Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you; and as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything. 4 Only you shall not eat flesh with its life, that is, its blood. 5 For your lifeblood I will surely require a reckoning; of every beast I will require it and of man; of every man's brother I will require the life of man. 6 Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed; for God made man in his own image. 7 And you, be fruitful and multiply, bring forth abundantly on the earth and multiply in it." 8 Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him, 9 "Behold, I establish my covenant with you and your descendants after you, 10 and with every living creature that is with you, the birds, the cattle, and every beast of the earth with you, as many as came out of the ark. 11 I establish my covenant with you, that never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of a flood, and never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth." 12 And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant which I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: 13 I set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14 When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. 16 When the bow is in the clouds, I will look upon it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth." 17 God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant which I have established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth." 18 The sons of Noah who went forth from the ark were Shem, Ham, and Japheth. Ham was the father of Canaan. 19 These three were the sons of Noah; and from these the whole earth was peopled. 20 Noah was the first tiller of the soil. He planted a vineyard; 21 and he drank of the wine, and became drunk, and lay uncovered in his tent. 22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. 23 Then Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it upon both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; their faces were turned away, and they did not see their father's nakedness. 24 When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him, 25 he said, "Cursed be Canaan; a slave of slaves shall he be to his brothers." 26 He also said, "Blessed by the LORD my God be Shem; and let Canaan be his slave." 27 God enlarge Japheth, and let him dwell in the tents of Shem; and let Canaan be his slave." 28 After the flood Noah lived three hundred and fifty years. 29 All the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years; and he died.

Mr. Langosta said @ 2:47pm GMT on 9th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
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Genesis 10

1 These are the generations of the sons of Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth; sons were born to them after the flood. 2 The sons of Japheth: Gomer, Magog, Madai, Javan, Tubal, Meshech, and Tiras. 3 The sons of Gomer: Ash'kenaz, Riphath, and Togar'mah. 4 The sons of Javan: Eli'shah, Tarshish, Kittim, and Do'danim. 5 From these the coastland peoples spread. These are the sons of Japheth in their lands, each with his own language, by their families, in their nations. 6 The sons of Ham: Cush, Egypt, Put, and Canaan. 7 The sons of Cush: Seba, Hav'ilah, Sabtah, Ra'amah, and Sab'teca. The sons of Ra'amah: Sheba and Dedan. 8 Cush became the father of Nimrod; he was the first on earth to be a mighty man. 9 He was a mighty hunter before the LORD; therefore it is said, "Like Nimrod a mighty hunter before the LORD." 10 The beginning of his kingdom was Ba'bel, Erech, and Accad, all of them in the land of Shinar. 11 From that land he went into Assyria, and built Nin'eveh, Reho'both-Ir, Calah, and 12 Resen between Nin'eveh and Calah; that is the great city. 13 Egypt became the father of Ludim, An'amim, Leha'bim, Naph-tu'him, 14 Pathru'sim, Caslu'him (whence came the Philistines), and Caph'torim. 15 Canaan became the father of Sidon his first-born, and Heth, 16 and the Jeb'usites, the Amorites, the Gir'gashites, 17 the Hivites, the Arkites, the Sinites, 18 the Ar'vadites, the Zem'arites, and the Ha'mathites. Afterward the families of the Canaanites spread abroad. 19 And the territory of the Canaanites extended from Sidon, in the direction of Gerar, as far as Gaza, and in the direction of Sodom, Gomor'rah, Admah, and Zeboi'im, as far as Lasha. 20 These are the sons of Ham, by their families, their languages, their lands, and their nations. 21 To Shem also, the father of all the children of Eber, the elder brother of Japheth, children were born. 22 The sons of Shem: Elam, Asshur, Arpach'shad, Lud, and Aram. 23 The sons of Aram: Uz, Hul, Gether, and Mash. 24 Arpach'shad became the father of Shelah; and Shelah became the father of Eber. 25 To Eber were born two sons: the name of the one was Peleg, for in his days the earth was divided, and his brother's name was Joktan. 26 Joktan became the father of Almo'dad, Sheleph, Hazarma'veth, Jerah, 27 Hador'am, Uzal, Diklah, 28 Obal, Abim'a-el, Sheba, 29 Ophir, Hav'ilah, and Jobab; all these were the sons of Joktan. 30 The territory in which they lived extended from Mesha in the direction of Sephar to the hill country of the east. 31 These are the sons of Shem, by their families, their languages, their lands, and their nations. 32 These are the families of the sons of Noah, according to their genealogies, in their nations; and from these the nations spread abroad on the earth after the flood.

Mr. Langosta said @ 3:57am GMT on 10th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
Page 11 of 1189


Genesis 11

1 Now the whole earth had one language and few words. 2 And as men migrated from the east, they found a plain in the land of Shinar and settled there. 3 And they said to one another, "Come, let us make bricks, and burn them thoroughly." And they had brick for stone, and bitumen for mortar. 4 Then they said, "Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth." 5 And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the sons of men had built. 6 And the LORD said, "Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do; and nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them. 7 Come, let us go down, and there confuse their language, that they may not understand one another's speech." 8 So the LORD scattered them abroad from there over the face of all the earth, and they left off building the city. 9 Therefore its name was called Ba'bel, because there the LORD confused the language of all the earth; and from there the LORD scattered them abroad over the face of all the earth. 10 These are the descendants of Shem. When Shem was a hundred years old, he became the father of Arpach'shad two years after the flood; 11 and Shem lived after the birth of Arpach'shad five hundred years, and had other sons and daughters. 12 When Arpach'shad had lived thirty-five years, he became the father of Shelah; 13 and Arpach'shad lived after the birth of Shelah four hundred and three years, and had other sons and daughters. 14 When Shelah had lived thirty years, he became the father of Eber; 15 and Shelah lived after the birth of Eber four hundred and three years, and had other sons and daughters. 16 When Eber had lived thirty-four years, he became the father of Peleg; 17 and Eber lived after the birth of Peleg four hundred and thirty years, and had other sons and daughters. 18 When Peleg had lived thirty years, he became the father of Re'u; 19 and Peleg lived after the birth of Re'u two hundred and nine years, and had other sons and daughters. 20 When Re'u had lived thirty-two years, he became the father of Serug; 21 and Re'u lived after the birth of Serug two hundred and seven years, and had other sons and daughters. 22 When Serug had lived thirty years, he became the father of Nahor; 23 and Serug lived after the birth of Nahor two hundred years, and had other sons and daughters. 24 When Nahor had lived twenty-nine years, he became the father of Terah; 25 and Nahor lived after the birth of Terah a hundred and nineteen years, and had other sons and daughters. 26 When Terah had lived seventy years, he became the father of Abram, Nahor, and Haran. 27 Now these are the descendants of Terah. Terah was the father of Abram, Nahor, and Haran; and Haran was the father of Lot. 28 Haran died before his father Terah in the land of his birth, in Ur of the Chalde'ans. 29 And Abram and Nahor took wives; the name of Abram's wife was Sar'ai, and the name of Nahor's wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran the father of Milcah and Iscah. 30 Now Sar'ai was barren; she had no child. 31 Terah took Abram his son and Lot the son of Haran, his grandson, and Sar'ai his daughter-in-law, his son Abram's wife, and they went forth together from Ur of the Chalde'ans to go into the land of Canaan; but when they came to Haran, they settled there. 32 The days of Terah were two hundred and five years; and Terah died in Haran.

Mr. Langosta said @ 3:57am GMT on 10th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
Page 12 of 1189


Genesis 12

1 Now the LORD said to Abram, "Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. 2 And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. 3 I will bless those who bless you, and him who curses you I will curse; and by you all the families of the earth shall bless themselves." 4 So Abram went, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran. 5 And Abram took Sar'ai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all their possessions which they had gathered, and the persons that they had gotten in Haran; and they set forth to go to the land of Canaan. When they had come to the land of Canaan, 6 Abram passed through the land to the place at Shechem, to the oak of Moreh. At that time the Canaanites were in the land. 7 Then the LORD appeared to Abram, and said, "To your descendants I will give this land." So he built there an altar to the LORD, who had appeared to him. 8 Thence he removed to the mountain on the east of Bethel, and pitched his tent, with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east; and there he built an altar to the LORD and called on the name of the LORD. 9 And Abram journeyed on, still going toward the Negeb. 10 Now there was a famine in the land. So Abram went down to Egypt to sojourn there, for the famine was severe in the land. 11 When he was about to enter Egypt, he said to Sar'ai his wife, "I know that you are a woman beautiful to behold; 12 and when the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'This is his wife'; then they will kill me, but they will let you live. 13 Say you are my sister, that it may go well with me because of you, and that my life may be spared on your account." 14 When Abram entered Egypt the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. 15 And when the princes of Pharaoh saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh. And the woman was taken into Pharaoh's house. 16 And for her sake he dealt well with Abram; and he had sheep, oxen, he-asses, menservants, maidservants, she-asses, and camels. 17 But the LORD afflicted Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sar'ai, Abram's wife. 18 So Pharaoh called Abram, and said, "What is this you have done to me? Why did you not tell me that she was your wife? 19 Why did you say, 'She is my sister,' so that I took her for my wife? Now then, here is your wife, take her, and be gone." 20 And Pharaoh gave men orders concerning him; and they set him on the way, with his wife and all that he had.

Mr. Langosta said @ 3:58am GMT on 10th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
Page 13 of 1189


Genesis 13

1 So Abram went up from Egypt, he and his wife, and all that he had, and Lot with him, into the Negeb. 2 Now Abram was very rich in cattle, in silver, and in gold. 3 And he journeyed on from the Negeb as far as Bethel, to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, 4 to the place where he had made an altar at the first; and there Abram called on the name of the LORD. 5 And Lot, who went with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents, 6 so that the land could not support both of them dwelling together; for their possessions were so great that they could not dwell together, 7 and there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram's cattle and the herdsmen of Lot's cattle. At that time the Canaanites and the Per'izzites dwelt in the land. 8 Then Abram said to Lot, "Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen; for we are kinsmen. 9 Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself from me. If you take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if you take the right hand, then I will go to the left." 10 And Lot lifted up his eyes, and saw that the Jordan valley was well watered everywhere like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, in the direction of Zo'ar; this was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomor'rah. 11 So Lot chose for himself all the Jordan valley, and Lot journeyed east; thus they separated from each other. 12 Abram dwelt in the land of Canaan, while Lot dwelt among the cities of the valley and moved his tent as far as Sodom. 13 Now the men of Sodom were wicked, great sinners against the LORD. 14 The LORD said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, "Lift up your eyes, and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward; 15 for all the land which you see I will give to you and to your descendants for ever. 16 I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth; so that if one can count the dust of the earth, your descendants also can be counted. 17 Arise, walk through the length and the breadth of the land, for I will give it to you." 18 So Abram moved his tent, and came and dwelt by the oaks of Mamre, which are at Hebron; and there he built an altar to the LORD.

Mr. Langosta said @ 3:59am GMT on 10th Mar [Score:-1 Overrated]
Page 14 of 1189


Genesis 14

1 In the days of Am'raphel king of Shinar, Ar'ioch king of Ella'sar, Ched-or-lao'mer king of Elam, and Tidal king of Goi'im, 2 these kings made war with Bera king of Sodom, Birsha king of Gomor'rah, Shinab king of Admah, Sheme'ber king of Zeboi'im, and the king of Bela (that is, Zo'ar). 3 And all these joined forces in the Valley of Siddim (that is, the Salt Sea). 4 Twelve years they had served Ched-or-lao'mer, but in the thirteenth year they rebelled. 5 In the fourteenth year Ched-or-lao'mer and the kings who were with him came and subdued the Reph'aim in Ash'teroth-karna'im, the Zuzim in Ham, the Emim in Sha'veh-kiriatha'im, 6 and the Horites in their Mount Se'ir as far as El-paran on the border of the wilderness; 7 then they turned back and came to Enmish'pat (that is, Kadesh), and subdued all the country of the Amal'ekites, and also the Amorites who dwelt in Haz'azon-ta'mar. 8 Then the king of Sodom, the king of Gomor'rah, the king of Admah, the king of Zeboi'im, and the king of Bela (that is, Zo'ar) went out, and they joined battle in the Valley of Siddim 9 with Ched-or-lao'mer king of Elam, Tidal king of Goi'im, Am'raphel king of Shinar, and Ar'ioch king of Ella'sar, four kings against five. 10 Now the Valley of Siddim was full of bitumen pits; and as the kings of Sodom and Gomor'rah fled, some fell into them, and the rest fled to the mountain. 11 So the enemy took all the goods of Sodom and Gomor'rah, and all their provisions, and went their way; 12 they also took Lot, the son of Abram's brother, who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods, and departed. 13 Then one who had escaped came, and told Abram the Hebrew, who was living by the oaks of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol and of Aner; these were allies of Abram. 14 When Abram heard that his kinsman had been taken captive, he led forth his trained men, born in his house, three hundred and eighteen of them, and went in pursuit as far as Dan. 15 And he divided his forces against them by night, he and his servants, and routed them and pursued them to Hobah, north of Damascus. 16 Then he brought back all the goods, and also brought back his kinsman Lot with his goods, and the women and the people. 17 After his return from the defeat of Ched-or-lao'mer and the kings who were with him, the king of Sodom went out to meet him at the Valley of Shaveh (that is, the King's Valley). 18 And Mel-chiz'edek king of Salem brought out bread and wine; he was priest of God Most High. 19 And he blessed him and said, "Blessed be Abram by God Most High, maker of heaven and earth; 20 and blessed be God Most High, who has delivered your enemies into your hand!" And Abram gave him a tenth of everything. 21 And the king of Sodom said to Abram, "Give me the persons, but take the goods for yourself." 22 But Abram said to the king of Sodom, "I have sworn to the LORD God Most High, maker of heaven and earth, 23 that I would not take a thread or a sandal-thong or anything that is yours, lest you should say, 'I have made Abram rich.' 24 I will take nothing but what the young men have eaten, and the share of the men who went with me; let Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre take their share."
Mr. Langosta said @ 3:59am GMT on 10th Mar
Page 15 of 1189


Genesis 15

1 After these things the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision, "Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great." 2 But Abram said, "O Lord GOD, what wilt thou give me, for I continue childless, and the heir of my house is Elie'zer of Damascus?" 3 And Abram said, "Behold, thou hast given me no offspring; and a slave born in my house will be my heir." 4 And behold, the word of the LORD came to him, "This man shall not be your heir; your own son shall be your heir." 5 And he brought him outside and said, "Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them." Then he said to him, "So shall your descendants be." 6 And he believed the LORD; and he reckoned it to him as righteousness. 7 And he said to him, "I am the LORD who brought you from Ur of the Chalde'ans, to give you this land to possess." 8 But he said, "O Lord GOD, how am I to know that I shall possess it?" 9 He said to him, "Bring me a heifer three years old, a she-goat three years old, a ram three years old, a turtledove, and a young pigeon." 10 And he brought him all these, cut them in two, and laid each half over against the other; but he did not cut the birds in two. 11 And when birds of prey came down upon the carcasses, Abram drove them away. 12 As the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell on Abram; and lo, a dread and great darkness fell upon him. 13 Then the LORD said to Abram, "Know of a surety that your descendants will be sojourners in a land that is not theirs, and will be slaves there, and they will be oppressed for four hundred years; 14 but I will bring judgment on the nation which they serve, and afterward they shall come out with great possessions. 15 As for yourself, you shall go to your fathers in peace; you shall be buried in a good old age. 16 And they shall come back here in the fourth generation; for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet complete." 17 When the sun had gone down and it was dark, behold, a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch passed between these pieces. 18 On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying, "To your descendants I give this land, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the river Euphra'tes, 19 the land of the Ken'ites, the Ken'izzites, the Kad'monites, 20 the Hittites, the Per'izzites, the Reph'aim, 21 the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Gir'gashites and the Jeb'usites."

housewares said @ 9:20pm GMT on 11th Mar [Score:1 Insightful]
[ "PLACED BY THE GIDEONS" ]
Adam said @ 8:45pm GMT on 15th Aug
God gives good head!
At124 said @ 10:21pm GMT on 15th Jul [Score:-1 Overrated]
n0ah said @ 7:23pm GMT on 23rd Apr [Score:-1]
Robyn said @ 1:34am GMT on 10th Mar
It's about 7pm, NZDST.

Or is it?
Robyn said @ 1:37am GMT on 10th Mar
It's about 7pm, NZDST.

Or is it?
tduck said @ 3:35pm GMT on 10th Mar
Takes 33 needles pumping roughly 0.25 nanolitres insulin solution to have effect slowing heroin induced trauma.
SE Police said @ 2:35pm GMT on 11th Mar
Scuse me, folks, but this post has been marked as offlimits. Please move along. Nothing to see here.
donnie said @ 7:04pm GMT on 28th Mar
these aren't the droids you're looking for...
Chop-Logik said @ 5:13am GMT on 14th Mar
thank god for american jesus
Mr. Langosta said @ 2:11am GMT on 15th Mar
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
donnie said @ 7:06pm GMT on 28th Mar
...who peed on your carpet, dude?
f00m said @ 7:04pm GMT on 10th Apr
......sorry
relm said @ 11:00pm GMT on 1st Feb
SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNIE
Gunner v2.0 said @ 7:06am GMT on 16th Mar
Is it sad that I'm going to brag to my friends that I left this comment?
p_headless_g said @ 10:09pm GMT on 16th Mar [Score:1 Insightful]
If God wanted you to keep your legs he wouldn't have invented chainsaws and local anaesthetic.
weaselfucker said @ 2:57am GMT on 22nd Mar
I have to go the bathroom.

Alone.
tomble said @ 9:03am GMT on 28th Mar
Help! I'm trapped in the forbidden zone...
chynkitten said @ 11:32am GMT on 28th Mar
where's the pissing gif? i was here? in jimsbathroom :)
Spunky_Monkey said @ 3:06pm GMT on 29th Mar
Vampire_X said @ 6:27pm GMT on 29th Mar
[ploink] said @ 3:52am GMT on 31st Mar
[ploink] said @ 3:54am GMT on 31st Mar
<%@ Page language = "VB" %>





Please enter

First Name:

Last Name:

Address:

Sex




On which state would you like information:
[ploink] said @ 3:56am GMT on 31st Mar
well that went just about as badly as i was expecting
cancer said @ 1:41pm GMT on 1st Apr
arf!
cancer said @ 1:42pm GMT on 1st Apr
arf! arf!
Fenny said @ 12:17pm GMT on 10th Apr
Unf UNf UNf UNf
sensibleb said @ 12:52pm GMT on 10th Apr
This comment is an unworthy self link.
Trigger said @ 3:53pm GMT on 12th Apr
THE HELL IT IS!!!
daboo said @ 4:41pm GMT on 12th Apr
Debating whether to copy the html code for this page and paste it here...
Mr. Langosta said @ 2:26pm GMT on 14th Apr
923?
Spunky_Monkey said @ 3:48pm GMT on 14th Apr
testing fake replies, attempt 1




src="Sensible Erection #sensibleerection_files/spacer.gif" width=0
border=0>		 style="PADDING-RIGHT: 4px; PADDING-LEFT: 4px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 4px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 1px solid; PADDING-TOP: 4px; BORDER-BOTTOM: #999999 1px dashed; BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff"
width="100%"> href="http://www.sensibleerection.com/profile.php/9999999">Mr Nobody said
@ 6:12am GMT on 10th Jan - href="http://www.sensibleerection.com/comment.php/34260/305377">moderate/reply

Big testicles
sensibleb said @ 4:36pm GMT on 14th Apr
(maybe a test two is in order) :D
windex said @ 4:34pm GMT on 14th Apr
omgo oomgomgomg i can postoz.
Nigredo666 said @ 7:32pm GMT on 14th Apr
April 14th
Autobots, roll out.
Dna01 said @ 1:52am GMT on 21st Apr
what's that boy? Timmy, down the well? I don't care, get me a beer.
4/20/04
supersonico said @ 5:09pm GMT on 24th Apr
here is
ricky60 said @ 10:14pm GMT on 2nd May [Score:-4 WTF]
stinger
EPT said @ 9:41am GMT on 3rd Aug [Score:-3 Funny]
EPT said @ 6:57am GMT on 22nd Sep [Score:-5]
Mr. Langosta said @ 3:25am GMT on 8th May
lachrymose clochard
Trigger said @ 10:19am GMT on 8th May
OMG!!
Trigger said @ 11:13am GMT on 22nd May
IT'S THE END OF TIME!!



I IT, YOU !! MAGIC TAB PLZ!!!
donnie said @ 9:02pm GMT on 5th Apr
If i cast antipode, do aussies and kiwis appear and attack? =0
Fenny said @ 5:43pm GMT on 8th May
...waazat?
EPT said @ 4:32am GMT on 15th May
Alright, who fucked the formatting for 0?
Misanthrope said @ 3:58am GMT on 22nd May
Just so that asshole isnt the last post on the page
p_headless_g said @ 6:20pm GMT on 24th May
I WANT TO FUCK YOUR KNEECAPS.
WITH MY KNEECAPS.
FUCKING SEX RHINO said @ 7:54pm GMT on 24th May
I CONCUR.
WITH MY COCK.
Nada said @ 5:46am GMT on 14th Jul
lol!
sd said @ 5:47am GMT on 14th Jul
sdfds
co.pilot said @ 1:55am GMT on 26th May
Unf.
dapancho said @ 12:06am GMT on 27th May
whoa
unlimitedawesomeness said @ 5:35pm GMT on 3rd Jun
[insert something clever only to me here]
Sgt Harry 'Snapper' Organs.. said @ 8:17pm GMT on 9th Jun
Ugh....
JabberWokky said @ 10:59pm GMT on 20th Jun
Mother of Ghod, help meeeee!!!

http://www.timewarp.org/
ukdollars said @ 12:12am GMT on 11th Nov
I can't see anything beyond this point,
spazm said @ 12:12pm GMT on 8th Jul
name_withheld said @ 12:26pm GMT on 8th Jul
ukdollars said @ 12:11am GMT on 11th Nov
i can't see anything below this post...Is this it, the edge of the internet?
jbflyer8621 said @ 11:20am GMT on 15th Apr
Hello!
Is there anybody in there????
Just nod if you can hear me.
But WAIT! How can you hear written words??
krupa said @ 7:42am GMT on 3rd Aug
Can you tell me where it hurts?
sunray said @ 12:39pm GMT on 8th Jul
There is a girl I hang out a lot with, often at her request. Sometimes I think about banging this girl, or asking her out on a date.

Usually the time I start to have these thoughts, she will tell me a story about some dude that asked her out, and say "the ego on him..."

So usually I just listen to her stories and get no sex.

Dammit.
Chop-Logik said @ 1:36pm GMT on 10th Jul [Score:1 Insightful]
Pour some liquor in her. If that fails, pour some GHB in her liquor. If that doesnt work, pour some baseball bat into her head and have your way with her.
Trigger said @ 6:25pm GMT on 10th Jul
I'd listen to this guy, how do you think he gets most of his pr0n pics? There's a little bit of his love in each of those pictures.
luminar51 said @ 6:17am GMT on 10th Jul
07/10/04
I've finally made it to the source of everything. My life is complete.
Halcyonide said @ 2:30am GMT on 12th Jul
07/12/04 ditto here.
f00m@nB@r said @ 9:23am GMT on 15th Jul
eh?
GehnRahl said @ 7:35pm GMT on 30th Jul
awww i want teh vote and mod the secret
mancko said @ 11:35pm GMT on 1st Aug
I have arrived.
Spunky_Monkey said @ 12:25pm GMT on 20th Aug [Score:-1 Overrated] 




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=++=s==s======ss==++++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<(<<<<++++==sssssszsDBB



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=+++=sssssss=+++<+++<<<(((~(((((<<<<<(((((<<<<++<+==zhhhDDhz



s=++==zszs++<+<<++<<<<((((~~(<<<<<<<<((((<<<<+<<++++shDhzzzz



s====szz=++<<++<+<<<((((~~~~((<<<((<+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<+==++++=z



zs==+=s++<<<<+++<<<<((((((<((<<++<<+++++<<<((((<<(<==<(<<(+s



z=++++=+<<<<++<+<<(((((((((<<+<<<<<++<<<(((~(~(<(+=+((~~((<=



s+++===++++<<<<<(((~~~~~(~~((<<<<+<+<<<(<(((((<<++<(~-~(~(<=



ss=+=ss=ss=+<<<(~~~~~~-----~((<<<++++<<<+<+<<<+<((~~---(~~(+



ss=+====sss+<<<+(((~~-----~-~(<<<<<+<<+<<<<((<+<(~---(~~-~~<



s=+=+==+=+++++<(<((~--'''--~(<++<<<<+++<(++=+++(-~~(<(~--~-(



z==s=+=+++++<(<(~~(((~-'~~<<<<<++++++==++==s+<+<(~~(-''----(



ssss++=+==+<<<(~~~~((((((<<<+++===+========s+<<(~-'''-~~~~~<



sss===+++++<<<(~~~~~(((((<+==ss======+==ss+<~((-----~((~~((<



ssss+==<<++=+<(~~~~~~(((((<<==+==+<++==szs<((<(~~~~~~(((((~(



sss====<<+++<(~-~~(~~~~(((<<+<<+=++++===ss+<<+(~((<<<<<(~~~~



zzs=s=s+<+++<(---(<(~<<<((+<~-+ss=ss==+==z=+++(((~~~~~~~~---



hzs=====<+++<--~-~~(~-+~<+<(+<====+ss+++=sss+<~--''--~~((~((



hhzs++==++++<~-~~~~~~(~<((+ss=s=s=+=ssss=sss<~~~~---~((((<+=



<shz====++=+(~-~(~((((+<((<ssszzszzzzss=+szz<(~~(~~~((<<++=s



-(hzs=+==+=+<(-~~((<(<=<<(+sszzszssszss<=szz+(((((<<<<<<<(<+



-'zzz==ss+==<(~~~~(<<(<(((<<szssssssssz=sszz=<~(<<<<(((~~~(<



~'+zsz=+=s=++(-~~(((((((((((==+ss=+=ssssssz++=<(~~---~~~~~(<



~-<zsss=+ss=+<((<<(((<<<<<((=sssss=sssssssz=++~~---~~(((((<+



~-~zs=s==ss=++<<<<<(<<<<<+<<=zsss==szsss==ss==(~~~~((<<<<+ss



~-~hz==+s=s=++<<(<((<<<<+<<+<szss===sss===ssss((((<<+++++=s=



(-(zzs=+==s=+<<((<<<(((((<<+==+==+=+<+++++==ss++<+++++++++++



(~<szz======+<(--~((~~~~~~~++===++++++++++++++====++<<(<++++



~~+====s=+===+<(~(((~~--'-~<ss==+<<<<<<<++++++=+++<<(((+===+



(~+++<+====ss==++<<<<<((~((+==++<(((<<<++=+====+<<(<((<+++++



((<=+<<<++===ss====+<<<<<+++=++++<<+++++=====++<<<<(<<==++++



(((+++(~(<++<<++======+++===s==+========+=+++++<<<<<<+++++==



((~(s+(~-<+++++<<++=====ssss====+===+=+++====+++<+<<<==+++=s



<(<~+s+((<<(<++=++++===ssss================s===++++++=
Trigger said @ 10:56pm GMT on 20th Aug
Trigger said @ 11:03pm GMT on 20th Aug
Trigger said @ 10:59pm GMT on 20th Aug
Just ignore me I'm just trying to fix the damn page... THANX SPUNKY.... /DIV!!!!!!
letoofdune said @ 9:19pm GMT on 7th Sep
Trigger said @ 9:40pm GMT on 7th Sep
OMG THAT ASS ALMOST MADE ME SIGN UP FOR HER SITE!!!
graham said @ 2:52am GMT on 8th Sep
WHO BROKE THIS??
p_headless_g said @ 7:55pm GMT on 10th Sep
I BLAME YOU.
YARR.
von_brandis said @ 9:35am GMT on 8th Sep
four oh four
p_headless_g said @ 8:00pm GMT on 10th Sep
p_headless_g said @ 8:07pm GMT on 10th Sep
Bugger... I mean:
Trigger said @ 8:08pm GMT on 10th Sep
I liked the first batch better....
me_2 said @ 2:47am GMT on 21st Sep
That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane -
Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn -
world serves its own needs, don't misserve your own needs. Feed it up a knock,
speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height,
down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for
hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the furies
breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered
crop. Look at that low plane! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population,
common group, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its
own needs, listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright
light, feeling pretty psyched.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign tower. Slash and burn,
return, listen to yourself churn. Lock him in uniform and book burning,
blood letting. Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate. Light a candle,
light a motive. Step down, step down. Watch a heel crush, crush. Uh oh,
this means no fear - cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament,
a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives
and I decline.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite.
Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs.
Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic,
slam, but neck, right? Right.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...fine...

(It's time I had some time alone)
letoofdune said @ 1:08pm GMT on 21st Sep
THIS IS FUCKED UP
sensibleb said @ 1:52pm GMT on 21st Sep
So is your mother... by my COCK! <3
Trigger said @ 2:06pm GMT on 21st Sep
For those of you who couldn't read it...

he said:

"So is your mother... by my COCK! <3"
sensibleb said @ 2:06pm GMT on 21st Sep
:O

LOUDMOUF!!!!1
letoofdune said @ 2:47pm GMT on 21st Sep
Shit, I read it, and now I'm hurt. My mother was a saint.

SAINT OF FREAKY SHIT! WHOOO!!
werjiokplwertg7643398ov said @ 1:25am GMT on 27th Apr
wtf?
Kamagurka said @ 2:58pm GMT on 21st Sep
BLINK
Vampire_X said @ 4:30pm GMT on 21st Sep
JELLYBEANS!!!!!!!11111222
graham said @ 4:22pm GMT on 28th Mar

a {
color: FFFFFF;
text-decoration: underline overline line-through
}
a:hover {
color: FFFFFF;
text-decoration: none; filter:blur(Add=0, Direction=135, Strength=5); height:0;
}
o_o said @ 1:08am GMT on 14th Oct


SE's SUPER SECRET HIDEOUT!!!!!11111
mao tse helen said @ 5:50am GMT on 14th Oct
oooOOOooo, this is spooky. Like finding a gigantic Boba Fett helmet in the middle of the desert.
At124 said @ 8:31am GMT on 16th Oct
http://www.sensibleerection.com/entry.php/41085
At124 said @ 8:31am GMT on 16th Oct
http://bbspot.com/Images/News_Features/2004/10/file_extensions/gif.jpg
f00m@nB@r said @ 8:55am GMT on 28th Oct
-->

huh?
ckfahrenheit said @ 11:23pm GMT on 28th Oct
O TEH COLORS
Ifrit said @ 5:42pm GMT on 29th Oct
awesome, I found the awesome lost page of SE again!!! WEEE!!!
leswilkerson said @ 5:47pm GMT on 29th Oct
BEST
























THREAD








































EVARZ!




































GGGGGGGGGGGgg



































GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr




















































dfdfd
At124 said @ 5:57pm GMT on 1st Nov
Only the marque&blink tag should be allowed!
tero-kun said @ 3:42pm GMT on 4th Nov
Tero was here
nonsense said @ 7:47am GMT on 5th Nov
Interesting. 11/4/04
nonsense said @ 7:48am GMT on 5th Nov
Motherfucker.
nonsense said @ 7:47am GMT on 5th Nov
Interesting. 11/5/04
nonsense said @ 3:06am GMT on 30th Nov
11/30/04. Thanks, banksr0.
At124 said @ 10:16pm GMT on 11th Nov
WTF
At124 said @ 10:18pm GMT on 11th Nov
WTF
kidnapper #1 said @ 4:06am GMT on 14th Nov [Score:1 Interesting]
heLLo  mother  Leopard  


i   have  your  cub.  you must  protect  her  but  that  wiLL  be  expensive.  ten  thousand  wrapped  in  brown  paper.  i  wiLL  be  the  hyena,  you'LL  see.
f00m@nB@r said @ 12:37am GMT on 23rd Nov
f00
f00m@nB@r said @ 12:37am GMT on 23rd Nov
f00
ChewyStick said @ 12:01am GMT on 25th Nov
Kerfuckered!
CockMaster r Us said @ 9:28pm GMT on 6th Dec
Wtf is going on here!
david_the_bumblebee said @ 9:42pm GMT on 6th Dec
OMFG
edl69 said @ 6:21pm GMT on 10th Dec
Wow, I've reached the end of the world. And it's old.
jkd003 said @ 11:33pm GMT on 10th Dec
i am now the happyst man alive i feel the jive a cat that must be revived xj9 you will join the hive I've cum up with so many words that end in ive so who is going to give me a hive five i mean high five could it be that ive bing acken oiver by ive i hop i stay alive i just took the dive in to this scary pive i mean place i dont want to diVe oh no help me what have ive beecome goodbive
p_headless_g said @ 10:20pm GMT on 21st Jan
src="http://www.post-literate.com/gerpunx/archives/hasselhoffian-recursion.gif">
gos_jim said @ 4:44pm GMT on 31st Jan
Well.... that's interesting. o.O
relm said @ 4:22pm GMT on 23rd Feb
"Ford!" Arthur said, "there's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out!"
leezurd said @ 9:03pm GMT on 8th Mar
/me tucks this away ----->here.

Funny.
I thought by my 1000th comment, I would have something more meaningful, or funny or something involved.
But, I worked all day. Normally my day off, it was just a day from Hell. Everyone had some problem or another...
It's OK, though. I'm still breathing, and I'm home now.

Time to slip into a nice Rum&Coke, and click through the posts. Fenny may be on. Or, maybe, I'll bounce on to (M)IRC (<---Thanks CHOP!) and see if Sensibleb (May I call you 'bleb'?) is around. I never seem to catch Graham anywhere :/

Or, maybe, just maybe, the Rum might lead me to ES...
popoBo said @ 12:31am GMT on 11th Mar
WOW!!!! HOLY FUCKING WOW!
popoBo said @ 8:20am GMT on 28th Mar
Here I am again...
herr pes said @ 8:37am GMT on 28th Mar
woosh!
graham said @ 4:22pm GMT on 28th Mar
-->
graham said @ 4:25pm GMT on 28th Mar
well then...this should be fine and dandy now..
leezurd said @ 10:48pm GMT on 28th Mar
No, no it isn't. But thanks for playing!
leezurd said @ 11:55pm GMT on 6th Apr
How the fuck did I end up back here?
letoofdune said @ 1:09am GMT on 7th Apr
Fuck...I've reached the end of the world again. Time to start over.
spacebunny said @ 4:47am GMT on 7th Apr [Score:2]
Fenny said @ 5:23am GMT on 7th Apr
Restuarant at the End of the Universe!!!
[ploink] said @ 5:54am GMT on 10th Apr
unbreak it plz kthx
graham said @ 4:17pm GMT on 21st Apr
huh...whoda thunk it'd bring me here?

links are fun :D
letoofdune said @ 2:50pm GMT on 26th Apr
Oh God. I'm here again. And so is that goddamn dancing banana.
relm said @ 12:07pm GMT on 29th Apr
I bet you think I have it easy don't you? You think I mosey on in here at 9:00 am, say hello to my secretary and shut myself up in an office untill 5:00 pm. Well let me tell you somthing pal, they did not make me President of Hostess Cakes Inc. for nothing. I sucked a lot of cock to get where I am now with my designer suits and Italian sports cars.

I started out just like you at the bottom, but then I strived to better my self. I got myself a pair of knee pads and a bib and started sucking cock down in the portopotties and got myself into my own office with a view. Hell, my entire experience at this company has been nothing but one big fat dong party! As soon as you walk out of this office I'm gonna be on the phone with a shareholder to set up an appointment to suck cock in Liverpool this afternoon! Now before you run outta here screaming, are you circumsized? Because smegma just totally ruins it for both of us.
letoofdune said @ 3:06am GMT on 9th May
Rammek said @ 2:33pm GMT on 9th May
Fuck. Yeah.
puravida said @ 11:02pm GMT on 16th May
bang ban boogie woogie bang bang bang!!!
leezurd said @ 11:55pm GMT on 16th May
~"have you ever went over a friends house to eat
and the food just aint no good
i mean the macaroni's soggy the peas are mushed
and the chicken tastes like wood
so you try to play it off like you think you can
by sayin that youre full
and then your friend says momma he's just being polite
he aint finished uh uh that's bull
so your heart starts pumpin and you think of a lie
and you say that you already ate
and your friend says man there's plenty of food
so you pile some more on your plate
while the stinky foods steamin your mind starts to dreamin
of the moment that it's time to leave
and then you look at your plate and your chickens slowly rottin
into something that looks like cheese
oh so you say that's it i got to leave this place
i dont care what these people think
im just sittin here makin myself nauseous
with this ugly food that stinks
so you bust out the door while its still closed
still sick from the food you ate
and then you run to the store for quick relief
from a bottle of kaopectate..."
ManHoDraizuh said @ 5:34pm GMT on 3rd Jul
+1 Harry h0tt3r
Trigger said @ 3:37pm GMT on 7th Jul
CHOP!
Trigger said @ 3:38pm GMT on 7th Jul
SOME OF US LIVE
Trigger said @ 3:39pm GMT on 7th Jul
ON THE ADMIN PAGE!!
housewares said @ 2:40am GMT on 10th Jul
WE NEED THIS PARROT
Chop-Logik said @ 7:35pm GMT on 11th Jul
The anti-anti-negative-start/end!
Chop-Logik said @ 7:36pm GMT on 11th Jul
Oh, and it would take me to post 0....
At124 said @ 10:20pm GMT on 15th Jul



donnie said @ 2:27pm GMT on 3rd Sep
p_headless_g said @ 10:33am GMT on 23rd Oct
You fucking sons of bitches. I made a purposeful attempt to never hear that song again. You FUCKING SONS OF BITCHES. I will KILL YOU. With MY BRAIN.
cache22 said @ 4:20pm GMT on 28th Nov
It took me 6 months. but I finally read this entire page.
puravida said @ 5:06pm GMT on 28th Nov
my head assplode
v21 said @ 10:13am GMT on 23rd Jan
help, the comments are broken

I cant see any of them.
v21 said @ 10:13am GMT on 23rd Jan
That last comment just dissapeared to I know not where

Is this the pink page?
v21 said @ 10:14am GMT on 23rd Jan
?
relm said @ 11:02pm GMT on 1st Feb
Additional plugins are required to display all the media on this page. Additional RAM is also needed.
[ploink] said @ 1:21am GMT on 5th Mar
Warning: mysql_num_rows(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /var/www/sensibleerection.com/html/entry.php on line 123


Comments

Silk said @ 8:20am on 17th May [Score:1 Informative] - moderate/reply
bo

illox said @ 12:05am on 3rd Jan - moderate/reply
well this is frigging strange, 404, the end of time, the land of crap.
nothing...

oh well, if it ain't here then it probably wasn't worth seeing anyway.

guess your going to have to get your goetse or tranpron or autopsy photos what ever god awful crap you were looking for somewhere else, because there's a reason it doesn't exist here, and a reason you can't find it, you sick freak...
follywaggle said @ 5:23am on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
the reason is out there
Modano said @ 2:22pm on 29th Oct - moderate/reply
Mo' Drano wuz here.
illox said @ 12:05am on 3rd Jan [Score:1 Interesting] - moderate/reply
well this is frigging strange, 404, the end of time, the land of crap.
nothing...

oh well, if it ain't here then it probably wasn't worth seeing anyway.

guess your going to have to get your goetse or tranpron or autopsy photos what ever god awful crap you were looking for somewhere else, because there's a reason it doesn't exist here, and a reason you can't find it, you sick freak...
smada said @ 5:07pm on 24th Feb - moderate/reply

smada said @ 5:07pm on 24th Feb - moderate/reply


Mwha
n nm said @ 5:54pm on 5th Jun - moderate/reply
sdf
lmnop said @ 3:01pm on 29th Jul - moderate/reply
foreach
Phaedrine said @ 5:53am on 9th Nov - moderate/reply
フゥ~!
said @ 5:40am on 9th Jun [Score:5] - moderate/reply
haha this is the lost page.....
maybe I should write an error..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
SORRY WE COULD NOT FIND THE PAGE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
De_Wr0ng said @ 5:24pm on 6th Aug - moderate/reply
Start of test
Really the end of the test
f00m said @ 11:34pm on 20th Dec - moderate/reply
w00t X-files music!
At124 said @ 12:22pm on 16th Jul - moderate/reply

Rojo^ said @ 1:38am on 11th Jan - moderate/reply

Rojo^ said @ 1:39am on 11th Jan - moderate/reply

f00m said @ 2:02pm on 1st Feb - moderate/reply

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SORRY, WE COULD NOT FIND THE PAGE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At124 said @ 12:21pm on 16th Jul - moderate/reply

dagfari said @ 2:00am on 3rd Feb - moderate/reply
I can't resist commenting...
Britney said @ 1:49pm on 10th Jun [Score:1 Interesting] - moderate/reply
I know I may be young, but I got feelings too.
smada said @ 6:08pm on 12th Jan - moderate/reply
OMFFG Bri7n3y is Teh H4wT s3XXX0rZ
At124 said @ 8:59am on 2nd Nov - moderate/reply
Only the marque & blink tags should be allowed!
At124 said @ 9:01am on 2nd Nov - moderate/reply

Only the marquee & blink tag should be allowed!
f00m said @ 9:06am on 11th Apr - moderate/reply
I have feelings in my pants.
Spunky_Monkey said @ 11:07pm on 15th Jun - moderate/reply
What is this place you have led me to?
Crysallis said @ 3:36pm on 7th Jul - moderate/reply
404 baybeh!
DirtyBirdy said @ 3:12pm on 10th Jul - moderate/reply
wow, it's the secret hidden section of SE...
Chop-Logik said @ 5:24pm on 23rd Jul - moderate/reply
YUO = FUX0rED UP/
EPT said @ 1:17pm on 3rd Aug - moderate/reply
Abandon all hope ye who enter here - here be dragons!
Jason Velocity said @ 1:36pm on 3rd Aug - moderate/reply
Now that is cool Supa Secret Hideout!
david_the_bumblebee said @ 3:25pm on 3rd Aug - moderate/reply
WTFack?

smada said @ 5:08pm on 24th Feb - moderate/reply


















worthlessfugarte


















here older guestbook profile







2003-02-19 at 10:13 p.m.





Today was no good. I wish I knew how too say more.






2003-02-04 at 8:56 p.m.





today=

a new haircut

a new rug

michael

and I moved my guitar to my room.

hurrah.






2003-01-27 at 12:10 a.m.





it's supposed to look like me.

it

I suppose I'm a bit chunkier.






2003-01-19 at 2:28 a.m.






That's me! at fat camp! In the top left corner with my back turned! I'm the one with my hands on my hips not wrestling!

me again! standing up in the black mab shirt!

it looks like that guy is about to grab my ass. p.s. my sleeves are up because it was extra hot that day, not trying to look snazzy or anything. at it's peak, the temperature was about 97º.

I'm up in the top right corner. hurrah.

well those are all that I could fine.






previous or next


Rude Boy said @ 3:37pm on 4th Aug - moderate/reply






Sunday, 4 August 2002






BoyGirlBang



quote [ This is the very first video I ever shot, and I wanted to start things out with a bang, so I used the biggest, fattest, loser I've ever met - Bob. Anyway, I took Bob to a local mall and we spent nearly an entire day looking for a chick willing to do him before we finally found Mariah in the parking lot. It ended up costing $600, but it was worth it! Enjoy the video! ]


posted by airkiwi @ 5:10am GMT | add to watchlist | 4 comments (2 new)





Hi-grade SE







New sexylosers!



Just thought I'd share. :)

posted by windex @ 3:03pm GMT | add to watchlist | 14 comments






Low quality SE
matt said @ 5:17pm on 4th Aug - moderate/reply
I like it up the bum.
smada said @ 1:46pm on 20th Feb - moderate/reply
indeed
gallery404 said @ 2:34am on 28th Aug - moderate/reply
Do you douche or use and enema first? Can you have an orgasm just from anal? Or is just more injoyable, much the way many women love the feelings, penetration, opening yourself, giving pleasure without and actual culmination of ejaculet?

Does your ass leak later, or get out of sorts?

Thanks in advance!
tristan said @ 6:28pm on 4th Aug - moderate/reply
And I like giving it up the bum. Bend over, sexy.
kuskus said @ 3:01pm on 29th Dec - moderate/reply
Both of you bend over
Robyn said @ 7:36pm on 4th Aug - moderate/reply
I just like it period! Its just unfortunate I dont get it from Amul Muzz cause he is the sexiest beast evah!!!!!!

I Roxxoer teh L33ts!!!!
Fenny said @ 4:20pm on 11th Mar - moderate/reply
whatever happened to Amul Muzz, he was teh cool?
[ploink] said @ 12:16am on 24th Aug - moderate/reply
wow, what an interesting page

http://exploitationnow.com/
http://truemeaningoflife.com/
http://www.blindwino.com/driver.html
http://tang.keenspace.com/
http://sluggy.com/
http://gpf-comics.com/
http://www.explodingdog.com/
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/
http://yellow5.com/pokey/
http://isometric.spaceninja.com/
http://hammerspace.fojar.com/
http://hensel.lifepatterns.net/
Interficium said @ 8:41pm on 24th Aug [Score:-1 Troll] - moderate/reply
Sluggy fucking sucks and always has.
[ploink] said @ 11:32pm on 24th Aug - moderate/reply
Did I say you could speak?
Jag said @ 1:28pm on 29th Aug - moderate/reply
Sluggy is kinda losing its humor. For a while, it was funny... now, it's horrible. Meh, the best of us can fall
Jor said @ 9:04pm on 11th Sep - moderate/reply
Just testing ;)

test

[url]http://www.cannedtunes.net/fusker/?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.babesandcars.com%2Fcc-content%2Fcontent%2Fcsbpics%2Fmatrix%2Fadashabd1024%2Fhigh%2FO-adashabdGG%5B001-133%5D.jpg&displaytype=images[/url]
Jor said @ 9:04pm on 11th Sep - moderate/reply
Just testing ;)

test

[url]http://www.cannedtunes.net/fusker/?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.babesandcars.com%2Fcc-content%2Fcontent%2Fcsbpics%2Fmatrix%2Fadashabd1024%2Fhigh%2FO-adashabdGG%5B001-133%5D.jpg&displaytype=images[/url]
phishfood said @ 2:54am on 13th Sep - moderate/reply
FUCK Y'ALL I'M PHISHPHOOD AND YOU CAN EAT MA BALL'Z
friedbeer said @ 3:15am on 29th Sep - moderate/reply
Hello to the fine gentlemen & ladies of SE.

*burp*
co.pilot said @ 5:05pm on 1st Nov - moderate/reply
what the hell is this? some sort of sensible erection easter egg?
BergZ said @ 8:28am on 11th Jan - moderate/reply
Golgatha, SE style.
Spunky_Monkey said @ 7:35pm on 10th Nov [Score:1 Insightful] - moderate/reply
I think THIS is where we should hide the pr0n links
von_sanchez said @ 3:40pm on 11th Aug - moderate/reply
Why not in 8008135?
Jamouse said @ 4:27pm on 11th Nov - moderate/reply
Egads
little hell said @ 9:36pm on 13th Nov - moderate/reply
all those dead babies......jesus glass blowing christ buggering a dolphin!
Trigger said @ 2:23am on 14th Nov - moderate/reply
MENTION NO FETII IN THIS MOST SACRED OF PLACES.
p_headless_g said @ 12:00pm on 28th Apr - moderate/reply
Fetus. Fetus, fetus, fucking fetus. Fetus fetus bo betus, banana fana fo fetus, me mi mo metus... FETUS!!!
See? That's what you get. Mention no fetii indeed... How, may I ask??!?!

Fetus...
Robyn said @ 3:13pm on 23rd Dec - moderate/reply
Merry Christmas.

Deeez nuuutz.
Evan said @ 2:46pm on 26th Dec - moderate/reply
lol look what i stumpled onto..
rebbel said @ 3:24am on 3rd Jan - moderate/reply
yummy yummy, nice chickies!!
follywaggle said @ 2:30pm on 12th Jan - moderate/reply
And yet as of now it only has a +1 he he.
Hummus! said @ 3:09pm on 15th Jan [Score:1 Insightful] - moderate/reply
HUMMUS! LOVE YOU ALL!!!



what this anyway!?
Trigger said @ 11:07pm on 6th May - moderate/reply
COME BACK TO US HUMMUS!!!!
nyq said @ 12:11am on 23rd Jan - moderate/reply
dear me.
EPT said @ 10:18am on 26th Jan - moderate/reply
My god, that's a lot of mods. Where's my +/- 0 Confused?
friedbeer said @ 5:17pm on 26th Jan - moderate/reply
Belladonna gives great head. :P
awsmm said @ 5:05pm on 17th Feb - moderate/reply
Please let me out, Matt, I'll check the adult box next time!!!!!!!
Andrew said @ 4:48am on 2nd Mar - moderate/reply
Where... am I? o_o
Chop-Logik said @ 9:05am on 2nd Mar - moderate/reply

3000th comment!
Chop-Logik said @ 9:06am on 2nd Mar - moderate/reply
Thanks to smada for making all the links pink. wonderful.
smada said @ 7:10am on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
i think it's really cute.
p_headless_g said @ 6:12am on 28th Apr - moderate/reply
I knew I shouldn't have eaten that bag of gravy I found in the parking lot...
It's like... through... the looking glass... man...
*bleeds away into the night sky*
tomble said @ 10:20pm on 1st May - moderate/reply
What is this place?
MEEJA HOR said @ 1:34am on 29th Jul [Score:1 Funny] - moderate/reply
This is 'the fourth place', Playstation got the third one
sensibleb said @ 2:59am on 18th May - moderate/reply
Bonehead hax0r nuked the SE front page, so I stumbled in here by accident. I feel so L337. Here is a broken image link:


Chop-Logik said @ 3:13am on 18th May - moderate/reply
thanks :)
/me regrets looking at the code :D
sensibleb said @ 3:46am on 18th May - moderate/reply
/me knew you would. ;-D
sensibleb said @ 3:00am on 18th May - moderate/reply
Bonehead hax0r nuked the SE front page, so I stumbled in here by accident. I feel so L337. Here is a broken image link:


sensibleb said @ 3:42am on 18th May [Score:1 Funny] - moderate/reply
This was not a double-post. It's just an artifact created by the symmetry of this interdimensional nether-page.
Raoul Duke said @ 7:02am on 8th Jun [Score:2 Insightful] - moderate/reply
We were just outside of SE, on the edge of the web, when the drugs began to take hold.

I remember saying something like, "I feel a bit lightheaded, I think I fucked up the site." All of a sudden, the screen was filled with the ravings and babblings of porn addicts.

Eh, fuck it.
:)
Raoul Duke said @ 7:02am on 8th Jun [Score:1 Funny] - moderate/reply
We were just outside of SE, on the edge of the web, when the drugs began to take hold.

I remember saying something like, "I feel a bit lightheaded, I think I fucked up the site." All of a sudden, the screen was filled with the ravings and babblings of porn addicts.

Eh, fuck it.
:)
Raoul Duke said @ 7:09am on 8th Jun - moderate/reply
2003, a double post on the internet.

I recall one afternoon on SE, there I was - mother of God, there I I am /\/\ - I was a natural web addict, just clicking on whatever came by...


Raoul Duke said @ 7:15am on 8th Jun - moderate/reply
Apologies to the Good Doctor.
donnie said @ 1:42pm on 19th Jun - moderate/reply
dooooeeeesss annnnyyyoooonnneee waaannnnnnnnttt soooommmeee SSSSSSSS EEEEEEE? Iiiiii gggggoooootttaaaaallll theeeeeee mmmmaaakkkkings riiiiggghhht heeeeeereee. Alllllll iiiiii neeeeddddddiiiizzza plllllaaaacccceeee tooo ffffffaaaappppp......
sensibleb said @ 10:04am on 23rd Jun - moderate/reply
FFFFFAAAAAPPPPP-FFFffAAAaaPPPpp-FFfffAAaaaPPppp-
FffffAaaaaPpppp-ffffaaaapppp-fffaaappp-ffaapp-fap-fap-fap...
(echoes off into the inky distance)
grinick said @ 9:53pm on 28th Dec - moderate/reply
IGNORE THE EFFECTS

OF THIS



TERRIBLE DRUG
PERL_ZEALOT said @ 6:32pm on 14th Jun - moderate/reply
I am still awesome.
Chop-Logik said @ 7:12pm on 14th Jun - moderate/reply
OMRGM U SUX
Chop-Logik said @ 7:13pm on 14th Jun - moderate/reply
bfgbgb
housewares said @ 7:24pm on 14th Jun - moderate/reply
where's the pron?
housewares said @ 7:25pm on 14th Jun - moderate/reply
?
housewares said @ 7:26pm on 14th Jun - moderate/reply
The Library of Babel
housewares said @ 7:26pm on 14th Jun - moderate/reply
"groovy"
graham said @ 6:18pm on 16th Jun - moderate/reply
wtf
colinxp said @ 7:21am on 25th Jun - moderate/reply
i am a cyberspace cowboy.
account said @ 2:37pm on 25th Jun - moderate/reply
What the fuck indeed.
Pink and purple-you are now turning gay.
stmpynode said @ 2:19pm on 2nd Jul - moderate/reply
how straaange. i will have to leave my mark. [X]
insanemonkey said @ 12:04pm on 7th Jul - moderate/reply
well well well...wasn't expecting this....pink...hmmm...how odd
Chop-Logik said @ 7:35am on 8th Jul - moderate/reply
you have smada to thank for that.
mykel said @ 5:52am on 15th Jul - moderate/reply
Heh.. I found this on my own. I AM SO SMRT!! This is why you never have your post IDs sorted chronologically ;)
felix said @ 1:45pm on 22nd Jul - moderate/reply

ooh, behind the curtain
Crysallis said @ 1:57pm on 22nd Jul - moderate/reply
Close that door!
Crysallis said @ 7:50am on 23rd Jul - moderate/reply

Another_One said @ 3:17pm on 22nd Jul - moderate/reply
Banished by Crysallis
@#%&^
vahid said @ 6:44am on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
oh how cute..............
phishfood said @ 7:05am on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
POOOOOOOOO
gunthar said @ 7:29am on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
I fjrrred my pants.
MEEJA HOR said @ 8:02am on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
all this pink is making me feel rather camp
mzxfan said @ 8:11am on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
so this is what is in the end of wormholes...
racerx said @ 8:24am on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
What the fuck is wrong with SE?
De_Wr0ng said @ 12:04pm on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
WTF?
sensibleb said @ 1:19pm on 28th Jul [Score:1 Informative] - moderate/reply
Ok, there was this one time, when I was six years old, that I was sitting in front of the TV watching Deputy Dawg and eating peanut butter and jelly, that a plane crashed outside my house, only it wasn't a plane, it was a school bus, but it fell out of the sky, which for some reason was pink instead of blue, and anyway, this school bus fell out of the sky, and I ran outside to see if anyone was hurt, and the bus driver was Gino Vanelli, that guy who had those songs in the 80's about wild horses and black cars, and I asked him if school buses looked better in the shade, but he just kind of burbled "bllt-blb-ughh-blbb", because his face must have hit the steering wheel when he hit the ground, and most of his teeth were gone, well not gone really, a few of them were still stuck in the steering wheel and one or two were on the green plastic seat, which looked kind of brownish under the pink sky, and I thought maybe I should call an ambulance, but there was no one else on the bus but Gino, and I didn't care for him much anyway, so I went back inside and finished my sandwich.
sensibleb said @ 1:23pm on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
Oh, and I like the number fifteen.
LeavemeAlone said @ 1:28pm on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
Wow, this is really fucked up. I hope I get back to reality.
mewse said @ 2:37pm on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
oh my god wtf is going on, why are all the links pink, who posted the topic, wheres my sandwich
colinxp said @ 3:58pm on 28th Jul - moderate/reply
ahhh, i was hoping id be back here someday.
arteitle said @ 11:21pm on 28th Jul [Score:3 Funny] - moderate/reply
You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... the Twilight Zone.
jornin said @ 1:16am on 29th Jul - moderate/reply
Is SE ever going to work properly again?
MEEJA HOR said @ 1:32am on 29th Jul [Score:2 Funny] - moderate/reply
In some ways i hope it doesn't.
Every blog needs a gay pink backdoor to enhance it's mass appeal
sensibleb said @ 6:18pm on 30th Jul [Score:1 Interesting] - moderate/reply
Tee hee... you said gay pink backdoor.
Trigger said @ 9:25am on 13th Aug - moderate/reply
Tee hee... you said gay pink backdoor
quaint said @ 9:24am on 23rd Oct - moderate/reply
Astonishing..... In light of all these people saying "Gay pink backdoor", you too have managed to say "Gay pink Backdoor"!.

Something seems amiss
leezurd said @ 1:52am on 29th Jul - moderate/reply
Woops!
Wrong door, sorry.
De_Wr0ng said @ 6:43am on 10th Aug - moderate/reply


End of test
f00m@nB@r said @ 5:42am on 13th Aug - moderate/reply
-->
De_Wr0ng said @ 6:39am on 10th Aug - moderate/reply
This still be errie.

De_Wr0ng said @ 6:41am on 10th Aug - moderate/reply
--> Double heh
De_Wr0ng said @ 6:43am on 10th Aug - moderate/reply
-->
skrewlooze said @ 2:59pm on 26th Aug - moderate/reply
bizarro world.
whatfor said @ 6:33pm on 26th Aug - moderate/reply
Here is where all of your pink flowing goodness dwells intimately with your main brain. Or, not.....
Rammek said @ 1:13am on 27th Aug - moderate/reply
*wants to be part of the action*
*hangs around*

Oh well, that was fun. Bye.
De_Wr0ng said @ 1:31am on 27th Aug - moderate/reply
What you all doing in my play room. Wahhhhhhhh .... Mommy......
EPT said @ 12:17pm on 27th Aug - moderate/reply
Damn, there's another secret post somwhere, but I can't remember where...
Neo Kojiro said @ 4:03am on 31st Aug - moderate/reply
Well, to quote Chop-Logik: "OMG OMGWTF!"
graham said @ 6:51am on 21st Sep - moderate/reply
omg....the links are pink like the inside of my anus...
insensate said @ 3:02pm on 22nd Feb - moderate/reply
Thanks for sharing.
verycleanteeth said @ 6:26am on 22nd Sep - moderate/reply
why is it pink?

BTW, I wonder if people instinctively hit their brakes when they careen off cliffs
teh voice of teh intarweb said @ 2:46am on 23rd Sep - moderate/reply
THIS IS TEH VOICE OF TEH INTARWEB
Mr. Langosta said @ 4:31pm on 30th Sep - moderate/reply
Found this on accident. 9/30/03
rick_fagnolia said @ 6:11pm on 13th Oct - moderate/reply
I=teh scared of the secret page
graham said @ 8:02am on 8th Nov [Score:1 Insightful] - moderate/reply
I just tried to squeeze out a fart, and sent out a little poo.
little poo said @ 9:56am on 17th May - moderate/reply
And...Boy are my arms TIRED !
v21 said @ 5:00am on 25th Nov - moderate/reply
I don't think this is a good idea... I am nowhere near a long time member (just over as year) and i go through the archives when i am bored. I think, especially with the idea of sorting posts by over all + mods as suggested at the top of this post and matt's last post, that disallowing mods on old posts wouldn't be the best idea. Comments could have the timestamp tests, but entries like the dirty joke contest a while ago would be unfavorably affected.
ballinyourmouth said @ 10:22pm on 28th Nov - moderate/reply
I am full of awesome
blindnerd said @ 2:17pm on 5th Dec - moderate/reply
Testing test testies
blindnerd said @ 2:18pm on 5th Dec - moderate/reply
Testing test testies
nip said @ 5:34pm on 9th Dec - moderate/reply
There is no erection.
nip said @ 5:38pm on 9th Dec - moderate/reply
Should have taken the blue pill. Neo??? I BELIEVE!!!
Chicken Nuts said @ 6:06pm on 9th Dec - moderate/reply
Holy Fux...
p_headless_g said @ 7:16pm on 9th Dec - moderate/reply
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p_headless_g said @ 7:19pm on 9th Dec - moderate/reply
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arteitle said @ 7:46pm on 9th Dec - moderate/reply
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graham said @ 9:37pm on 14th Dec - moderate/reply
WHERE IS MY HANDY PICTUAR!?!?!
Vampire_X said @ 11:52pm on 14th Dec - moderate/reply
+watchlist

http://www.wickeddownloads.com/tazboard/indexy.html
kafir said @ 8:03am on 15th Dec - moderate/reply
this is bizarre.
and the music.....

Vampire_X said @ 8:07am on 15th Dec - moderate/reply
yeah...
Vampire_X said @ 8:08am on 15th Dec - moderate/reply
also, someone has made all the text purple...
graham said @ 11:51am on 15th Dec - moderate/reply
Chop-Logik said @ 3:06pm on 1st Mar - moderate/reply
Thanks to smada for making all the links pink. wonderful.

smada said @ 1:10pm on 27th Jul - moderate/reply
i think it's really cute.

graham said @ 11:51am on 15th Dec - moderate/reply
Chop-Logik said @ 3:06pm on 1st Mar - moderate/reply
Thanks to smada for making all the links pink. wonderful.
smada said @ 1:10pm on 27th Jul - moderate/reply
i think it's really cute.

graham said @ 11:51am on 15th Dec - moderate/reply
Chop-Logik said @ 3:06pm on 1st Mar - moderate/reply
Thanks to smada for making all the links pink. wonderful.
smada said @ 1:10pm on 27th Jul - moderate/reply
i think it's really cute.

graham said @ 11:52am on 15th Dec - moderate/reply
Chop-Logik said @ 3:06pm on 1st Mar - moderate/reply
Thanks to smada for making all the links pink. wonderful.
smada said @ 1:10pm on 27th Jul - moderate/reply
i think it's really cute.

Vampire_X said @ 6:11pm on 15th Dec - moderate/reply
i suppose you where the one who made the background black too?
Vampire_X said @ 6:12pm on 15th Dec - moderate/reply
actualy, scrach that "too"
De_Wr0ng said @ 2:03am on 21st Dec - moderate/reply
Black?
Todomanna said @ 9:23am on 19th Dec - moderate/reply
Weeeeeeeeeeee!
Todomanna said @ 10:48am on 19th Dec - moderate/reply
Did I mention "Weeeeeeeeeeee!"?
nip said @ 10:39am on 19th Dec - moderate/reply
......I'm madly in love with teh ch0rp!
Chop-Logik said @ 6:45am on 4th Oct - moderate/reply

I GOT IT ALL ON TAPE
Shutup said @ 8:14pm on 20th Dec - moderate/reply
This page owned mozilla. Which begs the question, where am I?
Baxter_UK said @ 10:34pm on 20th Dec - moderate/reply
Fuck, you've gone completely sideways, man. It'll blow you straight through the wall, stone dead in ten seconds.
grinick said @ 9:58pm on 28th Dec - moderate/reply
Ignore the effects of this....terrible drug
f00m said @ 11:33pm on 20th Dec - moderate/reply
lmao X-files music
letoofdune said @ 3:48am on 21st Dec - moderate/reply
Holy shit. I'm at the end of the web. SE is t3h p0wnd!
sensibleb said @ 3:58am on 21st Dec - moderate/reply
(When I think of Marck, I touch myself)
letoofdune said @ 4:08am on 21st Dec - moderate/reply
you too?
germanjulian said @ 9:34am on 29th Dec - moderate/reply
?????????????? wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Chris Woods said @ 10:48am on 29th Dec - moderate/reply
Huh. The page at the end of the world.

And I can't resist the urge to comment.

f00m said @ 3:07pm on 29th Dec - moderate/reply
but how do i soment?
utah said @ 1:55am on 30th Dec - moderate/reply
I hope I haven't brained my damage...
Rouge_Element said @ 5:05am on 30th Dec - moderate/reply
OMG!
graham said @ 8:05am on 30th Dec - moderate/reply
THIS POST IS NULL VOID DELEETEEED
penisinface said @ 9:52pm on 30th Dec - moderate/reply






this space intentionaly left blank








Vampire_X said @ 7:57pm on 5th Jan - moderate/reply

JibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabbervvJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabber

Vampire_X said @ 8:03pm on 5th Jan - moderate/reply

JibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabbervvJibberjabberJibberjabberJibberjabber

JOECAM said @ 9:45am on 6th Jan - moderate/reply
WTF
larger2day said @ 9:50am on 6th Jan - moderate/reply
Hey hey!!
larger2day said @ 9:51am on 6th Jan - moderate/reply
OMG the x files theme !!!!
Mr. Langosta said @ 6:57pm on 10th Jan - moderate/reply
'THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM'
by The Marquis de Sade
Translated by Austryn Wainhouse and Richard Seaver


INTRODUCTION
The extensive wars wherewith Louis XIV was burdened during his reign,
while draining the State's treasury and exhausting the substance of the
people, none the less contained the secret that led to the prosperity of a
swarm of those bloodsuckers who are always on the watch for public
calamities, which, instead of appeasing, they promote or invent so as,
precisely, to be able to profit from them the more advantageously. The end
of this so very sublime reign was perhaps one of the periods in the history
of the French Empire when one saw the emergence of the greatest number of
these mysterious fortunes whose origins are as obscure as the lust and
debauchery that accompany them. It was toward the close of
oth3r said @ 5:25pm GMT on 12th Mar
hello
hoboninja said @ 5:14pm GMT on 5th Apr
That's AT THE DRIVE IN!
shiney things said @ 4:30pm GMT on 25th Apr
i wanna play!
steele.ero said @ 11:03am GMT on 10th Jun
This is why we can't have nice things...
arrowhen said @ 1:03pm GMT on 18th Jun
I believe I may have reached this page in error.
Naruki said @ 1:35am GMT on 11th Jul
Hello?
steele.ero said @ 1:19pm GMT on 14th Jul
Is it safe?
-_- said @ 1:24pm GMT on 14th Jul
Is it ever safe?
steele.ero said @ 1:25pm GMT on 14th Jul
No longer.
-_- said @ 1:28pm GMT on 14th Jul
safety in numbers.
-_- said @ 1:28pm GMT on 14th Jul
or the lack there of.
-_- said @ 1:28pm GMT on 14th Jul
or the understanding of.
steele.ero said @ 1:29pm GMT on 14th Jul
short and sweet continues the meet :)
-_- said @ 1:31pm GMT on 14th Jul
oh ,but it comes to this.
steele.ero said @ 1:35pm GMT on 14th Jul
I'm thinking :)
steele.ero said @ 1:36pm GMT on 14th Jul
And missy is watching :P
-_- said @ 1:36pm GMT on 14th Jul
:)
-_- said @ 1:37pm GMT on 14th Jul
missy?
-_- said @ 1:37pm GMT on 14th Jul
I liked your comment.
-_- said @ 1:37pm GMT on 14th Jul
about using primes.
-_- said @ 1:37pm GMT on 14th Jul
in your SE code.
steele.ero said @ 1:38pm GMT on 14th Jul
my nickname for him/her. missy and shirley :)
-_- said @ 1:38pm GMT on 14th Jul
funny , inside joke.
steele.ero said @ 1:38pm GMT on 14th Jul
that should be missy and shirley :)
-_- said @ 1:38pm GMT on 14th Jul
right
steele.ero said @ 1:39pm GMT on 14th Jul
It's on my mind mang.
-_- said @ 1:39pm GMT on 14th Jul
good nicknames.
steele.ero said @ 1:39pm GMT on 14th Jul
*waves to missy*
-_- said @ 1:39pm GMT on 14th Jul
it will wake you up.
-_- said @ 1:40pm GMT on 14th Jul
once you get sleep.
steele.ero said @ 1:40pm GMT on 14th Jul
I didn't get to sleep till noon 2day :/
-_- said @ 1:41pm GMT on 14th Jul
*blows kiss*
steele.ero said @ 1:41pm GMT on 14th Jul
sucked. but my meeting went well.
-_- said @ 1:41pm GMT on 14th Jul
I figured.
steele.ero said @ 1:42pm GMT on 14th Jul
I'll catch you later.
steele.ero said @ 1:42pm GMT on 14th Jul
Gonna hit the bar in a bit.
-_- said @ 1:43pm GMT on 14th Jul
check your PMs.
-_- said @ 1:44pm GMT on 14th Jul
I may not be around.
LordFeldo said @ 8:03pm GMT on 14th Jul
cuuute.
augur_ said @ 1:03pm GMT on 22nd Jul
I feel so... so strange.
Ariz said @ 1:10pm GMT on 26th Jul
Holy jesus hell fuck anus.

I have stumbled upon somthing greater then your moms vagina.
f00m@nB@r said @ 4:11pm GMT on 26th Jul
anybody home?
krupa said @ 7:46am GMT on 3rd Aug
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny!
Trench said @ 4:53pm GMT on 14th Sep
SEXY
b said @ 6:10pm GMT on 26th Oct
SEXY LIKE HORSE
p_headless_g said @ 5:06am GMT on 3rd Oct
monkeytooth said @ 7:42am GMT on 24th Jan
Wheee!
Sgt Harry 'Snapper' Organs.. said @ 9:03pm GMT on 1st Mar [Score:1 Insightful]
HELLLO!
riotstylefire said @ 4:54pm GMT on 30th May [Score:1 Insightful]
interesting
riotstylefire said @ 4:54pm GMT on 30th May
most
sythe said @ 1:31pm GMT on 5th Jul
...
Nihil said @ 4:10am GMT on 29th Sep
Ah, always nice to spend some time at the end of the Internet. So, anyone chillin' here? Other than my mom, I mean*.


* I pre-emptively disrupted any possible "your mom" jokes! If I were just a bit smarter, I could become President of the USA.
anger_die said @ 8:39am GMT on 8th Oct [Score:-1 Overrated]
Jewbacchus said @ 2:24am GMT on 29th Oct
Who...ruined...this place?
steele.ero said @ 2:28am GMT on 29th Oct
sparta?
Jewbacchus said @ 2:36am GMT on 29th Oct
WHERE IS THE MUSIC. WHERE IS THE MARQUIS DE SADE!!?
anger_die said @ 9:31am GMT on 15th Nov
I see. Well if sadomasochism is your game, and crashing browsers is that important to you, you can bring it back.

But I say let's vote on this.

Bring back the browser crashing?

Or

Keep it clean?
anger_die said @ 2:23pm GMT on 16th Nov


ahh screw it.
leezurd said @ 2:31pm GMT on 16th Nov
If you insist.
anger_die said @ 3:26pm GMT on 16th Nov
??
donnie said @ 2:41am GMT on 29th Oct
wtf? years of masterpiece post gone 0_0 how??
Jewbacchus said @ 2:45am GMT on 29th Oct
MAAAARRRRRRRCCCCCKKK
steele.ero said @ 2:50am GMT on 29th Oct
MORTAL KOMBAT!
sythe said @ 8:46pm GMT on 29th Oct
*starts up crappy techno music*
p_headless_g said @ 11:54am GMT on 16th Nov
YOU BASTARDS! YOU BLEW IT UP!!
KingTaco said @ 9:00am GMT on 2nd Dec
Kickass.
Vampire_X said @ 8:22pm GMT on 11th Jan
whats with the lazercat?
anyway, all good things must come to an end. it was time
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 1:34pm GMT on 5th Feb
I MISS IT D:
anger_die said @ 2:25pm GMT on 11th Mar
wtf???
Nihil said @ 2:24am GMT on 12th Mar
props for preserving the opening post tho
tamp said @ 11:37am GMT on 13th Mar
tampootampoo
tamp said @ 6:13am GMT on 13th Apr
http://www.hermes-press.com/fascist_capitalism.htm
Fenny said @ 12:54pm GMT on 13th Apr
DON'T POLLUTE THE NETHERVERSE WITH YOUR SHITTY VERSE!
taeyn said @ 4:47am GMT on 23rd Apr
ALL YOUR BASE BELONG HERE.
graham said @ 9:05pm GMT on 20th Nov
:D
Vernes said @ 8:47am GMT on 19th Dec
... I mistyped an url and now I am here.
Where am I?
Fenny said @ 5:52am GMT on 25th Jun
Woah
maryyugo said @ 10:47pm GMT on 14th Jul

Ah shit... did I scrozzle the links?
All ROV video links on BP's one page setup.
maryyugo said @ 10:48pm GMT on 14th Jul
graham said @ 5:09am GMT on 26th Feb
braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag
Amul Muzz said @ 8:19am GMT on 26th Feb
Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagina.
ckfahrenheit said @ 4:00am GMT on 2nd Mar

Caffeine said @ 11:17pm GMT on 16th Apr
LAZER CATS

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