Sensible Erection | Infant Flesh Capsules Seized

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

quote [ The performance-enhancement pills, touted for increasing vitality and sex drive, have been found in the luggage of tourists and in international mail, according to South Korean authorities. ]

[by erich wiess@12:33pmGMT] [+10 WTF]

Comments

zenviper said @ 1:15pm GMT on 8th May
"South Korean authorities warned that the pills could be dangerous to human health."

uhhh yeah, they are killing infants to make them. D:

sanepride said @ 2:16pm GMT on 8th May [Score:3 Insightful]
Although I have serious doubts about the veracity of this story in the first place, I would point out that in its unabashed sensationalism they seem to be using the terms 'infant' and fetal' interchangeably. Assuming these pills exist at all (the only primary news source seems to be a Korean-made documentary) it is far more plausible that the tissue would come from aborted fetuses, which would probably be relatively easy to obtain in China with their strict population control laws.
In any case its probably safe to assume that no actual infants were harmed in the making of this sensational report.

sanepride said @ 2:19pm GMT on 8th May
*and yes, I know that in the minds of some people an infant and a fetus are the same thing.

eIfish said @ 1:39pm GMT on 9th May
Would it not be cheaper to make knockoff pills, using human material even 'younger' than foetuses?

spazm said @ 1:36pm GMT on 8th May
This is so fucked up! How am I supposed to finish my manwich with this sorta news?

GordonGuano said @ 3:57pm GMT on 8th May
Warning: brace yourself for disappointment when you buy Girl Scout cookies.

(h/t Addams Family movie)

Dantalion said @ 1:54pm GMT on 8th May [Score:1 Interesting]
Boy, it would be so much easier for me if I knew where to get these pills.

Do you KNOW the EFFORT I have to go through to make my own Cannibal Casserole?

It's not like how it used to be when my family would gather around a burnout car, or an outhouse we nailed shut and set on fire. We have all evening of pulling flesh off the corpses.

The worst part is all the PAPER WORK!

KingPellinore said @ 3:00pm GMT on 8th May
At first I thought you said cannabis casserole.

Now I think I'm gonna have to devise a recipe for that.

Judging by the amount of fat you'd need to absorb the THC for best effectiveness, I think a broccoli and cheese casserole would do the trick.

Easy Broccoli and Cheese Casserole:

1 (16 oz.) bag frozen broccoli cuts
1 (8 oz.) jar Cheez Whiz
1 sm. onion, chopped
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1C Shredded Cheddar Cheese
2 C rice (prepared)
1 stick Pot Butter
9 x 12 inch greased casserole dish

Saute onion on medium low in the pot butter. When onion is soft, stir in thawed broccoli, Cheez Whiz, soup, rice and shredded cheese. Stir well and pour into greased casserole dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes.

If anyone wants to try this out and get back to me, you're a trooper.

:-)

mrcucumber said @ 3:44pm GMT on 8th May [Score:1 Hot Pr0n]
Easy cannibal infant Broccoli and Cheese Casserole:

1 1/2 lbs aged infant meat, de-boned and cubed, 1"
1/2 (16 oz.) bag frozen broccoli cuts
1 (8 oz.) jar Cheez Whiz
1 sm. onion, chopped
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1C Shredded Cheddar Cheese
2 C rice (prepared)
1 stick Pot Butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
9 x 12 inch greased casserole dish
1/2 cup red zinfandel
1/2 cup coarse bread crumbs

Brown baby cubes in 1 tablespoon butter and 1 tablespoon olive oil. Remove and set aside. In the same pan, saute onion on medium low in the pot butter. When onion is soft, stir in baby cubes, add 1/2 cup red zinfandel, and simmer for 10 minutes, or until the alcohol has evaporated. Add soup and simmer for 10 minutes more, covered. Add thawed broccoli, Cheez Whiz, rice and half of the shredded cheese. Stir well and pour into greased casserole dish. Cover with the remaining cheese and bread crumbs and bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes.

KingPellinore said @ 4:30pm GMT on 8th May
Infant meat you're going to want to braise for at least an hour or it'll be too tough.

mrcucumber said @ 4:35pm GMT on 8th May
I'm thinkin' it's like veal, or baby pig/lamb. Very tender. Less collagen - making protein denaturing easier. 50 minutes plus browning should be plenty, no?

KingPellinore said @ 4:48pm GMT on 8th May
Depends on which cut you get, I guess. An infant filet would probably melt in your mouth, but something like a shank I'd want braised for a good while.

theolypse said @ 3:56pm GMT on 8th May
cheese whiz

i cant even capitalize

GordonGuano said @ 4:03pm GMT on 8th May
I would trade the Cheez Wiz in favor of more shredded cheddar. Cheez Wiz is the devil.

KingPellinore said @ 4:46pm GMT on 8th May
It's my Southern grandmother's recipe, minus the pot in the butter. If she found out I had altered it, she haunt the fuck out of me.

theolypse said @ 5:23am GMT on 9th May
(There was probably pot in her butter some days.)

lilmookieesquire said @ 6:47pm GMT on 8th May
I've usually just cooked the weed with olive oil or butter and use that for cooking.

The major problem I've had with pot brownies etc is that it takes so long to kick in, that I think it isn't working and I eat more; or that the food is so delicious, and I forgot to make regular food, that I keep eating the pot-food.

And then my pleasant-high goes to super-"fuck-you-lilmookie"-high and lasts forever to the point I want nothing more than to be bone sober.

KingPellinore said @ 6:56pm GMT on 8th May [Score:1 Underrated]
I embarrassed myself early into dating my wife when she wanted to introduce me to her friends.

We went to a friend of her's apartment and there were brownies. Apparently, we were supposed to eat half a brownie and eat the other half later. However, I was really hungry and ate my whole brownie before I was told that...

I spent the next several hours too stoned to talk. Some first impression I made...I was mortified.

sanepride said @ 4:03pm GMT on 8th May [Score:2]
Also in the category of WTF are we to make of this-

Public Health
Why Up to 90% of Asian Schoolchildren Are Nearsighted from studying too much

lilmookieesquire said @ 6:43pm GMT on 8th May [Score:1 Underrated]
This reminds me of the heavy set opthamologist that told me I should stop all swimming activity immediately, because if I continued wearing swim goggles, the veins in my eye would grow into my pupils, blinding me for life.

This is my favorite quote from the article:
"if the eye is not allowed to regulate its size to the proper length, then myopia can occur."

sanepride said @ 11:02pm GMT on 8th May
Seems to be a preponderance of crazy news stories today. I blame the fucking super-moon.

sanepride said @ 6:32pm GMT on 8th May
China says no baby-flesh pills in country.

danshyu said @ 8:41pm GMT on 8th May
Hey, why you like China so much man!

sanepride said @ 9:59pm GMT on 8th May
Kung Pao ~~baby~~ chicken.

Spleen23 said @ 6:41pm GMT on 8th May
Smuggleing drugs with a dead baby.

You're doing it wrong.

danshyu said @ 8:39pm GMT on 8th May
I'd imagine it'd be safer to eat them fresh.

Garr123 said @ 8:58pm GMT on 8th May
I thought this said "Instant Flesh Capsules" and was extremely intrigued/confused.

Upon further reading, I became extremely sad/confused.

sanepride said @ 9:51pm GMT on 8th May
Cheer up. It's complete bullshit.

Garr123 said @ 10:27pm GMT on 8th May
if people can get naked and devour the still beating hearts of children so as to gain a mystic shield against bullets, then i would be only mildly shocked at people eating baby/fetal flesh in the removed, abstract form of a pill

sanepride said @ 10:36pm GMT on 8th May
Sure, I can't argue with that reasoning.
Nevertheless this story is total hokum. Really it's pretty funny how many major news outlets are running with it as if it were confirmed fact.

mrcucumber said @ 10:55pm GMT on 8th May
Considering the Chinese put cardboard in soups, anti-freeze chemicals in toothpaste, melamine in baby formula, not to mention the obsessive nature of "natural" remedies and additives like rhino horn, among other similar practices, using dried fetuses or aborted babies as a "supplement" doesn't seem so far fetched.

Besides, you really think the Chinese Ministry of Health (while ignoring environmental abuse polluting ground water) is going to admit, through the state run news agency, that they found this practice to be true? Of course they are going to deny it in light of previous allegations and realities of off the wall practices.

I don't really know, but it certainly is "possible."

sanepride said @ 11:11pm GMT on 8th May
Sure, it's not that farfetched. That's why all these media outlets are buying it. But it's still bullshit. The only original sources cited for this story are a Korean customs official and a documentary that aired on Korean TV. So far, no independent testing or verification whatsoever on the actual contents or even existence of these alleged capsules. In the next couple of days we'll see a lot of walking back of this story.
If indeed it turns out to be true, I will personally eat one of these baby capsules.

mrcucumber said @ 11:34pm GMT on 8th May
You think ABC News is going out on a limb and sticking it's neck out on a hunch? Not that I think ABC is the best of journalism, but their normal, "adjusted" credibility is at stake.

But then again, with today's standards for honesty and integrity, it wouldn't surprise me if they did it for clicks.

sanepride said @ 11:45pm GMT on 8th May
Sad fact is major news outlets are reporting bullshit stories like this on an almost daily basis these days. It's because they now rely less and less on actual boots-on-the-ground journalists and more on aggregation for their information. One legit news outlet picks up a dubious story and it's fair game, they all swarm on it. Note that the ABC story actually cites this blog entry from WSJ as its source, which in turn gets its info from South Korean media. With this kind of lazy reporting 'credibility' has become largely irrelevant.

Dioxin said @ 7:36am GMT on 9th May
I'm pretty sure the cardboad thing turned out to be a hoax too.

eIfish said @ 6:17pm GMT on 9th May
My favourite one is oil skimmed out of the sewers and re-sold for cooking...

graham said @ 10:14pm GMT on 8th May [Score:1 Classy Pr0n]

feeling constipated said @ 10:24pm GMT on 8th May
Who wouldn't want the virility and sex drive of a small child? It is, much like the fetus, a no brainer.

But beware of long term, pun intended, side effects.

graham said @ 10:26pm GMT on 8th May [Score:1 Informative]

sanepride said @ 11:17pm GMT on 8th May
uh-oh...

aj904 said @ 11:46pm GMT on 8th May
I knew the zombies weren't the REAL problem.

sanepride said @ 3:25pm GMT on 9th May
Oh fucking hell.
We have wasted way too much time with this stupid zombie bullshit.

arrowhen said @ 1:43am GMT on 9th May
Infant Flesh Capsules was my favorite 80s industrial band.

swiggy said @ 3:54am GMT on 9th May
I'm so horny I could eat a baby.

arrowhen said @ 6:42am GMT on 9th May
Q: What do you get when you stab a baby with a fork?

A: An erection.