Wednesday, 27 July 2005

Doom Teaser

quote [ The first teaser trailer for Universal Pictures' Doom, which hits theaters October 21st. ]

Thought that it would look worse :) Stream only, they charge to dl
[games] [by si666@3:25amGMT] [+9 Good]

Comments

Lyingbastard said @ 3:31am GMT on 27th Jul
Well, hell if that doesn't look actually fairly good. Could this be a good video-game-to-movie translation?
letoofdune said @ 4:25am GMT on 27th Jul
It's easy to translate a game to a movie when the game had NO PLOT.
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 5:01am GMT on 27th Jul
From the sounds of things this will be taking a lot from Doom 3, what with the Rock playing Sarge and all, and that one had a plot :P
Trigorin said @ 3:32am GMT on 27th Jul
ARE there any good ones?
si666 said @ 3:34am GMT on 27th Jul
Mario Brothers?
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 3:36am GMT on 27th Jul
I considered mentioning that. It sucks as far as being true to the original but damn I loved it...
letoofdune said @ 4:25am GMT on 27th Jul
Yeah, the 6 foot goombas and the velociraptor as Yoshi was a but much. But otherwise, what wasn't to like?
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 5:02am GMT on 27th Jul
I actually kinda liked the little clawed bastard...
si666 said @ 3:36am GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Funny]
Wing Commander?
si666 said @ 3:59am GMT on 27th Jul
Tomb Raider?
rattus said @ 3:59am GMT on 27th Jul
resident evil wasn't too horrible.
Data Link Layer said @ 4:04am GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Funny]
Ya, if you never played the game and knew absolutely nothing about it and were retarded.
corky said @ 4:08am GMT on 27th Jul [Score:2 Funny]
duuuuuuude, mental retardation totally enhances the movie. everyone should see it 'tarded!
matt said @ 4:13am GMT on 27th Jul
I really liked the Resident Evil movie, and to a lesser extent the sequel. Not high art, but rather entertaining. I rewatch them periodically.
phunkeybuddha said @ 7:24am GMT on 27th Jul
I thought Mortal Kombat was a nice summer flick. Mindless fighting. It's no thinker like Memento but it's got good action.
Hactar said @ 4:36pm GMT on 27th Jul
Hitchhikers?

What? What'd I say?
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 3:34am GMT on 27th Jul
Download link anyone?
si666 said @ 3:35am GMT on 27th Jul
None yet, stupid pay sites :(
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 3:36am GMT on 27th Jul
Argh >.<
matt said @ 3:43am GMT on 27th Jul
The download links on the page work for me. I'm currently grabbing the 15mb Quicktime version. It didn't ask me to log in or pay or anything.
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 3:49am GMT on 27th Jul
I tried that and it started to download an html file. I went to the link and it was a signup page. Odd that it actually works for you :P
Chop-Logik said @ 4:24am GMT on 27th Jul
I tried saving the 30mb quicktime version, it requested I save it. However, the link appears to be raped.
sacrelicious said @ 3:41am GMT on 27th Jul
I'm not gonna watch the stream cause it only play in five second bursts over my puny 56 modem, but I bet it'll be PG-13.
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 3:44am GMT on 27th Jul
Nah, I read somewhere or another that, thankfully, it'll be R.
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 5:12am GMT on 27th Jul
And on that note, the Rock confirms it in the Comic-Con video.
BigJuiceMan said @ 1:07pm GMT on 27th Jul
Bwahahaha!
You don't win friends with sal-ad! You don't win friends with sal-ad!
sacrelicious said @ 8:34pm GMT on 27th Jul
when I grow up I'm going to Bovine University!
opt said @ 3:46am GMT on 27th Jul
goddamnit, the rock sucks..

meh
si666 said @ 3:54am GMT on 27th Jul
Rundown and Walking Tall were okay ... still does not make up for the sin that was Scorpion King though
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 4:00am GMT on 27th Jul
I loved The Rundown, particularly the scene with the Rock getting tossed like a salad.
mao tse helen said @ 4:21am GMT on 27th Jul [Score:2 Funny]
Yeah, I was surprised that the movie kept a PG-13 rating without having to cut the analingus scene.
mrcookieface said @ 5:12am GMT on 27th Jul
I bet they leave the analingus scene intact for Doom. I mean seriously, it'd have nothing to do with the game if they didn't.
sacrelicious said @ 4:02am GMT on 27th Jul
I don't really care for any movies he's been in, but I do think he could be a really respectable actor if he were to stay away from the musclebound-action-star roles. the guy's got talent that's wasted on the material he's been working with. he seriously should try getting himself some parts in small indie films, if only to build credibility.

but honestly, any musclebound-action-jagoff is perfectly suited to the source material. might as well be a musclebound-action-jagoff with loads of untapped potential.
KingPellinore said @ 9:22am GMT on 27th Jul
you seen "Be Cool"? No great movie, but the Rock does show some divergiance from muscle bound action boy.
cz85 said @ 12:12pm GMT on 27th Jul
I thought that was some other actor
caretaker said @ 3:25pm GMT on 27th Jul
Oh right.. That was Dwayne Johnson.
Hactar said @ 4:38pm GMT on 27th Jul
Kinda like Vin Diesel.
Flecko said @ 4:14am GMT on 27th Jul
Why does the rock suck? I thought the rundown was pretty good.
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 3:58am GMT on 27th Jul
*watches it.*
*watches it again.*
*rates +1 good because they used a 1st person view with the plasma gun in the lower right hand corner of the screen shooting something.*
letoofdune said @ 4:27am GMT on 27th Jul
Does anyone else think "Stealth" is one of the biggest wastes of money on film in the past few years?
sacrelicious said @ 4:29am GMT on 27th Jul
obviously you've never heard of hillary duff and her works!
letoofdune said @ 4:30am GMT on 27th Jul
At least she's got the jailbait eye candy aspect to the films. What does this have - a Wayans brother?
letoofdune said @ 4:33am GMT on 27th Jul


See? Your mind starts going, "Wow, I'd hit that." But then the thought police bust down your door.

*tin foil hat*
warmseat said @ 4:57am GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Funny]
Away! Away, you dirty thoughts!
/applies ice cubes to engorged crotch area
Hey... this feels different...
fap fap fap
cz85 said @ 12:13pm GMT on 27th Jul
If you slap ice on your balls as you ejaculate, you shoot more and further.
sacrelicious said @ 9:14pm GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Funny]
do I have to slap them with the ice to achieve the effect, or will gently pressing ice against my balls work just as well?
sacrelicious said @ 5:00am GMT on 27th Jul
jamie fox is not a wayans brother.

also Requiem For A Dream had a wayans brother, and that move was pretty good!
letoofdune said @ 5:03am GMT on 27th Jul
Oh man, I wasn't even thinking. Jamie Foxx is actually a good actor - I wasn't even paying attention. I think I may have been guilty of the "Every Black Person Looks the Same to White People" crime. That, or I'm still kinda drunk.

Either way, I fucking loved "Ray."
sacrelicious said @ 5:04am GMT on 27th Jul
ray? is that the one that stars denzel washington?
letoofdune said @ 5:05am GMT on 27th Jul
Nono, that's The Matrix movies.
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 5:10am GMT on 27th Jul
But that was Lauren.... never mind.
letoofdune said @ 5:14am GMT on 27th Jul
You mean it was Keenan Ivory Wayans that played Morpheus? I mean, I was almost sure...
sacrelicious said @ 5:15am GMT on 27th Jul
no, no, no. the first one starred forest whitakker. when scheduling conflicts prevented him from starring in the second one, they hired wayne brady. after he joined the cast of ER, they had to hire Jaleel White to play morpheus in the third matrix movie.
phunkeybuddha said @ 7:17am GMT on 27th Jul
Jessica Biel ain't a bad piece of eye candy.
phunkeybuddha said @ 7:21am GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Funny]
mwoody said @ 4:46am GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Insightful]
Bah. No radar on the plasma gun.



:P
eIfish said @ 7:14am GMT on 27th Jul
When I were a lad, the plasma gun didn't have this new-fangled radar...
bluemonkey said @ 5:45am GMT on 27th Jul
meh...

this movie needs hell.

i think ill skip this one unless you guys give it a thumbs up because i have no opinions of my own.
SkitsoDragon said @ 6:10am GMT on 27th Jul
2 Things I hate about this.

1. They fucked up the story and turned it into another mutant/zombie movie.

2. Watch the video... the final sound effect before it ends. I FUCKING HATE THAT DAMN SCREAM! THEY REUSE THAT FUCKING SOUND EFFECT OVER AND FUCKING OVER AGAIN!!!! GOD DAMN, IF I FIND THE PEOPLE THAT CREATED THAT EFFECT I WILL STRANGLE THEM WITH THEIR OWN ENTRAIL!!!!!!!

-1 Bad for those two reasons.
j11h002 said @ 6:17am GMT on 27th Jul
What story?
mwoody said @ 12:59pm GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Underrated]
Bah, am I the only one who read the README when the game came out? I always liked the story for Doom; despite it not actually being IN the game (save for the text after the episodes):

------------------------------------------------------------
THE STORY SO FAR
------------------------------------------------------------
You're a marine, one of Earth's toughest, hardened in
combat and trained for action. Three years ago you assaulted
a superior officer for ordering his soldiers to fire upon
civilians. He and his body cast were shipped to Pearl
Harbor, while you were transferred to Mars, home of the
Union Aerospace Corporation.

The UAC is a multi-planetary conglomerate with radioactive
waste facilities on Mars and its two moons, Phobos and
Deimos. With no action for fifty million miles, your day
consisted of suckin' dust and watchin' restricted flicks in
the rec room.

For the last four years the military, UAC's biggest
supplier, has used the remote facilities on Phobos and
Deimos to conduct various secret projects, including
research on inter-dimensional space travel. So far they have
been able to open gateways between Phobos and Deimos,
throwing a few gadgets into one and watching them come out
the other. Recently however, the Gateways have grown
dangerously unstable. Military "volunteers" entering them
have either disappeared or been stricken with a strange form
of insanity--babbling vulgarities, bludgeoning anything that
breathes, and finally suffering an untimely death of full-
body explosion. Matching heads with torsos to send home to
the folks became a full-time job. Latest military reports
state that the research is suffering a small set-back, but
everything is under control.

A few hours ago, Mars received a garbled message from
Phobos. "We require immediate military support. Something
fraggin' evil is coming out of the Gateways! Computer
systems have gone berserk!" The rest was incoherent. Soon
afterwards, Deimos simply vanished from the sky. Since then,
attempts to establish contact with either moon have been
unsuccessful.

You and your buddies, the only combat troop for fifty
million miles were sent up pronto to Phobos. You were
ordered to secure the perimeter of the base while the rest
of the team went inside. For several hours, your radio
picked up the sounds of combat: guns firing, men yelling
orders, screams, bones cracking, then finally, silence.
Seems your buddies are dead.

It's Up To You
Things aren't looking too good. You'll never navigate off
the planet on your own. Plus, all the heavy weapons have
been taken by the assault team leaving you with only a
pistol. If only you could get your hands around a plasma
rifle or even a shotgun you could take a few down on your
way out. Whatever killed your buddies deserves a couple of
pellets in the forehead. Securing your helmet, you exit the
landing pod. Hopefully you can find more substantial
firepower somewhere within the station.

As you walk through the main entrance of the base, you hear
animal-like growls echoing throughout the distant corridors.
They know you're here. There's no turning back now.
X said @ 7:47am GMT on 27th Jul
The first place I ever heard that sound effect was when you build the Terran Academy in Starcraft. Anyone know a previous precedent?
Halcyonide said @ 12:55pm GMT on 27th Jul
Hmm, the one you also hear every time you select the academy to build upgrades or such?

I think it sounds a bit like the TIE fighter scream in Star Wars, and I know that that one was created for the movie out of a cars tyres on asphalt and animal screams and stuff.
Nostrildamus said @ 1:30pm GMT on 27th Jul
A very old recording of a baby elephant scream, tires on wet asphalt, and studio-effect doppler shift, IIRC.

(sound effect wonk)
p_headless_g said @ 8:05am GMT on 27th Jul
I think it's a slowed down 'Wilhelm Scream'.
Nostrildamus said @ 8:45am GMT on 27th Jul
No it is not the wilhelm.

First time I heard it was in the original Dark Forces game, it played when you fell off a cliff or something.

It's been used everywhere, even in 'hard man' type cereal ads here in Oz. They use it because it is a sound effect from the library tapes that anyone can use, they don't have to record a special track nor pay for the use of it.
matt said @ 6:16am GMT on 27th Jul
It looks like instead of making a Doom movie they've made another Resident Evil movie and put the Doom name on it.
Ashura_Stephanos said @ 7:02am GMT on 27th Jul
I dunno... I have hopes that hell will still be in here, and that the "Oh they're just mutants" bit is only a ruse... it'd be genius... but they probably won't do it. It just seems kind of odd with everyone saying it's going to be so true to the game... wait, didn't they say a while back that it would take place on some random-assed planet? But the teaser clearly shows Mars...hmm...
Nostrildamus said @ 8:47am GMT on 27th Jul
I seem to remember them saying it took place on earth, I was surprised that it is actually on Mars.

Plus they say 'all hell breaks loose' in a jokey way, so that may be a clue that in fact it may be closer to the game.
Dalej said @ 8:44am GMT on 27th Jul
It'll prolly suck as the resident evil sucked
Dalej said @ 8:48am GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Underrated]
I mean come on. Best pun "sir are you okay?" bam! multiple eyes. I shit from laughter yes I did.
And we all know they put the best stuff in the teasers.

Also, looks to me like they copied the awsome feture the new DOOM game had: The famous "I can't se shit!™" effect.
Hactar said @ 4:40pm GMT on 27th Jul
Bah, that was supposed to be +1 funny.
matt said @ 8:17pm GMT on 27th Jul
Resident Evil was good :P
KingPellinore said @ 9:27am GMT on 27th Jul
I dunno about the movie, but some of the most fun I ever had was playing the original DOOM with the music turned off and Rammstein's "Herzleid" album blasting through my computer.

Wollt ihr das Bett in Flamen sehen?
Studmuffin said @ 9:36am GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Funny]
So, in other words, pay your $10, buy your $20 popcorn and drink, and go watch a black screen for 90 minutes?

That was pretty much what the Doom III game was, right?
AlphaMale said @ 10:08am GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Funny]
Cool. This movie has the Duct Tape mod, every assault rifle has flashlights attached. And the Plasmagun looks sweet. Also, the monster design is close to Doom 3, I'd think they would do their own designs.
headlessfriar said @ 11:26am GMT on 27th Jul
Wow, and at first I thought that Dr. Doom was getting his own movie...
Final_Draft said @ 11:48am GMT on 27th Jul
I don't even like the concept of making games into movies or vice versa. I don't enjoy movies that are executed like videogames. If I wanted mindless action, I'd go play a videogame since plots for videogames are sometimes as important as plots for pornography.
germanjulian said @ 12:01pm GMT on 27th Jul
no hell... no satan... resident evil on mars

OMG -1 BAD
Fu Man Chu said @ 2:57pm GMT on 27th Jul
exactly what I was thinking.

It's like Aliens meet's Resident Evil.

Fuck this "last 10% of the human genome" thing. I want Satanic Rituals and an epic battle involving a man, a rocket launcher, and Satan's exposed brains.
Saint_Marck said @ 12:17pm GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Interesting]
I'm still waiting for the Tetris movie.
Supreme_Coconut said @ 2:16pm GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Insightful]
This looks horrible. I've seen better Sci-Fi Original movies. Definitely looks like Resident Evil on Mars.
BigJuiceMan said @ 2:40pm GMT on 27th Jul
Oh yes but *fingers crossed* sooo hoping it is more like "Starship Troopers On Mars"
sacrelicious said @ 8:37pm GMT on 27th Jul
I would be very surprised if it had anything aproaching verhoeven's sense of satire.
negetron said @ 10:13pm GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Insightful]
Nono, what he means is "Co-ed shower scenes on Mars"
sacrelicious said @ 8:46pm GMT on 27th Jul
btw, when googling verhoeven's name to ensure my spelling was korect, stumbled across his site. and on his site I stumbled across this amusing bit o' Starship Troopers trivia:
Did you know...

Director Paul Verhoeven and cinematographer Jost Vacano shot one take of the co-ed shower scene in Starship Troopers in the nude themselves (on a dare from star Dina Meyer).
BigJuiceMan said @ 11:52pm GMT on 27th Jul
so hot. so hot. must take clothes off. annnnnnd ACTION!!
Superchibisan said @ 3:57pm GMT on 27th Jul
yeah, the genome thing sounds liek a wierd plot thing, what happened to making a portal to hell and hell's minions coming back through it?
jaxtraw said @ 4:34pm GMT on 27th Jul
Fear of christians, probably.
Myzelf said @ 4:07pm GMT on 27th Jul [Score:1 Funny]
Eh, the book was better.
Hactar said @ 4:41pm GMT on 27th Jul
Ok, so on a whim I bought the book for a friend. He never finished it. Are you saying you actually did?
f00m@nB@r said @ 9:11pm GMT on 27th Jul
http://www.radmonkeycowbells.com/buyshirt.htm

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