Sunday, 19 December 2004

Fuck It: Merry Christmas

HAPPY CHRISTMAS, NOW LETS ALL BE THE STUPID WESTERNERS THAT WE ARE AND RECEIVE PRESENTS, GET FAT AND DRINK TILL WE DROP LIKE WE ALL DO SO VERY, VERY, WELL.

YOU ALL LOVE TEH COCK

[by Ronald_McDonald@9:32pmGMT] [-10 Bad]

Comments

pempek said @ 9:35pm GMT on 19th Dec
Religions are just one of the oldest types of corporations, built in order to control people and seperate them from their money.

Christmas should be about celebrating family and grounding yourself in the reality of what is important in life.
Ronald_McDonald said @ 9:38pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:-1 Flamebait]
My point is already proven
pempek said @ 11:51pm GMT on 19th Dec
Glad I could be of service.
daboo said @ 9:36pm GMT on 19th Dec
Your extended kidded this post.
daboo said @ 9:36pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:1 Underrated]
killed*
My lack of proofreading kidded my dignity.
redank said @ 9:37pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
one theory: all those damn fundamentalists aren't smart enough to post on or read geek sites.
vahid said @ 9:37pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:1 Interesting]
" wherever i go in the internet"

The internet can't wait to go into you, on the ghey pillow. I'll be the guy taking pix on behalf of SE.
GehnRahl said @ 9:41pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
A few words:
Christmas isn't about the birth of christ. It was, in fact, invented by the Catholics to cover up the rampant winter "pagan" holidays that took place much throughout the middle ages. In fact, the estimates put the birth of Christ somewhere around september. So, your argument is bunk because at heart you're celebrating a pagan festival glitzed up by the Catholics.
Secondly, Christmas has become more of a generic American/Western holiday. Influences of western culture abound, ie German Christmas trees/coreesponding decorations...while America can lay claim to the modern Santa Claus....

So two things, its a bunk holiday and two its not quite a "christian" holiday anymore as it is a Western holiday. Hell, the Buddhists in japan freakin celebrate Christmas, so stfu.

And we mock your religion because it bears the need to be mocked. Once the blanket statement of "christians are ignorant/assholes/fuckers" is proven wrong, then maybe we'll stop calling you (and by you I mean mostly the fundamental christians that take this holiday as the god given celebration it is) on your shit.
Ifrit said @ 9:46pm GMT on 19th Dec
Aw...I mock fundamentalists just the same, but don't you remember how happy this time of the year was when you were younger? I remember that. There's no point in being bitter. Besides, I'm not religious, and Jesus came to talk to me in my dream last night. It was pretty cool. He's like Buddha but he doesn't mock me as much. Buddha is just a smart-ass. It's too bad they both can't visit me in my dreams too often.
GehnRahl said @ 9:48pm GMT on 19th Dec
I had a great time when I was younger...but you know what the funny thing is? Christ was never once mentioned by my parents. I celebrated the holiday for gifts and family, not because some dude was born very long ago.
Ifrit said @ 10:06pm GMT on 19th Dec
Ah well, that's why I celebrated and still celebrate for too. To me, mentioning Christ or not isn't a big deal to me because it doesn't affect me, unless he comes into my dreams. :) Merry Christmas. :)
Ronald_McDonald said @ 9:49pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:-2 Flamebait]
Christmas isn't about the birth of christ... ????

I think you'll find it is, last time i checked, no-one was celebrating christmas in september... i didn't realise it had to be the exact day, i'm so sorry GehnRahl.

Who gives a fuck, its the meaning of the day that matters (i bet you still recieve presents like the typical atheist you are)
GehnRahl said @ 9:52pm GMT on 19th Dec
Of course I do, because I celebrate the westernized version of it. I also give gifts and say "Merry christmas."

But my point is that Christmas has its origins not in the birth of christ, but in the covering up of pagan celebrations. Read more carefully before you take a pot shot....

" its the meaning of the day that matters" = "covering up of pagan celebrations"
Ronald_McDonald said @ 10:04pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:-2 Flamebait]
I'll remember to slap around a few pagans on xmas day for you then.


LETS CELEBRATE COVER UP PAGAN HOLIDAY DAY...

I'm a crazy westerner, i don't need an excuse to recieve presents... oh i do! well, umm, shit... ... oh... fuck ... pagans!, yeah that'll do.... pagans! happy pagan cover up day. NOW GIMME MY GODDAM PRESENTS!, I WANT FREE STUFF, IM AN IGNORANT TURD, GIMME MONEY, TOYS, EVERYTHING, theres nothing more i love than celebrating the covering up of pagan holidays, it means so much to me...

I must emphasise that it means so much to me that i need free stuff.
GehnRahl said @ 10:05pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:1 Funny]
sounds about right
Hemiii said @ 5:32pm GMT on 20th Dec [Score:-1 Insightful]
Wait, I'm not even allowed to give and recieve presents now?

Well, merry xmas or kwanzaa or chanananankakaka or gay pron or whatever we're talking about :(
Taleweaver said @ 10:11pm GMT on 19th Dec
Sorry to correct you, but while the Japanese are indeed celebrating Christmas, to them, it has the meaning of the "season of love". You're supposed to spend Christmas making out with your special someone, and most love hotels will give a discount on the night before it. The Japanese don't understand _any_ of the western definition of it, so they're not celebrating X-mas. They're celebrating their "season of love", which happens to coincide with Christmas.
GehnRahl said @ 10:14pm GMT on 19th Dec
agree, but it was supposed to be brief =)
thikarai said @ 10:25pm GMT on 19th Dec
wow ... we're always behind the japanese in everything >__<"

i think that's what we need ... an institutionalized mating season :) i think a lot less people would get pissed off (well, then, a different bunch would begin to get pissed off) if we had a season just for making out
Ifrit said @ 10:33pm GMT on 19th Dec
YOu mean Spring Break?
thikarai said @ 12:01am GMT on 20th Dec
yes, but spring break isn't seasonal ... it's also geographically bound. people not in warm areas dont' get to experience the spring break magic except through the adult video stores.
Ifrit said @ 10:32pm GMT on 19th Dec
this is my anime mind going through, but I think I remember watching some anime where they said that "christmas" sounds like apocolypse to them...b/c you know, anime is REAL like the internet.
pserafinhk said @ 3:02am GMT on 20th Dec
Well said. Christmas is for many a secular holiday. It has nothing to do with Christ. The secular celebration is generally about spending time with family, especially those that you don't see too often, and to enjoy the smile you put on someone's face when you exchange gifts.
Ifrit said @ 9:41pm GMT on 19th Dec
I haven't had any comical stories about religion and christmas cover ups. I don't really care. I grew up where my parents didn't care about religion too much. To this day, I don't know what they believe in but they've never pressured me one way or the other with religious beliefs. I think for the most part, they think religious organizations are a waste of time and people should be working any day of the week they please, as long as there's some sort of break in between.

However, when I was younger, they still treated Christmas pretty special, probably because they didn't have a choice since I always asked about it and I thought it was a big deal. Even without any presents I was a happy kid. (I've hardly ever received presents from family or friends and so I hardly give out any - what's the point ? I'm happy that during Christmas time, people gather together and try their best to forget about all the shit that went down during the year and remember only the good parts of the year. I'm really only happy when I'm spending time with people that I enjoy being with. I'm going to call it Christmas because that's what people like: they wanna celebrate the birth of some guy named Jesus. I don't care for much of this PC stuff, call this time of year whatever you want. It's Christmas to me. Shut up and enjoy it.
Naruki said @ 2:51am GMT on 20th Dec
Damn! I thought I was the only one who was unsure of my parents' religions. I wonder how common that is?
Ifrit said @ 6:21am GMT on 20th Dec
I think I don't know because my parents and I don't talk much. I just kinda tell them when I'm leaving and when I'll be home and that's about it. I mainly sit around and do absolutely nothing. In fact, my dad is typing away on the computer while I sit in the opposite end typing away at the computer. Besides, "I gotta take the car in for a look tomorrow" that's about all I said to him today. I know my grandparents haven't recently switched from Buddhism to Christianity, but my sister calls it Buddhist-Christianity because Christianity is for white people.
f00m@nB@r said @ 7:49am GMT on 20th Dec
probably common among (east) asians.
sacrelicious said @ 9:43pm GMT on 19th Dec
the religious institutions and their followers are all the time floating between marginalizing, patronizing and mocking atheism. I suppose turnabout is fair play.
k1w1 said @ 9:54pm GMT on 19th Dec
all i have to say to those who take CHRISTmas a tad bit too seriously ~ ~

DUMBFUCKISTAN - SNL dec 18
thikarai said @ 9:54pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:2]
do you mind? i'm a watered down catholic mocking my own religion ... why do you assume i'm an atheist?

(yeah, i'm not being very serious about this) .... i think one of the things "world" religions lack nowadays is a sense of humour .... seriously.
tragicjester said @ 9:58pm GMT on 19th Dec
+1 mcdonald
quaint said @ 10:04pm GMT on 19th Dec
-1 link bad
-1 wrong place to be asking
+1 the autotheocracists of SE seem to be downmodding you
+1 valid question
-1 who actually gives a shit? Let them carry on with their spending, it helps the economy
+1 The Friday Night Armistice, who sent Tony Blair lots of very funny christmas cards. That you probaly don't know about. And only those people who remembed The Friday Night Armistice do.

So all in all, a +/-0 "meh".
De_Wr0ng said @ 10:08pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
Yep, You're a dick.
Ronald_McDonald said @ 10:28pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:-5 Troll]
While studying all of your previous posts, i wonder if you'll ever get the time to go out into the real world to feel the touch of another woman... oh well, im sure your hand has had enough training.... why bother, leave all of them to the real men.

Yours truly

Ronald

(you love teh cock)
De_Wr0ng said @ 10:34pm GMT on 19th Dec
I love my cock, and does scent of a woman ring a bell?
De_Wr0ng said @ 10:39pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:1 Funny]
P.S. You're still a dick!
gos_jim said @ 10:10pm GMT on 19th Dec
-1 "Typical Atheist" - you're just as bad as us with stereotypes, congratulations.
Ronald_McDonald said @ 10:45pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:-1 Troll]
Then why -1? surely you of all people would understand being a stereotypcial atheist?

You can post a 'I'm an atheist' post... no-one is stopping you. Free speech and all
sacrelicious said @ 10:11pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
and what, pray tell, does the most dominant, wealthy, and politically powerful theology in the word have to feel embattled about? a few atheists cracking jokes? a few non-christians standing up for their right not to have their tax dollars fund religious symbols? a few businesses shrewdly trying to avoid any endorsement of a single religion because they know many of their customers don't subscribe to that faith? and on the latter at least, would you rather the stores be filled to the brim with merchandise bearing the image of your savior, and using your religion to sell more product? is that what your religion is about? is that what you want it reduced to?

and as for any mocking of your religion, well boo-fucking-hoo. it isn't like your creed is being oppressed the world over. if anything, you guys are historically the oppressors. so yeah, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's okay to tease and mock a religion, as long as it is the dominant religion and hold the reigns of world power.

if you're the over-dog and you complain about the piddly little insignifigant jabs that you must take now and then as the over-dog, then you're just a whiney little bitch.
GehnRahl said @ 10:15pm GMT on 19th Dec
+1 Simpsons name
blood_hawk said @ 10:13pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:3 Informative]
i'm just so happy ronald is back.
he made SE awesome
De_Wr0ng said @ 10:18pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
So did longhair.
blood_hawk said @ 10:23pm GMT on 19th Dec
SE is nothing without its extremists :(
GCobbz said @ 10:53pm GMT on 19th Dec [Score:1 Underrated]
longhair at least had a point :\
Ifrit said @ 10:30pm GMT on 19th Dec
same here...I was dying for something entertaining to do on the net. I wish longhair would come back too and stir shit up. I think Ronald might end up pulling some positive mods soon because people like to argue and keep things going...
badger said @ 1:03am GMT on 20th Dec
I thought ronald was longhairs new id?
LoC said @ 1:57am GMT on 20th Dec
No no, ronald is an old school troll whos unhealthly obssessed with little_hell.
Ronald_McDonald said @ 10:30pm GMT on 19th Dec
Ronald comes but once a year
eskimonoise said @ 10:56pm GMT on 19th Dec
So have a wank every now and then
Satan said @ 5:01am GMT on 20th Dec
I'm more of a In-And-Out fan myself
MEEJA HOR said @ 10:25pm GMT on 19th Dec
Oh god he's back again.
Ronald_McDonald said @ 10:32pm GMT on 19th Dec
Yes, your prayers have been answered
MEEJA HOR said @ 10:36pm GMT on 19th Dec
Well where is my shiny new bike then??
Ronald_McDonald said @ 10:37pm GMT on 19th Dec
Hey, it was either me or the bike...
MEEJA HOR said @ 10:50pm GMT on 19th Dec
Santa can be a right cunt sometimes
Fudley_Dudley said @ 10:56pm GMT on 19th Dec
"Hey Santa"

Quite often I get a thinking
How as kids we got by
Like christmas time in our house
We couldn't even afford a fire

But we made do in our house
Back then when I was young
Dad used to suck a peppermint
And we'd all sit round his tongue

We couldn't afford no tinsel
On our christmas tree
So we'd just wheel old grandad in
And make the old cunt sneeze...atchoo

Wheel him round the other side granny...atchoo

Well things change so bloody fast
I got children now of me own
Now I heard 'em unwrap their presents
Last night when I got home

Santa claus you cunt
Where's my fucking bike
I've unwrapped all this other junk
There's nothing what i like

I've wrote you a letter
And i've come to see you twice
You geriatric wanker
Where's my fucking bike

If i wanted a pair of fucking shoes
I would've fucking asked
This cowboy suit and ping-pong set
You can stick right up your arse

You went and mucked my order up
It's enough to make you spew
It's not just me that's pissed off
My sister's cheesed off too

Santa claUs you cunt
Where's my fucking pram
You promised me you fucking cunt
You know who I am

'Cos I'm the little girl
You made sit right on your hand
Never mind your ho ho ho
Where's my fucking pram

Next time i go to see him
I'm gonna punch him in the guts
Set his fucking reindeer loose
Kick rudolf in the nuts

Just you wait til next year
'Til we get to that store
A mate of my little sister
'll come stomping through that door

Hey mums and dads just check his breath
And watch his bloodshot eyes
Don't listen to him boys and girls
'Cos he tells fucking lies

He's a pisstake and a pervert
He's not even fucking bright
'Cos that fucking wanker
Forgot my fucking bike

Hey santa claus you cunt
Where's my fucking bike
I've unwrapped all this other junk
There's nothing what I like

I wrote you a fucking letter
And I came to see you twice
You geriatric wanker
Forgot my fucking bike

Yeah I'm gonna tell my dad on you
Fucking punch your head in....cunt
I saw mummy sucking santa
Baxter_UK said @ 1:32pm GMT on 20th Dec
Kevin Bloody Wilson, indeed.
letoofdune said @ 12:21am GMT on 20th Dec
I'm gone for 3 days and I miss the return of Ronald McDonald. I knew I shouldn't have stopped at that McDonalds in Tennessee.
sn said @ 12:36am GMT on 20th Dec [Score:3 Underrated]
-1 Incomprehensible
einstuerzende said @ 1:26am GMT on 20th Dec [Score:1 Underrated]
Just thought I'd chip in with a mod and add to the bile. So far as I can tell, from all those lovely posts, you're a real fucker.

But yeah, where did Longhair go?
Fudley_Dudley said @ 2:06am GMT on 20th Dec
He got a haircut and ran Gw's last presidential campaign under the name, Spooge McKneely.
Juxtapose said @ 3:18am GMT on 20th Dec
All that ... plus it's NSFW.
matt said @ 3:49am GMT on 20th Dec [Score:3 Insightful]
Fuck your religion Ronald. Fuck it to fuckland. I'll mock it all I want and enjoy every second of it. Why? Well it's an easy target with plenty of mock material, for one. It's incredibly dumb and an embarrassment to humanity, for another. It's a lucky thing we haven't met aliens yet, or we'd be suffering some shocking intergalactic culture cringe.
nip said @ 6:21am GMT on 20th Dec
Your the insult master!
eskimonoise said @ 7:45am GMT on 20th Dec
You're the insult master!
I don't mean you're the insult master, but rather that teh matt is the the insult master and your just crap with an apostrophe.
The missing apostrophe in your was intentional
ricky60 said @ 7:50am GMT on 20th Dec [Score:1 Funny]
you're just crap with an apostrophe.
eskimonoise said @ 10:42am GMT on 20th Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
You're just crap at noticing the semi hidden white writing
Trigger said @ 1:00pm GMT on 20th Dec
OMFG, WERE all CRAP!!1
ricky60 said @ 3:55am GMT on 20th Dec
Jesus is a penis, a lingus, a dingus;
Fellatio not cunnilingus!
A wild willy weenus
Annointing you with oil,
You can fire that old moyle
Cause Jesus will heal your boil
And you'll have moreskin
On your foreskin
A penis just like Jesus
Ressurected like an erection
Tne seed of Yahweh In the Earth
Cause His momma never gave birth
And He's hanging with a Mary
So you know He ain't no fairy
Contrary to the Adversary
You know He likes to eat
And I'd like to rub His feet
At dinner, He's a winner
He's risen
Like bread
So you know He aint not dead
His flesh is sweet
like meat,
and a holy grail vino
to go with holy dough, you know
Like a sandwich from Gino's
Pizzeria mamma mia
Diggin' that vagia pecis
He's precious and precocious
Rappin' that holy gnosis
Fuggaget about keepin' kosher
And blowin' another Shofer
It's what goes out, not what goes in
That makes what it is a sin
You can say it's just a fantasy
And then I'll call you a Pharisee
Stop sinnin', no kiddin'
Or you won't get eternal livin'
In His daddy's many homes,
You be in a stoney hole, holmes!
Just a bag of bones --
No television or phone!
Money ain't that funny
Just a matter of Mammon
We're jammin' --
against Caesar
To Hell with that old geezer!
Wait till you get crucified a coupla times,
You might lose your mind and find
You know what it feels like in Hades
Without no ladies; just scabies;
Like a leper without a lingam
By golly gumbo jingham
The prasin we'll be singin'
The demons?
We'll fling 'em
Into the River of Fire
With the Liar in the pyre
Gonna get higher
Than heaven
And let the bakers use their leven
Eat my crackers
you slackers
The number is 777
666 is sick sick sick
The Beast is just a prick
But Jesus is a penis
a lingus, a dingus;
Fellatio not cunnilingus!
ckfahrenheit said @ 5:10am GMT on 20th Dec
as an anti-theist I'm not interested in mocking any religion, you can believe anything you wish, and I hope it works for you. Just don't anyone go out of their way to fucking start preaching to ME.

And I make jokes about my own race - if anyone can't handle mocking, they're pretty weak
YakumoFuji said @ 8:53am GMT on 20th Dec
this dude cracks me up
Fenny said @ 9:55am GMT on 20th Dec
Byeeee....
Saint_Marck said @ 11:01am GMT on 20th Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
Hotlink!
De_Wr0ng said @ 5:04pm GMT on 20th Dec [Score:2 Interesting]
Hey Ronald, just how far back did you go down-modding my posts?

Would worked too, cept B busted you. Thanks B.



P.S.
You're still a dick.

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